I’ve noticed that this blog of mine is pretty dominated by worry and anxiety. That seems like a serious change from the other FIRE blogs I’ve read. This might be because I’m going through the initial phases of discovering this goal is possible. The other blogs are all written by people that have it all figured out and have already or are very close to financial independence. Another reason could be that I’m currently writing this just for myself instead of for an audience, which includes a large group of people that do not see FI as viable.Either way, I know this will be one of my largest obstacles. I over think, over plan and let anxiety lead me. I’ve been getting better at it by not letting work bother me anywhere near as much as it used to. As a result I’ve been sleeping better and become better at my job since I’m not frantic and anxious at work anymore. Another worry bubbled up the other day: the worry that I’ll do nothing in retirement. Understandably when I have a break these days it takes me days or weeks to wash off the routine and drudgery of office life. And then right when I’ve shaken it off I have to return to work.
My decompressing from work used to involve the opposite of work: mindlessness. I would watch comedy television shows that I’d seen before while browsing funny pictures on the web. Or cruise social media and text friends. Luckily my new step away from constant work stress has allowed my after work hours and days to explode with learning. I’ve been ravenous in reading all I can about FI, investing, the economy and even tax code since that season is quickly coming. My original worry was that I would default to decompression mode and use FI to watch Netflix and order take out.
But that is a ridiculous worry. All the energy and life force I use to make money at work every day will be free and available for me to accomplish anything I want. There will be no alarm clocks, no to do lists dictated by others. Just me and my life that I can do anything I want with. Once I give myself a while to wash myself clean of corporate nonsense I am confident that I will be able to live the life I want – whatever that may be.