My partner and I have a kind of mantra. At random moments we’ll yell “No marriage! No kids! No pets!” and high five. Part of our life philosophy is “No responsibilities.” I’m not sure where this came from exactly, but I’m so glad we’re on the same page. We love the knowledge that we can decide at the drop of a hat to travel or change plans and do it without issue. If we had to find a babysitter, pet-sitter or anything like that I would feel held back.
I don’t know if it’s my laziness or something else, but every time someone tells me they’ve bought something like a car, a house or a boat all I can think about is all those things require: maintenance, insurance and precious weekend time. I don’t want any of those things. I think of them as weights on my back instead of something to covet.
These thoughts might be linked to my semi-ADHD, love of change and understanding of baseline happiness. No matter what happens to people – good or bad – their happiness quickly reverts back to baseline. I know that if I bought a summer home I would quickly get used to it and require something new. That’s the consumer cycle. Instead of tying myself to a 30 year mortgage (that’s more years than I’ve ever lived by the way…) or a large immobile asset I love that I have the option to go to a different beach house every week if I want! It will always be new, different and not let me revert to baseline.
This philosophy has an unintended result of also saving us a RIDICULOUS amount of money. Renting instead of buying a house has saved us a large amount of money and endless headaches. When something breaks I email the landlord and it’s done. End of story. My costs are relatively constant and I can plan for them accordingly. If a bird flies into our window and breaks it I’m not out $10,000. Instead I’m out maybe a day without a non-broken window.
Instead of buying a car we save that $100/month parking fee (WHAT?! Yes. Truth) and instead spend less than $10 a month on Uber or a car sharing program. For longer journeys I’ve easily and cheaply rented a car with unlimited mileage. It’s so much cheaper and more flexible. Need a truck to move? Rent that for a week instead of paying $30,000 and $3,000 of interest because you didn’t pay for it in cash. Parking fees. Insurance fees. It all adds up.
Luckily we don’t really like pets and find it a little cruel to have them live in a small apartment in the middle of a city. But if we did like pets there are so many ways – especially in Seattle – to enjoy pets without paying for one yourself. We have more dogs than kids here. In NYC everyone asked us “WHEN were we getting married” and “WHEN were we having a baby” — how about “Never and mind your own damn business.” In Seattle people ask “WHEN are you getting a dog?” Same answer. All your friends need petsitters and there are lots of start ups like Rover that let you GET PAID to take care of pets that you choose through walks or even housesitting or coming to your place. You get paid to have a pet. That’s what I’m talking about.
I’m not sure we will always feel this way, but right now I am so glad about our way of life and what it has allowed us to do. The freedom is amazing.