Life can be a bit of a nightmare 🙂 . And it’s in those hard times that we (myself included) cling to comfort items. Personally , I wrapped myself in my softest and fluffiest blanket and drank tea out of my favorite mug. It was my version of a Louboutin shoe – you get a peak of red depending on what’s in the cup 😉 .
Third time’s a charm! Thanks so much @Vanguard_Group for offering to send me new cups when my post person (I assume) seemed to enjoy throwing 2 of them from the truck towards my front door resulting in broken handles. I'm excited to spice up my morning coffee game☕! #Fanguard pic.twitter.com/8tGC2QYjhu
— A Purple Life (@APurpleLifeBlog) February 13, 2020
I would make myself into a burrito, drink my tea and at times add some dark chocolate to the equation in case of emergency. I went to external objects for comfort. However, now that my partner and I are ‘homeless’ nomads that travel full-time without a home base, turning to those comfort objects is no longer an option.
Carrying a blanket and very fragile coffee mug is not a sustainable choice for nomads that move every month so I chose to let those things go and was curious how my coping mechanisms would change. I found that being a nomad can take away everything that distracts, confuses and comforts, such as:
Status Symbols
If what makes you feel good is walking into your multi-story closet that houses a variety of clothing and jewelry, I’ve got bad news for you about standard nomad life 🙂 . Though I guess you could try #VanLife and just have the whole thing be a closet… 😉 .
In order to whittle my stuff down to carry-on only levels, I got rid of everything except my most practical beloved items. I now have one hoodie and for practical reasons, it’s not even the nicest one I owned. I no longer have a completely different outfit for every single day. The same comfy pants will make multiple appearances.
I got rid of my jewelry because the added weight didn’t seem worth it. Everything that would (at times) make me feel fancier and helped me raise my head high, has been left in the dust by choice. And after doing that, I realized what role those things had in my life and how that need is no longer there.
Comfort Items
As I mentioned, there were a few fluffy and delicious items I would turn to in order to comfort myself in my previous life. My favorite blanket and mug would help get me through tough times. However, as a nomad, it’s not practical to bring those things with me everywhere I go – so I’ve had to adapt.
Instead of using my blanket and my mug, I get to enjoy a blanket and a mug. The details of which change in every Airbnb we’ve been to, but all of the places we have stayed have had them (I can go on a tangent about how some Airbnbs are set up for longer stays at a later date…). I’ve adapted and found comfort where I could, even if these are not the items I know and love.
There is hygge to be found everywhere and it’s not in having my things, but having any comfort items at all – hot tea on a cold day, a snuggle with my partner, a warm blanket in the middle of the night. As a result of nomad life, I have been open to finding these comforts anywhere – they are not linked to my specific ‘stuff‘.
What Makes Me Feel Better In Nomad Life?
2020 taught me this lesson, but it hit home even more now that we’re living our nomad life: You cannot rely on outside factors to make you healthy or whole. You have to provide that for yourself. So here are the things that I turn to for comfort in my nomad travels:
Myself
A lot of my goals in retirement have revolved around being a more calm and complete person. Removing the fog and constant distraction of work helped me see who I actually was as a person and gave me room to decide where I need to improve and grow and then actually focus on that.
As a result, I think I’ve grown more in the last few months of retirement than I have in years while working because it’s been a focus of mine and I’ve had the time to reflect and adjust accordingly. Being happy with myself and striving to be better every day has made me happier with who I am and in turn, also allowed me to be the place I go for comfort.
If I’m in a difficult situation, I don’t reach for external stimuli to calm down – I close my eyes, take a deep breath and know that I’ve got this. I give myself the ultimate comfort.
My Loved Ones
Another very important place to turn to when times get tough are my loved ones. Be that my partner who is usually physically with me or others through a phone or video call. People get me through stressful times. If something awful happens, I get a hug from my partner and call my Mom.
Even though I did truly enjoy some of my possessions, staring at them or wearing them have never given me the level of comfort that a hug or phone call does. When I was striving to purchase those items, they felt necessary to my life, but after they’ve been removed, I realized that feeling was an unnecessary illusion.
Conclusion
That’s what I think is actually important to keep us sane in this world: ourselves and the people we love, not status symbols or comfort items that can be thrown in the garbage. This all seems to reinforce the truth that the most important thing is actually time – time on this earth and with the people you love.
Exploring this through the lens of nomad life and the comforts it removes, drove this idea home and made me want to talk about the things that are actually important to maintain: People, not things.
What are your comfort items? Do you bring any when you travel?
here is some contrast for you. i like being at home. we own the fortress and really enjoy being there and it has taken years to get all the mise en place the way we want it. i’m glad i travelled some when i was younger but nowadays a week away with our trusty dog is enough.
my favorite wine glass awaits at home. in a way i’m happy to realize we should not try to live someone else’s ideal.
i’m glad you’re enjoying it.
That’s an awesome contrast! Though didn’t I read that you bring your wine glasses with you when you go on vacation *eyebrow raise* – I kid. You do you. Sounds like you’ve built a lovely life over there.
This is exactly the kind of thing I think about. Work structures our lives and distracts us so much, so what happens when you remove it? When you have time to focus on just yourself and your personal growth? I guess you have to go through it to know.
I want the nomad life so much, but after this pandemic and wfh experience – importantly, wfh in my own apartment, alone – I’ve realised I love having my own space with my things. There’s a simple joy in pottering around cleaning and organising and being in a space. However, perhaps that’s a joy which can be replicated in other places 😉 Great post! Thank you as always for sharing your thoughts and journey.
That’s awesome the pandemic helped you figure out what you like! Personally I find more joy in other places because of the variety, but as we’ve established – I’m weird 😉 . I’m so glad you liked the post!
Love the purple slippers! Keep living the life!
Haha yeah they’re comfy and will do!
Very true, if we are content with who we are, then things fall into place. Love this perspective! I do have to say, this year, you honestly have inspired me to speed up my “retirement!”
So glad you like it! And I’m not sure if it’s a good or bad thing that I inspired you to speed up your retirement 😉 .
Great post! When we travel, I purposely leave some routine things like my shampoo or my favorite tea bags, etc at home. I want to use what is available in the new place so I can feel the change in its fullness.
When we were slow traveling in Europe for a few months, I started using local stuff. Like buying my toiletries from Boots or wearing a jacket from a German brand. It certainly added to the experience because I felt immersed in the culture.
That’s an interesting experiment! Awesome to know buying local helped enhance the experience.
“You cannot rely on outside factors to make you healthy or whole. You have to provide that for yourself.” So very true. Cheers to you living your best life.
Thank you 🙂 !
I’d love to be a nomad for a while. It’ll show me what’s important in life.
I just feel so weighted down with everything right now. Unfortunately, Mrs. RB40 loves being rooted. Once our son goes off to college, I plan to do a lot more solo traveling.
It is pretty sweet I must say. It fits my personality better than I expected. And that sounds like an awesome plan! I solo travel often as well.
Hi Purple 🙂
I’m a long time reader but this post is right up my knowledge-alley so I thought I’d (bashfully) leave a reply.
My hubby and I left to be digital nomads in 2018 (propelled by some complicated/tragic life circumstances). I kept my work (as a simultaneous interpreter) for income but we started a rock-climbing travel blog because we are obsessed with it.
We spent the first two years abroad traipsing around (France, Spain, Italy, Croatia, Austria, Czech Rep, Romania, Hungary, Greece, Indonesia, South Korea, Thailand, Cambodia, Malaysia, Vietnam, etc) … but returned to the US when COVID hit last year and have been nomading around the US since then. Our travels mostly revolve around rock climbing locations. 😀
We sold everything and left with two 45L backpacks, one climbing gear bag, and two laptop-sized backpacks. We initially stuck to anything/everything practical like “functional” clothes (like merino wool), didn’t bring any beauty items (like nail polish), and stuck to “safe” colors (since I’ve been known to spill food a lot…).
After the first six months (and four or so countries), we realized that we don’t need to be so strict and efficient if there are things that bring us consistent moments of joy. They don’t have to be something we carry around with us everywhere, but we can allow ourselves to have a version of it no matter where we are.
For example, we decided not to forego coffee mugs of a certain size or a white tee-shirt (lol). It’s become our little ritual to visit a vintage/thrift shop in every country/city we visit to obtain some of these “comfort/joy” items. We then donate the items when we leave.
….then there are some non-negotiable items we actually do carry around with us because we realized that we just NEED certain items and sometimes it’s a pain in the butt to find the ones we like (ie, a really good/sharp kitchen knife & non-stick pan, and fun nail polish – just to name a few. 😉
Hi There! Thanks so much for sharing your story 🙂 – that sounds like some epic travel! That’s a really cool idea to visit a local thrift shop and acquire new comfort items. And all fair with the non-negotiables lol – we do travel with our sous vide machine and a noise machine 😉 .
We are just a couple of weeks away from celebrating three years of full-time world travel and nomad life and this completely resonates with us.
I would add to your list that being a nomad also helped us being grateful for the little things in life, testing the true foundation of our relationship (these past 3 years felt like 15 years), or realizing how privileged we’ve been to be able to reach financial independence (FI).
And we are still learning a lot along the way about what life means… We probably would have never grown so quickly without being exposed to nomadism + FI.
Congrats on 3 years! And those are some great additions 🙂 . I look forward to learning those as well.
I literally just has an interview earlier today with someone who worked for 7.5 years and took a 1.5 year sabbatical before going back to work. I don’t think he was immersed in the FIRE community, I think he just did it because he was burnt out.
I refrained so hard from asking him about that experience because I didn’t want to look like I was trying to achieve FIRE, ha!
You definitely have time to regain your identity back from your work and make your identity yours when you break free from work.
That’s so cool! I’m kinda sad you refrained haha. But yeah – there’s time to form a new identity. I guess I was lucky that I never made what I did for work a part of my identity in the first place so that wasn’t a problem when I quit.