I had it all planned out. I would be at lunch with my boss. The sun would be shining, we would be laughing and after enjoying a lovely meal together, I would drop the bomb:
Purple: So I wanted to chat with you because this is my notice. I’m retiring.
Boss: Uhhh – how old are you?
Purple: 30 š
He would be shocked and confused. This unexpected news would open up a dialogue about his own retirement plans (he’s about 3 years away from retiring in his 50s) and what we’re both doing about our finances. And that would be the start of a beautiful, real-life friendship š .
At my final monthly company meeting, it would be announced that I was not leaving, but retiring. People would turn their heads to look at my (lurking) presence that usually inhabits the back of packed meeting rooms. I would wear a small smile and someone near the front would yell, “HOW?!?!”
Then the emails would roll in “Can I buy you coffee and talk finances?” I would finally be able to talk about my nerdy hobby with all of my coworkers. In my final days at the company, I would take off my professional mask and show the real me: a purple haired weirdo who wants to spread financial literacy in a world where it’s a top three taboo. It would be blissful…but that was just the fantasy.
Besides the obvious issues of not being in a room with other people for the last 7 months or for the foreseeable future (thanks COVID), over the past year, my plan for how I would quit my job has done a complete 180.
I was originally going to be completely honest about, well, everything. I was going to give my reasons for leaving – that I was retiring at 30 – and be willing to explain how I did it in case anyone asked. I was going to (hopefully) start a discussion about finance and bring it out in the open within my company.
I would be an example of another path that people could look to – whether that’s as a weirdo that will likely soon be eating crabs under a bridge š or someone that rode happily into the sunset. I was going to show my true self in the hope that it might help others.
But the days when I planned to show my true self were a different time. It was over a year ago when I still believed in my company and the people it was hiring. Since then, our leadership has repeatedly shown that despite claiming to be all about people and transparencyā¦they donāt actually give a shit about either.
This was revealed to me in how they handled the multiple microaggressions against myself and other POC at the company, their lies and cover up regarding paying women less for the exact same work and generally by promoting and protecting toxic managers.
And sadly, it was not just leadership. When I joined my company, I was in awe of everyone that worked here. They were the smartest and friendliest people I had ever worked with. The company also happened to be 95% female š . But with growth comes change and as we grew there seemed to be a strange emphasis on hiring…well, mediocre white men if I’m honest.
Mediocre white men who also cannot do their work and care more about their ego than what we’re actually paid for. And with this shift in my colleagues came a shift in the culture overall – one that extended across gender lines.
For most of the men and women at my company, it was no longer about lifting each other up to do our best work, but about tearing each other down to make yourself look better. And honestly, I want no part in that.
Instead of happily daydreaming about chatting with my coworkers about money and helping them improve their finances, I shifted to not caring about them at all. The few gems that remain here are actually my close friends and they all know I’m retiring.
I’ve also helped many of them create financial improvement plans of their own, but at large: I no longer care about my company and have no interest in putting myself out there to help selfish people in an increasingly toxic environment.
In fact, given all the ways our company has started to take advantage of us and began to expect that we work 24/7 (example below), I expect that if I had been honest and said I was retiring early, someone in leadership would demand that I hold a workshop (that they of course would not pay me extra for) to teach them how to do the same.
UPDATE: Now I'm working on Labor Day…this feels particularly ironic. #Pissed #TheFinalCountdown pic.twitter.com/tye3hiKaZx
— A Purple Life (@APurpleLifeBlog) September 7, 2020
So, given all of the above, Iād rather sneak out in silence. The 10% of the company that are my friends are all aware of what Iām doing and how they can do it too. Thatās a good enough legacy for me.
Have your thoughts on the company you work for ever changed drastically? How so?Ā
Congratulations on your retirement. It is amazing how company culture can change with new hires. I have worked in a company that also had a culture change after experiencing growth and it took some time to see cracks in the armour.
Great to see all your previous planning made you able to move on as some do not have that luxury in life. Toast to the next life chapter.
Thank you! It is really wild. I’m happy the company stayed amazing for 3 years – very surprising and the best company I’ve ever worked for overall š . Cheers!
If you havenāt read Ribbonfarmās The Gervais Principle series, I highly recommend it. It uses The Office to explain his take on corporate organizational theory. Without getting into it too much, most middle management falls into the āclueless classā (Michael, Dwight), promoted for their loyalty and usually inability to seriously challenge those at the top (sociopaths).
I have not – adding to my library ebook list now! And oh no – think that the Office is at all representative of real life is…depressing…
I donāt blame you one bit. Legacy isnāt just about work. You are changing lives online every single day, and that is special! That is legacy!
My boss follows my blog. Lol, I guess not being anonymous has its challenges. But my boss is also cool about it and comes to me with financial questions which is cool. She knows Iām only there for a few more years, and as far as I know, that isnāt an issue.
I canāt wait to see what your real name is once you make the reveal. I think you should start a betting pool. š
Purple is actually named Purple. That’s the big surprise. š Actually, for safety and transparency sake, she’s going to stay anonymous, although there are (more than) a few of us who know the real answer. I still want her to legally change it to Purple!
I agree Josh, she should change her first name to Purple. Her government first name is a beautiful one though š
If you’d like to get into this and do the paperwork for me I’ll make it happen š …and thank you š . I’d keep my first name and just change the middle or last (I don’t really care about either).
Josh you are PROMOTED to my PR Director! I hope to provide your raise of one additional IRL hug per day in person sometime in the relatively soon future š . You are 100% correct and as I’ve said, I’m happy to change my middle name to purple if I don’t have to do the paperwork…
You make great points š . And oh my! That’s so interesting – I can’t imagine my boss following my blog. That’s awesome she’s cool knowing you’re not a longterm employee. As for my name, I’ll defer to my PR team below š .
Sorry things aren’t ending in the positive way you’d originally envisioned, and that much more glad for you that you are able to get out soon! I’ve worked in a number of schools and seen the culture shift (both for good and bad) – it’s usually the result of a new principal or a dominant teacher personality retiring. I thought I’d teach forever at my first school, but a new principal and the voices he chose to elevate (also mediocre white) changed it enough that I was ready to walk.
No worries! It’s all good. I’m sorry you’ve seen similar culture shifts. It does seem to be a delicate balance in any workplace.
I think its admirable that you went into a company, worked hard and really cared for the company and your coworkers. The truth is that the company has no feelings and sense of what is right or wrong. You work hard and then look around and see who is getting rewarded and say to yourself, “really that person?” When in actuality that person provides no real value. When your heart has left the building it is best that the rest of your body follows. Also, whenever anyone leaves no matter how hard he or she works and cares about the company, after 15 minutes it is like they were never there. Congrats on your freedom. Enjoy.
Yeah I didn’t expect that honestly. My Mom in her 35+ years in corporate america has never worked for a company she rooted for and I felt privileged that I had found one. Agreed that companies have no feeling or moral compass. All true – preach and thank you!
You came to the decision in a suboptimal way, but it’s the right one. “Companies” don’t owe you anything, so you don’t owe them. You need to look out for #1, and until the very second you actually retire (or leave the company for any reason), there’s always the chance you could change your mind. If you told them early and then had to stay, even if they let you, who knows how it would negatively affect your career there?
Then there are just crazy tricks of life.
After I’d worked a few years at my first job, I decided I wanted to go to business school. Once I was accepted to the school of my choice, I let my boss know, so that he could hire a replacement, and I could help train that person. I really liked my boss, and we are still good friends 26 years later. I thought it was just the right thing to do.
About a week before my planned departure, well known to everyone – including human resources, the company decided to downsize the trading desk and laid off more than half of the department. It sucked for everyone, and my pre-planned going away lunch turned into a going away lunch for a whole bunch of folks.
You might think my timing was good. Not so fast.
Everyone who was laid off got a nice severance package. I got nothing, because they already had me in the system as resigning.
If I’d just put that money in an index fund from 1994 until now…
Agreed – they owe me nothing. I’m sorry that happened to you – that’s wild. Ugh obviously try not to think about that other path since it’s not what you walked down. I imagine that’s difficult though.
Sometimes it’s just better to separate your personal finance life (the fun one!) from your other life outside of it. I’ve found out the hard way. I’ve tried to have conversations with people including family and friends about personal finance outside of my usual realm of PF folks. Though, it’s really not the same. And a lot of times, there’s a lot of challenges when talking to people who are not on the same level.
Interesting to hear about your experience with the company you worked for. I think at first, we’re all excited when we get hired on to a new company and have a new job. Though, a lot of times it usually dwindles with disappointment when it becomes too corporate like and indifferent to its employees. I’ve experienced the same thing.
Thanks for sharing your experience! I enjoyed the write up. š
Agreed. This was the first company that made me think it MIGHT be ok sharing my real self, but they quickly showed their ‘ass’ š before I could do that. I’m still totally open with all my friends and family and they come to me when they need to and I’m happy with that.
Fair on the new hire syndrome – this just happened for 3 years so it was a little passed that for me. I usually am ‘in it’ after 6 months and ready to leave. Anyway, so happy you enjoyed it!
I relate to your description about how your feelings about colleagues changed as leadership changed. I also understand your choice to keep knowledge of your retirement plans restricted to a trusted few. At this point, if others wish to learn more about financial capability, the information is a google search away. It makes it more real when someone we know is pursuing a similar goal. At the same time, soon-to-be ex-colleagues may feel intimidated to broach a conversation with you if they don’t already know you well. Your blog is a more accessible source of information and inspiration than a departing workplace acquaintance. Congratulations again!
I’m sorry you can relate and that is very true about finances though I have been told several times that people aren’t “like me” as in they don’t just google and fix their life and that they need an impetus – not “my” problem, but something I think about. Fantastic point on the blog being more accessible š thank you!
Sorry to hear things went downhill over the last year. Is it because the company just got bigger? That’s too bad.
I only told 2 of my closest friends that I was retiring from my career. That’s enough. Most of my coworkers are just colleagues. They don’t need to know or care.
I think 10% of the company knowing is a huge amount. You’re a better people person than I am.
No worries and possibly. They seemed to have the perfect formula, but they said “we want to be 2x this size next year” and everything went to shit. And you are too sweet Joe – I’m not a better person š , but this company did have a strangely large number of awesome hang ons š .
Very awesome for you to share. I have seen my share of the same in my last big company, the largest beer company in the world. Toxic culture. No boundaries. As a senior multicultural marketing manager I got exposed to some amazing experiences and traveled all over. I met famous people and was part of insane events. I wouldn’t trade a FIRE day with family and friends for any of that life. I shared about FIRE with a few and impacted a handful of people in the process. I now live a life that most of them can only wish for!
Glad you enjoyed it! I’m sorry you experienced that toxic culture and am so glad you found a life that works for you!
How unfortunate. The amount of ego-driven self promotion in the guise of “self development” is one of the many ugly realities that I don’t miss at all. Enjoy your retirement.
It’s…so fascinating š . Will do!!!
That’s too bad the company changed so much over the last year or so. I probably would have done the same thing as you. I can totally see why you didn’t tell your work about your retirement.
Yeah it was solid for 7 years (3 of which I was involved), but the time came I guess š .
I gave my bosses notice that they needed to find someone else to run their company. I wasn’t mad at them, it was their company and they could run it the way they wanted, I had just stopped enjoying how things had become. That’s not how things had been most of my career and if you’ve got more money than you’ll ever spend already, what’s the point of staying in a less than ideal environment? I left under friendly circumstances with parties and dinners and lots of hugs and handshakes. I still consult for those guys sometimes, it’s fun again because I don’t work for them like I did before, I’m now insulated from all the parts I didn’t like and they are only one of many clients. I don’t need an income but the mental challenge and social aspects add to my quality of life. Congrats on achieving lift off!
Sounds like you carved out a sweet section for yourself. Agreed – if you don’t need the money, why put up with it? And thank you!
Oh girl, when I joined my corporate job over a decade ago, I drank the corporate Kool-Aid and embraced their core values. It was small enough but growing quickly (startup). People mattered more than deadlines. Leaders who people trusted were valued.
Then leadership changed. Metrics ruled, people became “resources” and my respect for the company dwindled rapidly. And then… the company got bought out was effectively sold off for parts. Luckily, I was able to leave and become semi-FI (I manage rentals, so some say I don’t qualify as full-FI :D) when the stress got ridiculous. The company I was proud to join became a place I was ashamed of. I’m so glad you’re on your way out. I’m convinced this corporate way of life is tied to chronic illnesses.
And sharing the financial details of my exit was… interesting. I chose to keep most very close to the chest, but shared with those that seemed genuinely interested. I was surprised how much fear others had around not working. “Work” means security to so many and that’s tough programming to undo. But there are a few I still keep in touch with and can tell they’re building passive income. It makes me smile š
Fair – I did the same. I felt all amazing with my $7 Starbucks cup stomping around the office at 10pm with my blazer on. It was wild. And yeah – same change here except they didn’t change the “messaging” and as MARKETERS didn’t expect us to notice…siiiiigh….I’m glad you were able to get out and only share the money info you wanted to! Work does indeed seem synonymous with security in an interesting way.
It makes me sad that youāve had a tough last bit of work. Culture at work is a delicate thing. Unless good culture is actively pursued, it erodes over time.
Iāve always had a good experience at work and Iām hoping I can find passion in some type of work for a long time. As toxic people left my office, the culture became smoother. Although Iām not as close with people, I feel more respected and more passionate about what I do.
No worries and agreed on all counts. So glad you’ve had a good experience! That’s amazing toxic people left š . You got this!
Everything about you is so inspiring. Thank you for all your insights and your bravery.
Thank you so much – that is so kind!
Yep my opinion of my current company has plummeted over the last year. I realized they are all about only promoting and hiring white men. I recently was denied a job because a ābuddyās son wanted itā so he got it. He has no experience. My manger told me in the same week I found out about the job that women shouldnāt work but should stay at home and take care of their kids. Iām still in shock because what is an women without kids supposed to do? This is after he asked if I thought a female could do a specific job. I said yes why wouldnāt a female be able to ?!?! They offered The job to the white male with no experience who ended up declining (pay is terrible). They then offered to the female with experience (never expecting her to accept because sheās a female). She accepted. My manger had no clue what to do.
Yep Iām ready for something else. Obviously. I thought it was just a southern thing but reading this I question it. I figured working with more females would help. I guess not.
The only diverse place Iāve ever worked was the federal government. Maybe thatās the route I need to go back to.
Ugh I’m sorry – that’s a ridiculous situation to be in and your manager said WHAT?! WOW. It is sadly not a southern thing. I grew up in the south (GA), but have worked in NY and WA and this shit is prevalent across geographies unfortunately though I haven’t heard anything as blatant as what your manager said. Anyway, I hope you find an out soon – good luck!
I just came across your blog, and noticing the pictures of locations in Seattle and the Olympic Peninsula saw a third commonality with my situation. As of 9/18 I just retired.
I will say I’m a bit older than you, but not quite old enough to still get confused (virtual) looks and comments from people.
I also had somewhat a similar approach of concern with my company – I felt there was all downside and no upside to telling them about retirement plans early; and even though I’ve been in detailed planning my retirement steps since 2018, it was only after labor day that I gave two weeks with the “I’m retiring” statement in the email. When asked, I wimped and said the plans came on recently due to re-thinking in this covid-world.
I was likely a bit over-paranoid, but if I had to do it again I would still do it the same way.
In what I can see of your case, you were totally right in reading the culture-signs of your company. I’ve found in my life that companies can be held to the same truism as people – watch what they do, not what they say.
Congrats and kudos – this is a large step and you deserve a huge high-5 for your path.
Congratulations on your retirement!!! Sounds like you did what was best for you – especially if there’s no upside I see no reason to share that business with an employer š . So true on that truism! Thank you so much!