Five years ago, I was sharing a studio apartment with my partner. It had 200 usable square feet (the rest was a hallway) and faced an office building and the parking lot of a dive bar that is known for having a swing over the bar top (classy place 😉 ).
Today, I’m sitting in my top floor, corner unit Seattle apartment with the sun on my face, looking out at the Space Needle while a hummingbird flits around the trees outside our window (I’ve named him George 🙂 ).
Five years ago, I was commuting at least half an hour across the city to an office that had one tiny elevator for the entire building, which required us to wait in line to get to our floor. I would make sure I allotted an extra 15 minutes to my commute time for this lovely inefficiency.
These days, I awaken slowly with my partner, make some tea or coffee, and settle onto my couch to crank out some work emails. It’s so efficient it’s sexy 🙂 . Around noon, I often walk to the grocery store to grab some fresh food for lunch or dinner.
In comparison, five years ago, I rarely had time to take a lunch break (especially given how long that blasted elevator took)! I would at times not eat all day if I hadn’t brought a meal I could scarf down at my desk in between conference calls and email pings.
I was working my tail off, eating poorly and constantly tired. I also just felt adrift. I had finally found my dream job, the one I thought would make me one of those people who gets excited to go to work and feels fulfilled by the work they do. But instead, I felt the same as ever. I hated my job less, but I would still look out the window at the world I wanted to be a part of – instead of being chained to this desk while dealing with dumbass office politics.
I had achieved my only aim (that dream job) and had no real goals. Luckily, this is when I decided to finally listen to my partner and look into that “financial independence/retire early (FIRE)” thing he mentioned two years earlier. After those years, it finally clicked why someone might be interested in such a goal. I had tried it my way: getting that ‘dream job’ and was still unfulfilled, so it was time to try another approach.
So here I am after five years on this journey. Throughout this time, my ideas about FIRE and even a happy life have changed immensely. Here’s what I’ve learned:
FIRE Isn’t About Deprivation
One of my original objections to pursuing financial independence was that the examples I was given looked like a life of deprivation to me. I thought I would have to sacrifice things I wanted so I could retire five or ten years down the line. The trade off didn’t seem worth it.
Luckily, by reading more blogs and being exposed to other perspectives and voices, I discovered that I had it all wrong. FIRE isn’t about deprivation. I have been able to find a way to get exactly what I want for free or cheap through things like travel hacking and geo-arbitrage. I am able to fly around the world in first class by travel hacking and I have a much nicer apartment for almost half the cost simply because we moved from Manhattan to Seattle.
And if it’s not possible for me to find a free or cheap way to get something I want: I buy it anyway. I buy literally everything I want. I’ve just taken the time to reflect on what I ACTUALLY want and that list is WAY shorter than I thought it would be when I started this journey because I took that time to reflect. I’ve built the life I want and then saved for it, instead of sacrificing current happiness for a tomorrow that may never come.
FIRE Isn’t The Answer
In the beginning, I fell into the trap of thinking that I’ll be happier, healthier and less stressed if only I could achieve this FIRE goal. I’ve changed and recalculated my FIRE plans more times than I could count. It helped after particularly shitty days to do so and see if there was any way I could make this goal happen sooner. I was so extreme at one point that I decided to cut out discretionary spending in order to retire at 29. Dumb dumb dumb!
I was doing everything I could to get to the finish line because I thought that was the answer to all my problems. Luckily throughout this journey, I’ve read about so many awesome people who have reached their FIRE goals only to caution those of us on the journey that it’s not a magical solution. You are the same person after FIRE as you were before – with the same anxiety or depression.
This journey (and having this blog) have forced me to reflect on myself and what would make me happier now instead of just waiting for later. Doing so made me re-examine my plans based on my actual spending and then some, to get to a realistic FIRE number.
This realization also caused me to stay at my current company for over 3 years now. My previous record was 1 year and 10 months. I know that job hopping in the industry is the best way to receive salary increases and have seen my salary almost stagnate after accounting for inflation since I decided to stay at my current job. I decided that ‘slowing down’ my journey was worth it because I like my boss and my remote work arrangement while I dislike the work less than I have at previous companies.
This is also why I try so hard to bring what I want in retirement into my life now through working from other cities and having my friends and family visit for longer amounts of time. So I slowed down and brought what I want in retirement into now after I realized that the goal isn’t everything. I stopped sprinting towards it and acknowledged that I will need to continue working on myself before and after retirement. It’s not a magic pill.
The Time Will Pass Anyway
Our perception of time is a strange one. I remember vividly what I was doing and feeling five years ago and yet 8 months seems like a long time. It’s not. When friends or family express skepticism when I talk about FIRE, I like to bring up this point: the time will pass anyway. Given that fact, why not find a way to save a little if you can, optimize your life and reflect on what actually makes you happy? The time is going to pass by regardless so we might as well be improving as people (or at least trying to) in the meantime.
The Journey Is Boring
You heard me. At the beginning of my journey, I was staying up late after work reading about capital gains tax law and tinkering with spreadsheets. I would get excited about going home after work to binge read my new favorite FIRE blogs.
But then, after a few months, after I had made plans and started implementing them, there was nothing more to research with that kind of single minded fury. There were still things I could learn of course (there always are), but the journey to FIRE was no longer all consuming. It was working in the background with every paycheck that was automatically deposited into my 401(k).
After the initial excitement, this path is indeed boring and you should be prepared for that. After the initial light bulb moment it basically becomes a waiting game, which is why it’s so important to create a life you enjoy now. FIRE won’t be there as a distraction so prepare yourself for that if you’re still in the honeymoon phase.
No One Gives A Shit What You Do
This lesson seems to be popping up all over the place (like in my 100 alcohol free days post), but it seems to be a universal truth. Even this purple weirdo at times becomes preoccupied with what other people think, but I’m happy to report that after five years of telling anyone who would listen that I’m retiring at 30, I can confirm that no one cares 🙂 . Most people brush over my declaration and I’m not sure if that’s because they think I’m loopy or can’t be bothered to ask if I’m a bitcoin billionaire or what.
Those close to me are deeply familiar with my plans and my final countdown to quitting in a few months. Several of them come to me for financial advice, but none have jumped on the FIRE bandwagon, which is fine and better than the alternative of not engaging with their financial life at all.
Personally if I discovered that a friend had been working towards a magic goal of freedom for half a decade and hadn’t told me about this seemingly magical idea of FIRE, I would have been PISSED. So I’m out here being open and leading by example both to be honest and in the hope that it will inspire my friends and family get their financial shit together.
Conclusion
So that’s it – all the wisdom I’ve acquired over this journey that I hope will help you on your path. In addition to the above, I’ve also learned a lot about myself as a result of the reflection that this journey requires. I’ve learned that the things that make me happy are often free or cheap (hello reading on the beach or sipping hot tea while chilling with my partner). I’ve learned that the time with the people I love is way more important to me than the latest iPhone (this was originally up for debate!) and I’ve learned that a traditional job is not for me. It doesn’t fit with the rhythm of my ideal life – so I decided to change it. I’m excited to see what the next five years bring!
What have you learned as you changed your financial life?
I love all of these lessons so much and especially that part about if you had found out a friend had been pursuing this magical goal for half a decade… I would also be pissed! Never thought of it that way and it is mindblowing and encouraging to keep being open with people around me about my goal!
So excited to see what the next five years brings :)!
Right?! When I think about myself in their shoes it would be such a betrayal. Like you had the map to the exit of a labyrinth and have been working towards it for years and didn’t tell me about it! Happy to try to sway you to my way of seeing things 😉 . Keeping spreading the knowledge!
“I decided that ‘slowing down’ my journey was worth it because I like my boss and my remote work arrangement while I dislike the work less than I have at previous companies.”
You touched on a topic that I’ve really been struggling with for the past year. I could most likely find another job that pays at least $10k+ more (which would all go to savings), but my current job is better than all of my past jobs and I’m afraid to return to that. I’ve been at my job for 4.5 years now, and for the first time I’ve stayed somewhere long enough to get an extra week of vacation! My previous record was around 2 years… Not even long enough to be fully vested in most cases.
So the struggle has been deciding whether to stay at my current job that I don’t completely dread coming to (but don’t have much passion for and may not get much more than a 3% annual raise), OR risk taking a position with more unknowns for more money and the opportunity to explore an industry I might enjoy more. An extra $10k savings per year would likely only move up retirement by one year, but if I end up excelling in a new field the earnings potential could be much more. I need a crystal ball!
Thank you for your transparency and sharing your thoughts every week! It definitely helps when the motivation is running low.
I know I’m biased based on the very quote you used above, but if you found a place you can stand I would stay – even if that means giving up some additional money. This company is the only one out of 6 that I’ve been able to tolerate a position in for more than a year so I hold onto that until the cons outweigh the pros, which they haven’t yet. The possibility of more money doesn’t mean a lot to me when I might have to quit that job because it’s not awesome and just come back to this one anyway.
Congratulations on your extra week of vacation (and vesting)! That’s awesome. I’m curious to see what you decide – please keep me posted!
And of course on sharing my weekly thoughts – thank YOU for reading them and commenting. Comments are my fuel 🙂 ! So happy I could help with motivation even in a small way.
nobody does care what you do. if anyone cared what i did outside of close friends and family i would worry about them! if we didn’t put in writing in a public forum what we were doing but instead just lived our private lives like most people we could screw up our journeys or get financially and otherwise “right” and neither would move the needle. you gotta do you.
100% freddy! Great twist to that thought. Definitely going to keep doing me over here.
I DID find something people seem to care about recently – switching my dang phone into Spanish! 😂😂
Well OBVIOUSLY because that’s more ridiculous than retiring at 30 – DUH 😉 !
It’s funny that this is also true for me!: “I like my boss and my remote work arrangement while I dislike the work less than I have at previous companies”.
I used to really enjoy the work, and there was a time I hated it but that has passed, and now I’m just meehhhh about it. For some reason, being apathetic about the work makes it worse than when I actively hated it. I don’t do well with apathy. So these days, my struggle with being content (because we’re nowhere near being able to ditch work entirely) is extra hard work. So much for keeping my attitude appropriate! 😉
It goes up and down. I keep reminding myself that this is a journey and it’s going to be good and bad and everything in the middle because that’s life and we keep living it as we go along. *deep breaths* 😉
“For some reason, being apathetic about the work makes it worse than when I actively hated it” Reeeally?! That is fascinating. I’ve been trying to get to apathy for so long now! Maybe I’ve been shooting for the wrong thing, but since I’ve achieved a level of it my anxiety has decreased substantially and that has always been my main reason behind trying to get closer to apathy.
That is a great mantra to have and so true – all of life is a journey and nothing is perfect (or ever will be perfect). I think you have an awesome and level approach going there.
I should clarify – I wouldn’t knock apathy for anyone else! I thought it was a good way to make things easier all the time but I’m realizing now that maybe it’s just not the way I’m built or have trained myself to be ALL the time.
For the first 8-10 years of my work life, and in parallel with my regular nonwork life, I got by fueled on rage. Everything was infuriating – my toxic parent, my toxic sibling, my toxic job. I couldn’t immediately change all that so I learned to harness the energy in that rage while working my way out of hell. Right now I’m finding that apathy is too close to the feeling of the drain of depression. That definitely won’t be true for everyone, and not even for me sometimes because clearly there was a time that living in a “DGAF” mindset felt perfect, but right now it’s worse because it’s paired with the stirrings of depression.
That’s really interesting and you’re making me look up the dictionary definition of apathy (“lack of interest, enthusiasm, or concern”). The apathy I’ve always tried to achieve is the “lack of concern” – I already have always had the lack of interest or enthusiasm, both of which completely have parallels to my depression. You clearly know what works best for you and are going for it. I don’t think I’ve ever been fueled by rage – it usually just burns me out. Maybe I’ll try that for a little while 😉 . Thank you for making me think. Between “DGAF” and “apathy” I think I need to write an essay on what I mean by both for my personal understanding 🙂 . Thanks again.
Super cool post as always, Purple! These are many of the realizations I’ve come to in my journey toward FIRE too.
I’ve been trying to decide if it’s Midwest nice or what, but I get very little negative feedback on my FIRE plans. Maybe since I’m hoping to FIRE in ten years, at 50, it’s early but not mind-boggling early like many of my FI friends online. Last week I met with the CEO of a quasi-governmental health care organization and he brought up something FI-ish, and I couldn’t contain my delight telling him all about my savings rate and FIRE plans. We only had time for a short interview so I told him we need to sit down and talk more about it soon! The chief deputy of our county shared a similar interest and turned out to be a reader of my blog. I sent him some links and offered to grab coffee to talk more about it some time. And most recently I was asked by a coworker to sit down with her and some of her ladyfriends to talk about investing. I love that I might share some of this in real life.
I’ve been reading a lot lately about how FIRE isn’t the answer and how slowing down and enjoying the journey instead of scrambling to FIRE. I agree with that – to an extent. I think you need to do your best to enjoy and build your life now. I think of FIRE not so much as something to get to but a means of stripping away some of the things I don’t want cluttering my life – mandatory work. I like to work. I like many different kinds of work and exploration, and I don’t want to be tied down to one kind of job I need to do in a particular place (kind of) at a particular time (again sort of). As I think your own story illustrated, you can only do so much. You can’t really eliminate the BS aspects of work until you hit FIRE. But I also agree it can’t be your sole focus – otherwise you get to the top of the mountain and there’s not much else to do.
As I said in a post a while back, FIRE isn’t the thing; it’s the thing that gets you to the thing. (Borrowed from Joe of Halt and Catch Fire (I’m sure they meant FIRE – ha!)
Thank you! And haha maybe it’s southern ‘charm’ then that’s kept people from saying anything negative to my face then. Apparently a few northeast people have assumed I’m a trust fund kid when my family member mentions I’m retiring at 30. Nope – sorry to disappoint your assumptions!
That is so amazing you’ve been able to make all those real life connections because of your journey and blog!! Sounds like you’re changing lives over there.
I completely agree with your nuances around slowing down and there’s a reason I put ‘slowing down’ in quotes because I’m not actually slowing down – I’m just not taking the absolutely fastest path. I’m still doing something ridiculous in a short amount of time and not switching careers completely to something I think I’ll actually find interesting on my path to FI or anything like that.
In contrast to you, I do not like to work 🙂 , but I completely agree that I don’t want to be tied down to a place, time or device (the email on my phone). And yeah Halt and Catch FIRE obviously needed to add the capitalization 😉 .
Funny thing is yesterday afternoon I interviewed the owner of a hair salon about their new, bigger location which now includes a massage place, and she mentioned plans to retire early, in about ten years. The interview went ten minutes and then we chatted about FIRE for another 25! Hmm, she’s my age, pretty and interested in early retirement – I might have found my dream woman haha!
I agree, there are two extremes and there’s always further we could push it, but it’s usually a good idea to find the happy medium. But I think getting rid of full time work without FU money is impossible for most of us, so FIRE seems like the best solution to find balance. It puts us in control, I think. I only wish it were coming sooner haha (Maybe it will though – it’s been hinted at that I will be running the place some day, so I would presume that would come with a bump in pay – or rather, it would have to in order for me to take on the role.)
Sounds like a good match to me! Are you going to go for it? I’m with you – and based on my journey (originally thinking this would take 10 years instead of 5) I think your timeline will speed up. And yes get that pay bump and run the show!
As you approach your magic date during this crazy stock market melt-up, consider having 2-3 years of living expenses in cash. There is nothing like having your plans messed up by a serious market correction, right at the beginning (of your retirement) .
Thanks for the tip. I’m going to have 1 year in cash when I quick and have lower cost of living places already mixed into my first year, such as Argentina and Thailand. Because of my completely flexible lifestyle I don’t feel the need to have that much cash, but I have heard many times that it’s a great idea for some people.
After finishing my medical training, I took about 7 weeks off before starting my full-time job. I was determined not to go into any additional debt (six figures was more than enough!), so I forced myself to save enough to cover all my expenses during the vacation. I didn’t have a ton of money to spend, so I took advantage of volunteer opportunities that gave me free tickets to theatre events and concerts, and it was an incredible amount of fun. It was really eye-opening to see how little money I needed to enjoy myself once my basic needs were met, and it’s a lesson I’ve tried to carry with me into working life.
While I spend way more now than I did during those seven weeks, I am still deliberate in my spending and try to ask myself if it will actually make me happy.
That’s so interesting and awesome that you realized you didn’t need a lot of money to have fun. That’s definitely a great lesson to learn early on. Love how deliberately you approach spending!
Your reflections tend to mirror many of mine. I’m constantly assessing and reassessing my choices. Some days I want to retire NOW. Other days I’m willing to work part-time for the long haul because I enjoy what I do. It all depends. But I’m curious to see what your experiences are once you retire at 30. And I agree that it’s the journey and not the destination, which is why I’m constantly reassessing to see if I feel deprived. The only thing I feel deprived of is time, not money or material things.
“The only thing I feel deprived of is time, not money or material things” – this needs to go on a pillow ASAP! Yes yes yes – completely agree. It all does depend on the day and the amount of nonsense I’m dealing with at work personally – which today is high and making me check my countdown clock 😉 .
Wow, what a great post, Purple!
One of your best for sure 🙌
Keep pushing for your last 8 months 😀
One of my best?! WOAH – thank you! And to think I almost didn’t write it – I’m glad I did. I’ll hang in there!
Agree with so much of this and great reflection! The journey really does get boring after that initial plunge in. Everything gets automated and you know exactly where all your money is going, you really have all the time to figure out how to make your life ideal in the present instead of waiting around for FI! I know my current pain points (commute) and hopefully 2020 brings some progress to eliminating that altogether!
YAS I love not having a commute so much. My thoughts around commuting did improve when I intentionally moved where I could walk to work in 30 minutes (often with my partner), but eliminating it all together is even better. Good luck on making that change! Also I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one that thinks the journey is boring from a finance perspective – very set it and forget it 🙂 .
It’s not that people don’t care, they all have a lot of other stuff to worry about. Everyone is busy with their own life. Right?
You’re right about trying to be happy while you’re on the journey. Rushing to the end doesn’t work unless it’s just a short time, like a year. Any longer than that and you’ll be stuck in unhappy mode for too long. Good post.
That is an interesting distinction! That may very well be it and that idea still combats people’s worry that others will care or somehow be offended by what they do. People may not care or may be too wrapped up in their own lives to care – either way let’s do what we want!
My cousin has always said “I can do anything for a year” and I personally have always disagreed with her. Even 1 year is too long for me to be miserable for the sake of a goal so yeah being happy on the journey is always key for me.
This is a great read for me. I am much older and would like to retire. The big opportunity for us is the health care issue.
I feel you on healthcare and feel lucky that my flexible lifestyle will allow me to basically avoid the US healthcare system at all possible. Hopefully we can fix that as a nation soon, but as it stands it’s definitely a huge concern. I hope you can retire soon!
Fantastic post, APL! It was a really cool read going back and fourth in time. It felt like one of those flashback episodes on NetFlix (I’ve been watching Suits lately).
I absolutely love this line:
“I buy literally everything I want. I’ve just taken the time to reflect on what I ACTUALLY want and that list is WAY shorter than I thought it would be when I started this journey because I took that time to reflect.”
This should be taught in school! If more people would take the time to reflect on what they truly want, a lot more people could reach FI without feeling like they have to make sacrifices.
Thanks for sharing!
So happy you liked it! I wasn’t sure about the back and forth time jumps so glad you enjoyed that part 🙂 . And ooh I’ve never tried Suits. Is it awesome?
Self reflection on happiness should absolutely be taught in school! You are absolutely right – our knee jerk reactions to change (mine included at the start of this journey!) are not great. Proper self reflection could help a lot of people and I think lead to fewer regrets as we get older. Thank you for stopping by!
Yeah Suits is pretty good if you like those kind of shows. Sort of a drama. I’d recommend it.
And the point you made is brilliant btw. You made it so clear when you said you buy everything you want. Self reflection could prevent a lot of waste and definitely fewer regrets.
This post is spot on! There are many misconceptions about FIRE and this post does a great job addressing these misconceptions. FIRE definitely isn’t about deprivation but it definitely is not the answer to all your problems. Great job!
Thanks Michael! I’m happy you think it’s spot on. Thank you for stopping by!
Really cool thoughts, Purple. I particularly enjoyed the “Time will pass anyway” and “No one gives a shit what you do” sections…truth and truth.
Everyone is passing through time just like you are, and they’re the protagonists in their stories, just like you are. Thanks for reminding us of that!
So happy you enjoyed it! Great perspective with everyone being their own protagonist. So true.
I recognize the picture at the top of this post from my very happy and all too long ago college days. Are you using that picture to slyly reveal another bit of your background to those who recognize it or it was just a random stock picture to use?
Haha I took that picture. I’m open about the fact that I was born and raised in Georgia 🙂 . Good sleuthing though!