In my last post about possibly becoming a recluse as a result of working from home I finished with a question: Why do I worry I’m not going outside enough? This question really baffles me. In NYC and Seattle I have a weird feeling when I’m inside during my free time that I should be outside, doing literally anything, even though I absolutely LOVE being at home. I love reading a book, sipping my tea and watching the hummingbird that moved into the tree outside our window. But I have this nagging feeling so at times I give into it and go outside to interact with people and do ‘something’…and life is instantly worse 🙂 . So what is this feeling?
I suspect it has to do with the fact that in NYC and Seattle I am living in some of the more interesting and diverse cities in the world and should be taking advantage of that. I should be experiencing what this city has to offer at all times because we are only here for a short time of our lives. There is an end date and after that date we most likely will not be staying in houses this close to the city. We won’t have this kind of access. But this feeling of FOMO is at odds with a logical fact: We are in these cities to work. We are here because of the high earning potential of these cities. We are not here to enjoy. We are here to work hard and throw money onto our retirement pile. Unfortunately logical facts are very rarely able to regulate my emotions. So I feel FOMO. I feel guilty that I often don’t WANT to leave the house. I absolutely love being at home. It’s my favorite place. Just chilling with my partner – laughing, cooking, creating, reading. It’s the best.
I need to push aside this feeling and remember why we are in this city. We can return whenever we want when we’ve retired. We’ll have more time (literally all 🙂 ) on our hands to commute into the city instead of living in the heart of it. I can experience everything I want to. And recover and recharge when I want to. I think part of this fear (from FOMO) is a worry that in retirement I won’t want to do anything or still won’t want to go outside or prefer to stay inside, but that’s silly for a few reasons.
The first is that there is so much I want to see and do in retirement. Yes there will be days when I read and cook and chat with my family, but there will also be days when we go cave diving and kayak riding and travel across the country on a whim. Secondly, I have proof. Funemployment. My last bought of funemployment was the longest I’ve ever had (4 months) and even though I was looking for a job I was always out with friends, experiencing new things. I used the time I would usually be at work to recharge and my friends were working so by the evening and weekend I was ready to roll! That’s what retirement should be like. I need to stop worrying and remind this FOMO feeling that I’m here to work. There is nothing driving me to go outside besides my own desire. If I actually want to go I’ll go, but I shouldn’t feel pressured by some abstract feeling. This stage of my life is about working. My days 9am-5pm are spent cranking and waiting for my clients to say “jump.” It’s tiring even during the low times when there’s not a lot of work. Being always on and always available is tiring, but luckily my days are numbered. I’m going to crush this FOMO and keep going through this working stage of my life.