I got my paycheck last night. It included a bonus. A bigger bonus than I anticipated. All of my concern that I didn’t feel excitement when I heard people get their bonuses unless they’re on an improvement plan completely faded away because I am PUMPED! I know lots of job search disappointments and life disappointments have conditioned me to not believe something until I see it, until it’s in my hand. And I think that’s what happened here. I didn’t believe I would get a bonus. I didn’t necessarily believe that new HR person knew what she was talking about. I didn’t necessarily believe that bonus was a part of my compensation package. But it is. And updating my spreadsheets last night was glorious.
Not only did I get a quarter of the $10,000 on-target bonus, but also received an additional half of the stretch bonus which will be another $2,500 of the $5,000 annually. I’m not sure where this came from since this bonus has been described to me as going above and beyond. I’ve done well this quarter, but I wouldn’t use that to describe myself. My partner suggested this might be simple profit sharing. If that’s the case I’m glad we’re doing well. I know we’ve been hiring like crazy, but that doesn’t necessarily mean we have money in the bank :). I’m glad it actually does.
So now I need to put my foot in my mouth. I shouldn’t be worrying if I don’t feel what I think are the appropriate emotions at a certain time. I already knew I was ‘broken’ in that way with regards to most things….but not saving money :), never saving money. Now I know: just wait for it. Don’t worry. And keep throwing money on that cash pile. To the next quarter!