I recently saw a thread on Twitter where someone asked for queer personal finance blog recommendations and I was surprised to see that some of my close IRL friends commented that they were bi. These are people I’ve talked to about everything and I was surprised to realize that in all those conversations we had never discussed our sexuality. I excitedly replied “Me too!” and after pressing send, I had a strange feeling.
I have never really talked about my sexuality on this blog for a few reasons that I’ll get into below, but after a spike of adrenaline after sending that tweet, I also felt a deep sense of belonging. I’ve known for years that I’ve found “my people” (as the phrase goes) in the finance community, but I had no idea that some of my friends and I are even more similar than I knew.
I’d found my people in more ways than I originally realized. People that seem accepting of everything – not just speaking about taboo money topics, but discussions of race, gender and sexuality.
After feeling this array of emotions, I decided that this is something I should discuss on this blog. One of the reasons I took my blog public was to provide an example of another perspective in case it resonates with anyone, and this is another way I can do that.
My bisexuality is not something I’ve mentioned on this blog before because I was still coming to terms with the label (…and because this is ‘supposed’ to be a finance blog…kinda? maybe?), but I think it’s important to share this aspect of my life in case anyone can relate to my words or if it can help anyone find their truth and peace faster than I did.
Label Generators
So let’s get into it! One of the reasons it took me until 30 years old to be comfortable with a bisexual label for myself is because I have a love/hate relationship with labels in general. I know they are useful to quickly get across ideas, and the human brain seems to love categorization because it helps us to more easily understand a complex world. But the world is complex and I often think that using labels for something as complicated as humans and human behavior leads to inaccuracies and misunderstandings.
Take the word retirement for example. I’m a nerd and I love a good dictionary entry. The literal definition of retirement is “a withdrawal from one’s position or occupation or from active working life.” It’s basically a withdrawal from active work (though what is passive work exactly?…like passive income? but I digress…) This is the literal definition of retirement, but that doesn’t seem to accurately describe actually retired people.
It’s anecdotal, but every retiree I know does something that resembles ‘work’ and gets paid for it. My parents own a rental property. Our retired FIRE friends all seem to have fun money-making projects going like owning a co-working space or selling custom wood creations.
I have never personally met a person who fits the stereotype of retirement that we have of playing golf or sitting on a beach all day. I’m actually not even sure where that stereotype came from…retirement community ads? No idea.
This is setting aside the unfortunate situations of people being forced into retirement due to their age who then need to work to supplement social security payments and make ends meet. So whether through need or want, retirement doesn’t seem to actually include a withdrawal from an “active working life” – maybe withdrawal from a traditional career, but not anything that resembles “work.”
The definition of retirement doesn’t seem to accurately reflect the people that word is describing. My partner has a theory that the cultural meaning and implications of words or what everyday people THINK a word means, is the definition of that word (I’m sure there’s an actual term for this – if you know it, please tell me in the comments). He thinks the definitions of words shift with cultural perception, which makes sense, but also frustrates me because in the case of retirement, it’s perpetuating inaccurate stereotypes and causing confusion – especially when that word is used to describe early retirees.
So I have a problem with labels. They seem to put people in boxes and not accurately represent the complexity of human experience. And for me, that extends to labels that describe my sexuality.
A Sexuality Spectrum
In college, one of my male gay friends introduced me to the idea that sexuality is a spectrum that everyone sits on instead of 3 buckets (straight/gay/bi) that you have to fit into perfectly. And that made so much sense to me. Ever since I started reflecting on it in my younger years, I’ve been attracted to men and women.
I assumed that that’s how everyone felt – that everyone was attracted to some (even minuscule) extent to both sexes. As a result of that assumption sexuality being a spectrum made sense to me. I assumed that someone saying they’re “straight” meant they’re attracted to their opposite sex like 90% of the time…but upon reflection I think I was projecting my experience onto other people 😉 . Everyone’s experience is different.
If I was forced to label myself during college I kept myself in the “straight” category because I am attracted to men about 60% of the time compared to women – which isn’t 50/50 so I wasn’t bi…right 🙂 ? In retrospect I was such a bloody nerd trying to bring percentages into this.
Anyway, reflecting on all of this and why I was hesitant to label myself as anything other than straight, led me to some deep thoughts that revealed where my hesitation was coming from…and unfortunately it had nothing to do with percentages or where I fit into a sexuality spectrum. Let’s take a trip down memory lane.
A Fear Of Additional Discrimination
I’ve dated a total of 4 people during my life, but I count my partner as my only real relationship because the others were done in essence, out of a fear of homophobia and a desire to blend in (as much as a black woman surrounded by white people can anyway…). I grew up in Atlanta, GA which is a progressive city by southern standards, but when I was growing up, it was far from ‘woke’ (and we still have a ways to go).
In middle school, my fellow students started asking people “who do you like?” and when they asked me I had no answer. I hadn’t felt attraction to anyone IRL at that point in my life, but after I answered “no one” one person responded “What? Are you a lesbian?!?!”
Unfortunately in early 2000s Georgia that was meant as an insult, not an actual question. This is a little ironic because I was going to an all girls school at the time and the stereotype for some reason was that we were all gay anyway – I would have expected a more open discussion given that background, but instead the reaction of my classmates seemed to swing in the opposite direction.
So to avoid those kinds of assumptions and questions, I got my first boyfriend. He was a random dude and honestly I don’t remember his name. We went out for a few weeks, I think, until I couldn’t keep up the charade anymore and I broke up with him on Valentine’s Day. Young Purple didn’t have a heart…
Then I dated two other guys that I didn’t really want to. They asked and I said sure. So reasonable *facepalm*. I was keeping up appearances and each time, after a while, I got fed up with my lies and abruptly ended it. I kept vacillating between “I need to appear ‘normal'” (whatever the fuck that means) and “I need to stop doing things I don’t want to do because of societal pressure.” But every time I swayed to the latter sentiment, something pulled me back.
For example, I went to visit a friend in Puerto Rico during high school. We had met during a pre-college program in California and she invited a few of our friends to come visit her home. I had never been to Puerto Rico and was super excited. One night we went out for dinner in Old San Juan.
My (female) friend had brought her girlfriend along as well as our friends from the states. We had a lovely dinner and then took to the dance floor. While we were dancing, my friend kissed her girlfriend. As soon as she did we were told to leave by the manager. I was shocked and angry, but my friend wanted us to just go, so we left. That was the first time I had seen blatant homophobia – the denial of service – because of who someone loved.
My hometown of Atlanta may be in Georgia, but I had only experienced misogynistic or racial microaggressions and discrimination personally, not anything related to relationships or sexuality. But, regardless of the origin, the fear of vitriol is always there.
For example, I was bracing to hear racial slurs when I brought my current (white) partner to Georgia for the first time. We held hands while walking around downtown and surprisingly (to me) no one said anything. I didn’t notice any strange looks. Still, the fact I was even bracing for it pisses me off, but I’m getting off track…Discrimination is bullshit is my point.
After that trip to Puerto Rico, I went back to the states and stayed with my final (fake) boyfriend instead of breaking up with him immediately as I originally planned. Pretending only lasted a few more months until I couldn’t take it anymore and broke ties with him as well.
The Real Me
After that break up I focused on my school work, got into a badass college and made a decision. I promised myself that when I went away to college a thousand miles away, that I would start over. I would be true to myself and not make life decisions based on peer or societal pressure.
In college, I joined our Queer Student Union as an “ally” (who are you fooling girl?!? *eyeroll*) and hooked up with whoever I wanted. I was (and am) attracted to both sexes and didn’t worry about what that meant. I kept going through the thoughts “I’m 60% straight?…I’m queer?…I’m…me? Fuck if I know.” I didn’t concern myself with labels and just lived my life.
Then I met my current partner. We danced around each other for about two years until I realized – yes, I really wanted to be in a relationship with him – not because of societal or peer pressure, not to have a “beard”, but because I wanted him in particular. So we became a couple and we’re going strong 11 years later.
Unlike my race, my sexuality isn’t written all over my face. I can hide it and ‘pass’ because of my male partner, but that’s just not being true to myself. It’s living my life out of fear of how others will react and that’s bullshit. I’m an outlier in many ways that I have accepted or even taken pride in (a black woman with purple hair in an interracial relationship who is retiring at 30). I don’t want this to be any different. It’s part of who I am.
So, I’m bisexual. It’s been a long road to get here and accept this about myself and wear this label proudly. To be honest, I’m still working on fully living the last part (because: stupid society…), but I hope if you’re out there trying to accept any truth about yourself this helps you know you’re not alone.
To end on a lighter note – I want to put this on a t-shirt: “I’m Bi and I’m FI.” Happy Pride Month🏳️🌈!
Have you ever had trouble accepting a truth about yourself? What did you do to accept it?
I enjoyed this post. At a time when I (a white woman) am reflecting on my own understanding and realisation that I have accepted systemic racism and not done enough to be anti-racist, your post really made me reflect on the sexuality blinders I also have on. While I obviously understand there are many bisexual people in the world, I clearly still view sexuality as mostly binary – I assumed you were straight because your partner is male. I need to do better and while I agree labels make things a little easier, I need to be more aware of the assumed labels I am placing on people. Thank you for the eye opener!
So happy you enjoyed it! Yeah sexuality blinders are real and I have them myself – I also found that I assumed someone’s sexuality based on their current partner so I’m working to change that about myself. And anytime 🙂 .
As usual great post, purple! Love everything about it and your blog. Your vulnerability gives other people courage to do the same. Thanks for putting yourself out there. 3 months left!
Thank you so much! Doing my best 🙂 . And yes 3 months, 3 weeks and 3 days today, which is pretty cool looking!
Hi Purple,
Labels are efficient, and I don’t think the problem is with the label per se, it’s the assumption people then make about the label. Like, a can of corn is the label, efficient and descriptive. We don’t then say, prejudicially, that can of corn is WRONG!
Hi Kathleen,
Good point! That seems to better articulate my problem: the labels themselves serve a purpose of simplification, but the assumptions tied to those labels can be problematic. “That can of corn is WRONG” lol!
Me too! Nice to read from another purple enthusiastic, people loving, financially interested lady! 😉
Woohoo – our ranks are growing 🙂 !
Thank you so much for this post and sharing.
I can relate so much to the part about who you liked in middle school. When I moved and went to a new elementary/middle school, I remember multiple people asking me who I liked. I hadn’t really put it together but I didn’t have any sexual attraction to women.
My parents thought I was straight for a while because I was so obsessed with Mariah Carey and Lady Gaga. Ha!
Unfortunately, when I came out to them, there was no response for my dad and a simple 6 word text from my mom that she’d always love me. Especially being single, it’s like a painted over, not talked about part of me with my conservative parents.
It still stings a bit when clients ask about my girlfriend, wife, or how many kids I have. I don’t ever deny being gay, but it’s very challenging to live as yourself in a work setting based on client relationships.
I’m not sure why people have such a difficult time understanding that sexuality is a beautiful spectrum. People are all different and unique. Happy pride!
Of course Nate! Sounds like we should have hung out in middle school to stick it to these peeps making assumptions 🙂 . Youngins (or anyone) doesn’t need to know if they like someone or who they like. Back off people!
I’m sorry about your parents’ response. And my your colleagues sound nosy! I assume it’s because I’m in a liberal bubble in Seattle, but I’ve never been asked that – about my partner or with any language that assumes the sex of who I love.
I’m not sure why it’s difficult to understand either, but it does seem like understanding is spreading throughout the world over time, which is awesome. Happy Pride!!
Thank you so much for sharing!!
Thank you for listening!
One of my kids identifies as bi.
It’s all good.
Cool! It is indeed all good 🙂 .
I love you so much 🙂
Bi and FI – BOOM
🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈
Love you too dude 😉 . And BOOM lol – *MIC DROP*!
This made me so happy to read as a fellow bi lady in finance! Unlike you I didn’t realize I was bi until post-college (before that my reflection consisted of “oh I’m attracted to dudes? Cool, no need whatsoever for further introspection”). Looking back it’s obvious I’ve always been bi, but actually acknowledging that is a completely different experience.
Also, I feel discussions on sexuality absolutely have a place in personal finance. Your employment opportunities and professional relationships (and by extension your career progression and pay increases) can be negatively affected if the wrong person has biases about who you are. I haven’t encountered anything like that in my current workplace, but I still hesitate about opening up just in case. Or also to avoid my coworker friends “helpfully” pointing out cute people at mixers and going “you should date them!!” – wouldn’t put it past em!
Heyyyy you too! Me too! 😍
THE HYPE TRAIN CONTINUES!!!
“There are dozens of us! DOZENS!!!” 😉 That’s so interesting you didn’t poke the idea until post-college! Acknowledgement is indeed a different beast. Looking back my thought process of “Yeah I’m attracted to guys and girls, but mostly guys so I’m totally straight…yeah that makes sense” is pretty silly lol.
You’re completely right – sexuality discussions definitely have a place in personal finance in my opinion – as does everything that affects our money, which is the whole gambit of human experience (race, gender, sexuality, nationality etc). I was just making a little joke about this being a finance blog – it’s not, that’s just my cover 😉 .
Coworkers need to mind their own business lol, but I understand your hesitation. I was worried when my partner and I started using that terminology 5 years ago. I was interviewing for jobs and mentioned “my partner”, realized that most instances of that phrase are used with same-sex partners, worried people would assume that and discriminate against me and then smacked myself over the head for that fear. It’s legitimate and that discrimination does definitely happen, but that’s part of me not making decisions based on fear anymore. So now I say it proudly and let people assume what they want.
I really enjoyed this post. Read it a few times. I wish the world would just let go of labels so we can all live our lives. Oh well, not sure that will happen anytime soon.
BTW, BI and FI sounds pretty badass 🙂
A few times?!?! WOAH – high praise! So glad you enjoyed it. I do understand the purpose of labels, but yeah they might have surpassed their usefulness given how much confusion they seem to cause. I’m not confident that will happen soon either, but we can be part of the change! I’m going to start explaining everything in long sentences instead of shorthand/labels and see who tells me to hurry up and get to the point and stop being nuanced lol.
And yeah those t-shirts are happening 😉 .
Dr. Suess said it best: “Be who you are and say what you feel because the ones who mind don’t matter, and the ones who matter don’t mind.”
Stay real always.
Perfection! I love that quote 🙂 . And will do!
well ok then. more options are always good. i don’t like to put people into boxes or categories but encourage them to do so for me. go ahead and think what you want. i’ll be over here not caring.
I barked out a laugh at “more options are always good” – they are indeed freddy 🙂 . Love it and love your attitude. I will also be outside of a box not caring.
It’s great you can be yourself. Does this issue ever come up at work?
I imagine it’d be more difficult if you live still live in the south.
Be well.
Yeah I’m happy I finally landed here. Less internal conflict is always good. And it does come up at work in a strange tanjential way because I call my boyfriend “my partner” which people usually assume means same-sex partner otherwise I would say boyfriend or (if married) husband. So that’s been fun at times when I’ve been talking about my partner to colleagues for years and then they meet this giant dude (which reveals their assumption). I was originally worried about using that terminology before we moved to Seattle because I assumed it would lead to discrimination (I was specifically job searching at the time and mentioning “my partner” on the calls), but then I realized I was bending because of fear again and stopped that in its tracks.
And yep – another reason I left the south as soon as I was legally allowed (actually a little before – I was 17). And thank you! I hope you and your family are well too!
I saw that thread on Twitter. It made me so happy for all of you discovering each other!
[Insert multiple Spidermen pointing at each other GIF here] 😉 . That thread was awesome.
Awesome post! Congrats!
Thanks for writing this. I’ve always struggled with labels, too. I feel like if it helps the person embracing the label, I’m all for it, but I don’t love taking them on personally.
Recently, I’ve recognized that if I had grown up just 9-10 years later (say, when you did), I would probably have struggled more with questions of gender and sexual identity because it was more acceptable and encouraged to do so. I struggled a lot with my identity as “female” because the first time I ever connected strongly to being female was as a mother. And even then, that has more to do with loving my kids and the how my relationship to my body was changed with pregnancy & nursing than the traditional stereotypes of mothering. However, I wasn’t trans because I didn’t want to be male.
I just wanted not to have to think about gender like most men do (ah, privilege). Is this an identity? For me, not that important. It’s just me, living my life.
Thank you! Yeah I’m still working on the labels for myself haha. Totally down for whatever other people want to do. That’s really interesting your experience being a mother changed how you thought about things. And ahhhh to have the privileges of a cis white man – if only lol.
Hey, this is an awesome post. I’m so glad you shared. Sometimes I wonder if more ppl might be on a different place on the spectrum if the constructs we have been given were different growing up. I’m full on GenX, so there were also the good and bad labels attached to the two choices.
It’s anecdotal, but every retiree I know does something that resembles ‘work’ and gets paid for it. I know I only internet know you, but I don’t have any work or even a rental property. Cash comes in at least in my opinion, 100% passively. 🙂
To be clear – good and bad labels attached to the only two choices I and most in my cohort were given.
I got you – don’t worry 😉
Thank you! And that’s a great question – I would imagine so. If there wasn’t so much hate and weirdness around this stuff I imagine people might come to different conclusions – and hopefully before 1/3 of their life is gone like me lol.
And thank you for the anecdote! I will change my perception accordingly 🙂 . We got a ‘real’ retiree over here people 😉 !
lol, to be clear, I’m not the retirement police. I just think there are a lot of ppl like me around, but none write blogs and probably don’t spend as much time on the internet as I do (I need to dial that back). It can be done, I promise! Funny story – I retired in mid 2017, but I deferred income into 2018, so I still got a W-2 and all that. This year was the 1st year I got to file taxes without a W-2 and it was fun. (should I file that under things only FI people say)
Totally! I was serious about shifting my perspective. I know a few early retirees (my parents) that don’t have blogs or anything like that and they were previously my barometer for non-content creating retirees. I’m just adding you into that mix in my mind.
That’s super cool about your W-2 – and yeah that definitely needs to be added to the list of what FI people say 😉 .
I missed the thread but I’m glad you found more of your people! How fun <3
Gender identity was nigh on unheard of it our family culture. Homosexuality was MAYBE hinted at with a bit of a weird face and bisexuality wasn't even something I knew existed until much later. I hope that we do a better job of being open and welcoming with this generation!
So fun! Agreed on doing better. I do see the world moving in an improved and more open direction, but we obviously still have a ways to go.
Thanks so much for sharing. While I’ve been making a concentrated effort to follow more people in the FI community who are not white dudes, I realized that I still follow mainly straight people. I want to do better and hear from more diverse voices.
Of course! Thank you for reading. And I’m with you – constantly trying to make my intake (in blogs and any other media) more diverse. It’s definitely worth the extra thought 🙂 .
Yet another great (and vulnerable) post that totally ties in with exploring the world and seeing things in an expanded way (aka differently). I’m with you – I don’t believe when people claim to be 100% straight, but maybe I’m just projecting. I like your use of percentages (I’m probably 70% into men and 30% into women, but never looked at that way before). I say this as a married woman who had very few relationships. The bell curve made sense to me when I learned about it in college. I loved applying it to sexuality, and I wish people could relax about judging other people about it. Like you said, it’s not written on your face.
Thank you 🙂 . I was nervous to share, but glad I did. That’s usually when I know I definitely need to hit that “publish” button. Haha I thought I was projecting, but if you agree hmmm – a large scale poll is needed! And nerds gotta math am I right 😉 ? I love bell curves – that’s awesome. “I wish people could relax about judging other people” -> 1000%
So glad that twitter thread lead to this post! We too were on the fence of starting our blog because “not anotherrrr FIRE blogger” but since we are a lesbian couple who reached FI in your 30s we decided to go for it to try to help others in the LGBTQ+ space relate to someone in a similar sexual boat. It’s really all about community and if there are people reading who are part of the LGBTQ+ community I’m sure they will have a new found bond with you 🙂
This is cool. We need diverse voices from different backgrounds and experiences. If I can help you out, please let me know. I have an interview series which you may find fun: https://www.1500days.com/10-questions/
Agreed and 10/10 would recommend his 10 Questions series (not even for selfish reasons 😉 ).
Yeah Twitter is pretty magical sometimes 🙂 . I didn’t know you hesitated to start your blog – I’m so glad you went through with it!!! It is indeed all about community 🙂 . Thank you for stopping by!
Happy Pride Purple. Was great to read your story and your coming out experience.
Happy Pride! So happy you enjoyed it 🙂
Your fairy godmothers send you a big sparkly hug.
YAYYYYY!!!
Thanks for sharing something so personal. I’m not sure if I’d have the courage to do that in the same situation.
I hope you’ve filed trademark rights for “I’m Bi and I’m FI” !
Haha fair. It was definitely nerve wracking doing this, but I made a promise to be completely transparent so here we are 🙂 . And haha on the trademark idea – I think I’m happier with that being public domain. I don’t need the money anyway 😉 .
Two words: Great post.
Thanks for writing it.
Oh, shoot. Now it’s six words. No, wait, 18 words.
Stupid math.
Hahaha I love it 🙂
I’m with you on labels. I’ve had a strong dislike for them since my early teens when gays were fighting for acceptance. It was the early 90s, so things were quite different but quickly changing. It annoyed me to no end that they were more of a label than human beings. As a young kid, I couldn’t figure out why labels mattered more than character or who they were as human beings. At nearly 41, I still struggle to understand why labels matter so much, but to most of society they do. To me, the person still matters most. My friends are my friends regardless of label. But BI and FI has a particularly nice ring to it! 😉
Agree 100%! Labels can definitely break a person into parts and make it easier to lose the human underneath. And haha yeah it sounds pretty cool 🙂 !
I dig this article for a number of reasons. First, I too spent many years just assuming everyone was pretty much attracted to every gender and it was just a matter of how much, rather than if at all. Second, I big thing about my queerness that I have been screaming about is how it exists fully within me and really doesn’t define that much of my personality. People expect me to solely talk about my queerness as if once your queer that’s the single foundational aspect of your personality 😒
I also feel you on the beard situation. It’s funny because for a while I was scared that I was only queer to add to my ~cool girl~ aesthetic (from like 14 layers of societal and internalized inception) but then when I didn’t feel pulled to non-binary gender identification I knew I was legit! Ridiculous but true.
I’m so happy you dug it! That’s so funny you thought the same about everyone being attracted to every gender – I have yet to have someone tell me I was wrong about that after writing it actually so it might be true?
What people expect you to solely define yourself by your sexuality? Just curious. I haven’t encountered that before personally.
That’s so interesting. My Mom has always knows I like guys and girls, but apparently attributed the latter to a ‘phase’…like can a phase be 3 decades or 100% of your life? I didn’t ever actually consider if I was trying to be cool/edgy just because of the huge amount of discrimination and often threat of violence that embracing these labels comes along with. Even if it’s cool the ‘downsides’ are sadly numerous so I never considered that a factor myself. That’s awesome you figured out that wasn’t the case. And we’re all ridiculous 😉 .
My parents are still in the “calling it a phase” phase as well.
Honestly, the people who expect that are the ones who define themselves by ‘external’ traits, but ironically enough tend to have bland traits to work with. I’m not sure how to explain it, but like think of the type of person who latches on to having a black friend or a gay friend and manages to craft an entire personality around that.
Siiiiiigh. That’s an interesting observation – sounds like people who might be hiding something if they’re latching onto those slightly problematic external traits…
Great post <3. We love ya lots and lots.
😍😘😍😘 Thank you! We love y’all to the moon and back.
I hate labels too. It always seemed normal to admire women’s bodies. All media encourages this, so I never really explored that side of myself until after splitting from my husband at 27. Then after a few failed relationships with women, I’ve taken a long break. Relationships are a lot of work. Being single works for me, but I think I’m more of an outsider now than ever, as people wonder (aloud sometimes) that something must be wrong with me. We all have our own paths. Thanks for this post. I love the variety of your insights.
Right?! I thought society agreed that women are objectively beautiful lol, but maybe I’m projecting again. Completely agree relationships are A LOT of work. I (not so jokingly) told my partner that if we break up I’m done with relationships. I’ll hook up with people, but not do the whole relationship thing again for that exact reason. I’m with you.
What kind of rude people would say that to you?! WTF I’m so sorry. That’s some bullshit. Obviously there is nothing wrong with you. We don’t need romantic relationships to validate us as human beings. Yuck.
Thank you! So glad you enjoyed it.
I would jump on that T-shirt idea before someone takes it. It’s a very catchy line, and you can always add an “I hate labels” sticker collection for irony! Seriously, gutsy post, and while I hear you about labels, I also think it helps people, especially in historically underrepresented groups, find each other.
Haha it’s all good – I’m way too lazy for that currently. Maybe one day – hopefully there won’t be a serious legal battle over it 😉 . That is an amazing sticker idea! Thank you and that’s a good point – 1 point for labels.
Thank you so much for another awesome post. Growing up in a conservative Asian society, it’s not common to meet others in the LGBT community, and even though I’ve been with my girlfriend for 6.5 years now, being queer is still sometimes painful, lonely, and I struggle with it a lot. Thanks for letting us know we’re not alone. You’re awesome. 🙂
Thank you Liz 🙂 . So happy I could help just a little bit. You’re not alone.
I’ll definitely take one of those shirts, Purple!
I’ve just been going down a rabbit hole reading some of your older posts, and just wanted to say hello 👋as another all-girls-high-school’d, queer / bi, on-her-path-to-FI, liberal arts-educated humxn from Chattanooga, TN!
Thanks so much for sharing your story. I’ve been so inspired hearing about your reason behind writing A Purple Life, i.e. representation. I’ve been in the FIRE world since 2012, but one of the silent kids in the back, observing. I’ve thought more recently about sharing my own story for reasons similar to Court @ Modern FImily. Anyways, you’re an inspiration, and I’ll continue reading. Cheers!
Hi Hannah! When I get around to making the shirts I’ll let you know 😉 . Thank you so much for leaving a comment – they make my day. And oh wow you’re reading old posts? I’m scared to do so myself haha. That’s so cool that we’re similar – southern gals and all!
I’m so glad you’ve been enjoying it – Wow. Thank you. I was a lurker myself for years haha. If you want to I think you should definitely share your story! We always need more diverse voices out here. I hope you’re having a great day!
I might take your advice on that one. I’ve bought no less than 10 domains over the years thinking about starting a blog. My background is in marketing + content design as well, so it makes sense to use my professional toolkit to build my own platform. Something’s just always held me back. I also turned 30 this year 💃🏻 so maybe it’s time in this new chapter!
Woah 10 domains! That’s 9 more than I’ve ever had haha. Sounds like you’re ready to me! A marketing/design background will help a lot too. If you’re looking for someone to push you off that ledge I’m happy to help 😉 . Taking my blog public was the most rewarding decision I’ve ever made in my life (please don’t tell my friends and family haha). I wish I had done it years sooner. Congratulations on turning 30!
“Im BI and Im FI” I Love it! Just wanted to throw in my 2 cents and thank you for coming out. I strongly relate to your identity and love your blog!
Hi Sly – Thank you so much for saying that! I really appreciate it 🙂 .