I am sitting on my couch with a book perched on my lap and a YNAB blanket wrapped around my legs (#swag). Every 15 minutes or so I look up and out my apartment windows to see what new wildlife I can spot.
The usual suspects include a cute green hummingbird (I’ve named him George), blue jays, black-capped chickadees, ravens and squirrels. The Space Needle and the Seattle skyline chill in the distance. I’ve been in this spot for six hours and it’s been absolutely glorious.
I have only met one person in life that can match me for unproductivity: my retired Mom. It might be that a lifetime of working multiple jobs and raising 3 kids in a combined family led her to enter a kind of hibernation mode and become a master of unproductivity after all those stressors were removed, but I’ve always been this way.
I require a lot of downtime to function, especially since I chose marketing, a human interaction heavy career that goes against my hardcore introvert requirements (dumb – I know). So when I need to recharge, I park it somewhere, don’t move for hours and have the time of my life.
My Mom and I have coined this way of life #SlugLife – a play on “Thug Life” (a term made famous by the rapper Tupac that basically means starting out with nothing and building yourself into something).
In today’s world that glorifies being busy, our ‘lazy’ Slug Life tendencies are usually met with confusion. Here’s a common interaction I have with my colleagues:
Colleague: “What did you do this weekend? I hiked Mt. Si, threw a bon fire party on the beach and worked on my side hustle!”
Me: “Cool! I read a book on the couch – It was awesome!”
Colleague:…???
If you’re getting John Mulaney vibes, that was intentional 😉 . Love his work. Anyway, these same colleagues that start every conference call on Friday with “TGIF!” don’t seem to comprehend that doing ‘nothing’ (for some) can be immensely pleasurable and even necessary for the more introverted ones of us who expend most of our social energy at our jobs.
I understand that for many people, their weekends are filled with errands and activities they couldn’t get to during the week. I also understand that some people don’t require immense downtime and feel energized by doing the exact opposite of lying on the couch all day. That’s obviously totally cool – Do what makes you happy.
And if what makes you happy is not leaving your house all day, don’t feel guilty for doing so. Yes, I can sit still and read for hours and yes, it makes me happy like few things do. I was recently edified in my love of idleness after I finished the awesome book How To Be Idle by Tom Hodgkinson. Here’s a snippet:
“Idlers, far from being a burden, are in fact an elite, an elect. They are apostles, visionaries. They see more clearly than the rest; they have refused to be victimized by the customs of others; their eyes are open, they have created time.”
My love of downtime doesn’t just stop at being a couch potato and reading though. Some of my other favorite activities include:
- Laying on the beach all day with a ridiculous fiction book (beach reads anyone?)
- Napping on my bed sporadically between trips to the kitchen to eat
- Seeing how long I can avoid leaving my parents’ house when I visit (my record is 5 days – I only left to go back to the airport at the end of my stay. Living the dream!)
Obviously, I don’t do these things all the time or every day because for me doing so would make it normal instead of special and variety is the spice of my life, BUT I give myself permission to relax A LOT. I don’t feel the need to go Go GO all the time. Busy does not equal productive…and productivity might be overrated (Please hold your “Boo!”s until the end).
I like to call myself unproductive and specifically “lazy” because of my penchant for not moving and ‘chilling’ but my cousin has rebranded this for me (she’s also a marketer). She says I’m not lazy, but “staunchly protective of [my] free time” and I guess that’s true.
Now just to be clear, I don’t shy away from hard work. For example, my job overall can be very demanding. The last two work days I cranked from 9am to 10pm and basically just went to bed after closing my computer, awakened to our phone alarm, made coffee with bleary eyes and got back to work. I don’t slack on my responsibilities (if I did I doubt I would have made six figures by 27), but I am a serious advocate for listening to your mind and body and not forcing action or productivity just because you feel you “should.”
So in case you’re interested in leaning into your less productive nature and bucking a few trends to see if doing so improves your wellbeing, here are a few examples of ways I uphold #SlugLife to make myself happier:
Opting Out Of Promotion Chasing
I stopped chasing promotions after the disastrous end to my first job. Since then I’ve gained promotions and (until last year) raises by job hopping. Since that first job, I’ve never expressed interest in a promotion to a manager – based on what I’ve seen, heard and experienced doing so just gives you extra work without a guaranteed reward.
I do my job well, but I no longer offer to go above and beyond by planning winter parties, creating and executing plans to boost morale and pitching new clients in addition to my day job – and yes, I’ve actually done all of that in the past. I’m no longer having any of it. I do what needs to be done for my clients to be happy with my work and my company to be successful and that’s it. This has allowed me to completely disconnect my self-worth from my job, which has decreased my stress levels immensely.
Avoiding Hobby Inflation
I absolutely love this blog and the chance it gives me to interact with all of you wonderful people – online and off. But as I mentioned in my 6 month blogging recap, despite everything I love about this hobby one of the main reasons I was not part of the stat that most blogs stop existing after 6 months is because I don’t do anything for this blog unless it is fun. I also don’t do activities that might infringe on my heavily protected chill time. For example, here’s a list of some blog opportunities I’ve been offered and turned down:
- A 2 month freelance writing gig
- Guest posts on other sites
- Sponsored post offers
- Free products in return for a review
In the beginning of my public blogging journey, I said yes to everything and it was an extremely stressful time (I’ll expand on that more in my Blogiversary post that’s coming at the end of July 😉 ). I had to cut back and be intentional about what I said yes to so I could protect my necessary down time – even in a realm I love.
Taking a minute to pause and asking two questions has been instrumental to my wellbeing:
- Do I REALLY want to do X?
- Do I have time to do X without curtailing my down time to unsustainable levels?
If the answer is yes to both I happily add it to my plate, but that is not often the case.
Examining Event ROI
In a similar vein to trying to be very intentional with my time and energy even if it’s something I enjoy: I have done a complete 180 in the last few years regarding life event celebrations, specifically cross country weddings. The year after we moved from NYC to Seattle three members of our family decided to get married – all on the east coast. Talk about unfortunate timing.
So every few weeks that summer we flew across the country, usually with a layover in the middle and some type of delayed flight/stuck in the airport snafu thrown in for extra jollies. We went through all that to interact with the people we loved for maybe 5 minutes and spend thousands of dollars and entire weekends (and additional weeks recovering) to do so.
After that year I reflected on what had happened and realized there has to be a better way. I came up with and pitched an idea to my friends that were getting married the following year (also on the east coast of course…). I asked them if they would rather I come to their wedding or have me spend those thousands to come visit them at another time for much longer stretch that involved 100% one on one time. So far all of my friends who I’ve offered this choice have chosen the latter.
So this year we are not attending any cross country weddings, my life has felt a lot less hectic as a result and both me and my friends are looking forward to the extended amount of time we will spend together. Politely questioning something as expected as attending a friend or family member’s far away celebration has helped me protect this chill time I seem to require to be a pleasant person and overall increase the amount of quality time I have with those I love.
Conclusion
So those are the ways I’ve taken my belief in the importance of unproductivity and pulled it through my life to increase my happiness and the energy I have left over for what really matters. If you’re like me and need to recharge – please, protect your free time. Think about what you really want and don’t be afraid to go after it. Even if what you want is six hours of silence with a good book.
Do you feel the need to always be productive? Am I the only one that loves the #SlugLife?
Love this! I remember the best summers I had was when I was in high school and spent 8 hours every day at the library. Now my summers are taken up with various professional development and social obligations. Working on it though 😉
Oooh those sound like lovely days! Let me know how working on it goes. I’ve also gotten caught up in increased social engagements when the weather is nice. It’s hard to resist when the sun is calling, but I persevere 🙂 .
I go back and forth constantly on my weekends between full throttle restlessness and productivity and living that #SlugLife. Part of the restlessness is my anxiety manifesting as a means to keep myself busy. On the other hand, I am gloriously aware of the joys of a slow weekend (and I’ve written about it on the blog).
It’s so awesome that you’re protective of your free time, especially given your job and personality. I also love your take on weddings. I never would have thought to offer that!
That’s interesting you can vacillate between those two. I’m rarely full throttle, but when I am I can’t seem to flip the switch and embrace my slug tendencies. Would love to learn more about that and will check out those posts on your blog 🙂 .
I also hear you on being busy to fight anxiety I found myself completing booking my life with activities for that reason a few years ago and found that it did work for me because the second I would stop for a second the anxiety would be there waiting. Now I just sit with it in silence until I can learn to cope.
Feel free to steal the wedding idea 😉 I hope your friends are open minded as well!
I need to do this more. I love my downtime and I was better at getting it before I went back to work but now there is so much to get done that I have a hard time relaxing. I love curling up with a good book!
Well you’re now subscribed to my weekly botherings via Twitter so get ready to see your life change 🙂 !
Two things came to mind reading this.
1. It’s ok to say no when a request for my time is not aligned with how I truly want to spend my life.
2. I need to stay mindful of how this blog encroaches on the my downtime.
Thanks for the reminders. I know my downtime is necessary for me to recharge and to be able to really be present in this life. But sometimes it helps to be reminded of it.
Yes! Exactly. Realizing that even things that bring me immense joy can overall drain me if I let them seep into my needed downtime was my main ah-ha moment of this year. Great point on downtime helping us be present too – that’s totally right. Happy I could provide a reminder!
Oh you know this hits home! I’ve been working a lot on protecting my free time, especially over the past year. I’m pretty good at stepping off of social obligations, I’m just recently getting better at protecting my free time from my own productivity desires!
With the kids and all the responsibilities that come with keeping those little people alive, it’s been a process just to acknowledge all that I’m doing, even if it feels unproductive to me. I want to work on building in more of those #SlugLife activities into my life to counteract the energy that goes into all of these responsibilities and recover, before doing it all over again!
Really love how you’ve understood and implemented this need to protect your free time! Thanks for the inspiration.
P.s: You know I read that colleague interaction all over again with John Mulaney’s voice multiple times lol! Love him!
That’s awesome you’re already good at saying no to social obligations, but realizing that our own goals can sometimes be counterintuitive to what our body and mind needs = Genius!
And yes I can only imagine how little downtime I would have if I had all of your responsibilities. Let me know how integrating the #SlugLife goes. I’m curious how you’ll choose to juggle everything.
And haha – once again we are TV soulmates. Love me some Mulaney!
Love this! Recovering workaholic here. A few years ago i bought into the side hustle, hustle hard subculture. I think it caused me to burnout a few times. Now I try to allow myself naps (in the past I would feel bad for even needinf one!) and set firm limits on myself – no work after 7pm etc. Still trying though. Thrre are days I actually feel mad at myself for not being productive!
Oh wow – that’s so interesting. I have wrestled with “am I just a lazy person” vs “I need a lot of downtime to function” — they include the same actions, but for different reasons. I’ve never bought into the hustle hard subculture for myself though maybe that’s because I gave my all to my main job to try and make bank there.
Love the idea of limits after acknowledging what you need! It so silly we feel bad about naps and breaks when in the end they make us MORE productive when we get back to our ‘work’. So glad you’re setting boundaries and making a change – that’s awesome. Next step: not getting mad at yourself for taking a break when needed and being ok with not being productive all day 🙂
hey, you worked in one of my favorite terms: “jollies.” well done on that. i’m happy for you for finding out this valuable secret relatively early in life. sometimes i say “no” to activities that don’t seem like fun to me and elect just to stay home and relax with some sports on tv. the world can go ahead and judge. it’s my time and i’ll choose how to spend it.
for years i worked crazy swing shift hours and that was a great excuse to not do stuff. the past couple of years i haven’t had that excuse but continue to say “no” to a lot of stuff. i should have said no to that podcast appearance as i had to use 2 hours vacation time to record it. well done. you’ll live longer by owning your time.
It was all for you freddy 😉 . Good to know this is another smidlap secret I’ve uncovered! Saying “no” to things you don’t want to do is an amazing life hack I’m surprised more people don’t do (because of something about other people and expectations or something 😉 ).
Love that you use swing hours as an excuse – I used to have something similar as well. I would tell people Fridays were “Date Night” so I could get out of anything elegantly, but really Fridays were “I am so excited to do nothing while my partner plays video games” days. Best day of the week.
And though I’m sorry you had to use 2 hours of vacation time I am very glad you did that podcast episode. It was great to hear your voice and perspective 🙂 !
Oh, I’m definitely living the #sluglife as evidenced by my need to write not one, but two posts last month about being Lazy. Sure, I tried to provide a positive spin, but it was really just to make me feel better about being lazy.
Well I hope your posts helped you feel better about being lazy. It’s silly to me that our culture idolizes busyness so much that taking time to recharge is called ‘lazy’ – we don’t call cell phones lazy when they have a low battery and need to be plugged in! (A bit of a stretch, but you get my point 🙂 .)
I’m with you 100% and love your idea of talking to the couples getting married to offer an option for your seeing them later in the year! I never would have thought of that!!
I began to realize more and more (years ago) that I valued downtime when a friend would check in with me about what I would be getting done that night or that weekend… and she’d tell me all about her goals for her free time and would then express disappointment with herself if she didn’t get all her tasks done. I finally asked her (with kindness!) if there were productivity police patrolling her neighborhood at night to see what she got done..
I intentionally don’t make plans on back to back weeknights… and try not to make any but end up being somewhat busy. I guard my evening routine which starts at 8:30 with taking magnesium supplements, washing my face, relaxing, then getting to sleep by 9:30.
Something new this year was taking a solo cruise. A friend couldn’t go so I went alone and looked forward to it for months! I couldn’t wait to be in a room alone with no one needing me – no family needing me, no one calling out my name from a nearby office, no one asking me to do extra volunteer hours, etc. It was blissful. I would wake up, stare into space for awhile, get ready slowly, and get a meal… then I’d go into whichever town the ship was docked at that day, go for long walks, visit a few shops, get coffee, return to the ship for lunch and then a nap or a movie, and then pick scheduled items from the ship’s daily schedule. I cannot wait for my next solo cruise!
Haha yeah – some people have been horrified that I even asked that question, but if my friend whos wedding it is doesn’t care it’s all good. Wow your friend sounds really driven. I have friends like that – and they now know better than to ask me if I have goals for the evening/weekends 😉 . I love asking about productivity police – that’s amazing.
Oooh not making back to back weeknight plans is a good rule! I find myself accidentally making plans and then realizing I have something every night for a week EEK! Not good. Your evening routine sounds lovely. We’ve just started going to bed around 10pm (usually it was 12am or 1am because of work) and it’s been great. I’ve been waking up with the sun at 5 or 6am (we’re in Seattle) and having time before work is awesome!
A solo cruise sounds interesting! I haven’t heard of someone doing that before. Yay for your friend cancelling 😉 ! I hope the next one is similarly blissful.
Love this! I have always been a bit of a plodder who heartily embraced ‘nothing time’. But I also felt guilty because the world so celebrates and promotes the ideals of accomplishment and productivity.
Nice to know I am not alone in bucking the trend.
I haven’t heard the word “plodder” before – LOVE IT! I get the guilt and am glad you were able to buck it off. The world celebrates a lot of crazy things – the celebration of busyness is just one of them 🙂 . Buck those trends!
To each their own!
Exactly 🙂
This is me. I recently went on a friend trip wine tasting for a long weekend and at the end of each day I was so burnt out I had trouble carrying on a conversation. One night I couldn’t even face watching tv together so I escaped to my bed to read alone. When I recounted this to other friends and said that I realized that I just can’t handle that much interaction without some alone time my friends are like, “you just noticed this?”
I do sometimes feel guilty for sitting on the couch for an entire day or not leaving the house for the whole weekend (or longer sometimes). I have things I want to do but I don’t always have the mental capacity to make myself get out to do them. I’m curious to see how my capacity changes when I’m not going to the office 5 days a week.
Haha friends are hilarious. I’m glad you figured it out and gave yourself some alone time. I usually can only do part of a day “on” and then require at least 4 hours of down and alone time + 8 hours of sleep so I guess my days (including vacation) are cut in half with people and no people. I used to feel that guilt too, but then I just embraced how good doing ‘nothing’ made me feel and like that a lot better 🙂 . I am similarly curious if I’ll require less down time when I don’t have to expend 8-12 hours a day working. We shall see!
I have chronic fatigue, so I’ve had to learn to be unproductive and just let myself chill out. It can be restorative. Other times it’s boring as hell. But it’s good for me and keeps me from stressing out my system.
There’s at least one day a week that I don’t leave the house at all. And those are great days because it generally means I spent $0 — another benefit to not being productive.
I’m sorry about your chronic fatigue and am glad you found something that helps. And that’s a great point! Stay away from online shopping and days spent inside are no spend days – I love that finance spin! Thank you for stopping by.
It’s because you are an INTJ. Google it and be ready to go down a rabbit hole. Then google ‘female INTJ’ and be prepared to sit on your couch in front of your laptop for the next 12 hrs. And trust me, it will be pleasurable. :p
How’d you know I was an INTJ 🙂 ? I don’t put much stock in Myers-Briggs classifications though: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NQqSnkI32A
As an INTJ who has studied MBTI extensively, I could tell by reading a few of your blog posts that you are also INTJ. Along with other INTJ bloggers (according to me, they may not know it themselves, haha) such as earlyretirementextreme, gocurrycracker and retireby40, I find your thinking and writing to be very relatable even if we are classified as ‘weird’ by the rest of society. I can spot my tribe easily. Haha
Just b/c something has not been ‘scientifically proven’ doesn’t mean it’s incorrect. I think MBTI has great value; instead of just scratching the surface, you should take a deep dive. You just have to be selective with what you read b/c there’s a lot of garbage out there. But if you can filter out the truths, it can completely change your life for the better.
It has transformed my life now that I fully understand myself and others and how to interact with all 16 types. My passions include MBTI and FIRE. I’ve been hoping to find a good female INTJ blogger who can also see the power of MBTI. I guess my interests are just too esoteric. But I’m used to it. Haha. Perhaps after you’ve FIREd you’ll have the time and interest to look into it and find some universal truths.
That’s fascinating that you can guess people’s types by their writing and it’s interesting that you name some of my top 10 favorite bloggers in there. I’m glad you’ve found value in MBTI – I’ll look more into it and maybe I’ll be able to gather some insights into how to work better with others 😉 .
My spot is at the kitchen table where, more often than not, I have a stack of books and a journal. From their I can see out our sliding glass door into the yard and watch the sparrows, robins, squirrels, and rabbits.
My kid thinks I’m possibly the most boring person ever. lol
That sounds like an absolutely lovely set up. Your kids are just jealous 😉 but seriously I’m almost certain they’ll come around to wise ways soon enough.
I love reading too, but I don’t think it’s unproductive. That’s relaxing time and you always learn something. Watching TV is my unproductive guilt. We get DVDs from the library. That’s real unproductive time.
YouTube and social media too…
Maybe I should show you the kind of fiction books I read sometimes and you might feel differently 🙂 they are definitely not teaching me something…As for TV, YouTube and social media I don’t necessarily see those things as unproductive. On YouTube I watch science shows and film critiques and always learn something. Social media is where I hang with friends and make new ones – super productive 😉 !
I absolutely love the wedding idea!
But I gotta say I’m not a fan of #ThePurpleWay. It apparently opposes everything #TheSeonwooWay stands for.
Glad you like it and LOL – there can be different approaches to life you know 😉 . Even lazy ones that go against the #TheSeonwooWay. Not everyone is cut out for your hardcore path!
Lies! #TheSeonwooWay is the one true way!
*facepalm* Somehow this seems on brand for #TheSeonwooWay while the motto of #ThePurpleWay might as well be “you do you” 🙂
I was an introvert in an extrovert job leading hundreds of people, so I feel you about that. But I don’t think recharging requires inactivity, just a little solitude. I did it doing twenty mile solo runs or playing singles tennis where there isn’t much talk during a match, way too tired for small talk on change overs. But like you, it wasn’t productive in an outward sense, but very much so inwardly. I always feel a kinship with you when I read your posts, the clan of secret introversion maybe?
Hundreds?!? Woah. I can’t even imagine. That’s really interesting that your recharging doesn’t involve inactivity and after thinking about a while I’m with you – if I take a long walk in the woods alone that helps me recharge, but it is ‘active.’ Thank you for expanding my perspective! That’s so nice to hear – thank you for telling 🙂 and I’m always down for starting a group focused on introversion – we would all have our own rooms with doors closed 🙂 🙂 !
I’m in your tribe, too. Introvert with people-facing job where I have to be “on” much of the day. I would say that taking time for yourself is not unproductive, though. You’re refueling the tank! (As am I, typing from my couch after a long day at work.)
Glad I’m not the only one to make this wild professional choice 😉 . I totally agree with you that it’s not ‘unproductive’ – it’s necessary to recharge. I just wish our society felt the same 🙂 . Thank you for stopping by!
Don’t know why I missed this post, so a liiittle late to the convo 🙂 But anyway for me, I like to be productive when I work, and become totally lax during free time – whether that’s just chilling, travelling.. After all we need that down time to be productive at work! If you like reading fiction books by the beach, I also suggest to just lie in one spot and observe the people nearby. Can be quite fun actually 🙂
Your point about weddings is interesting, especially as more and more of my friends are leaving for the States, Canada etc. I also hope my friends will be cool as yours!! It’s hard to say though because ppl have different STANDARDS for weddings..some think it’s a very important day while others, not so much.
Haha no worries. And that’s an awesome perspective. What do you call working on your blog then? Is it part of chilling 🙂 ? People watching is awesome – the Atlanta airport (busiest in the world) is my favorite people watching spot. It’s hilarious.
Totally hear you on weddings and it’s obviously up to you and your friend how you handle it. I hope it works out well as people move further away 🙂 !
Oh blogging is not chilling for me haha. I intend to make it into a full-time business! Not looking forward to make any crazy numbers though, just enough so that I have food on the table, pay my hosting fees, and fund my parents’ retirement 🙂 Interesting, didn’t know Atlanta was so busy!
Oh ok – I had miscategorized it 🙂 . That’s a cool goal – I hope you reach it! Do you have any plans for how you’re going to? (Just curious). And yeah ATL is a huge hub because airlines like Delta are based there and it has easy access to Europe/West Africa.
Yes sure 🙂 There will never be ads, for one. I’ve been interested in affiliate marketing for a while now, ever since reading sth on Making Sense of Cents years ago (but I want to only include this occasionally, and products/services that I have used and liked to the point I told all my friends haha). Also, hopefully some sponsored posts on services that I frequent (ex. Udemy). If all that doesn’t work out – thinking of publishing an ebook! 🙂
Nice post, purple. I agree on not going above and beyond for a job.
My MO is to do what works needs doing and not doing anything else unless absolutely necessary. My employer is paying me per hour and that’s all the time I should give them. If I give them more then that’s just giving freebies. Why give more of your already limited time? 🙂
Although, I absolutely can’t spend the day not doing anything and laying about. That’s a high level skill. I just get bored too easily. Hahaha!
Glad you liked it! I love that MO and have been following that myself – even down to the nonsense chain emails people send. I stopped participating 3 years ago and haven’t volunteered to do anything extra on top of my job a little after that. Hourly sounds interesting and I like the freebies mindset. And lol I don’t think I’ve ever heard my slug tendencies called a “high level skill”, but I love it. I don’t really understand the concept of “bored” 🙂 – what do you mean by that? Like you prefer a lot of stimulation vs laying on the couch reading for hours?