I look around and see no one with the life I want. I refuse to live 45 years of my life like this. Following the instructions of a faceless company and an alarm clock. Having my company tell me when and how often I can see my family. Having a certain number of days when I do not have to be in a cubicle. Feeling stress over creating ads no one wants to see. Attending award shows created by the people who want to win the awards – a circlejerk. Pretending I care if a spam email deployed a day later than we said it would. Feeling stress that this ‘mistake’ will reflect poorly on me – even for a second. Pretending any of this matters: title, social status, perceived wealth.
I refuse for this to be my life. So I’m changing it.
There’s nothing better than watching sunlight filter through leaves onto a hardwood floor. Sipping your beverage of choice while wind whispers through the windows. Sitting with people you love.
I want retire because my life is working (workdays) and recovering from working (weeknights and weekends). There is no room in that cycle for the life I want. And perhaps it is my fault for choosing a career where I interact with people all day that completely drains my introverted core – and at rare times invigorates me with creativity. But it’s also what I’m good at. It’s well paid work that doesn’t involve extra schooling or skills.
The human brain does not seem particularly adept at cataloging time: the uniqueness, the new experiences. Ever since I stopped journaling daily I have been recording my life through pictures and reviews that I upload to facebook, but I realized that there are a lot of things that mark my year that are not seen in pictures. So I started an annual list of accomplishments: what new experiences I had and how this year was different from any other. Let’s check it out!