When I look around I can tell that I’m different from other people. Some have even told me so. I’m not sure if they meant it as an insult, but I didn’t take it that way. When I look around even a less consumer city (compared to NYC) like Seattle I see people in name brand coats with name brand bags wearing the same name brand boots. They like to talk about the other name brand things they are planning to buy while decked out daily in jewelry and make up.
I’ve never been like these people and I know the reason for that is my Mom. I’ve mentioned how I learned from her that jewelry and make up are wastes of money. It might be said that our natural beauty helped us not need any *hair flip* – as you know, black don’t crack. But seriously, I’ve never understood the appeal of fancy jewelry. Personally I would either lose it or worry it will be stolen. What’s the point of wearing a $10,000 ring on your finger that requires hundreds of dollars of insurance monthly (this is a true story) and has no resale value (I’m looking at you diamonds aka the greatest marketing scam in history).
I never understood wanting to wear a lot of make up because when I saw someone without it I thought they looked sick. I was so used to their done-up face that seeing them normally make me think they were ill. That’s messed up. So I avoided both. I own jewelry, but it’s of the “$5 that I picked it up at a street market” variety. So when I lose it or it breaks it’s not a big deal. Make up wise I wear some eyeliner occasionally. It costs me $10 a year.
There are other objects that people claim they cannot live without that I learned from my Mom are not big deals. One of those is shoes. When I lived in NYC I tried buying shoes that looked nice. They were quickly destroyed by the amount of walking that we did in NYC and the dirtiness of the streets. I quickly learned my lesson. Throughout her career my Mom wore two pairs of shoes: one in the summer and one in the winter. Done. When we do shop for shoes and clothes in general it’s about quality, which does cost more at purchase, but lasts longer and costs less in a lifetime.
Other areas I’ve learned to optimize: weddings, presents and holidays. Both of my mom’s weddings were relatively cheap. She eloped once and the second time had the wedding in a small church with only us kids in attendance. Don’t fall prey to the wedding industry’s marketing nonsense. It has nothing to do with what a wedding actually is: legally binding yourself to someone else 🙂 . For presents my Mom declared when we were 18 that there would be no more presents. And I was completely fine with that. I do not like surprises and at 18 was more or less an adult so if I really wanted something – like the original iPhone during my spendy days – I saved up and bought it. Done. For some reason the holidays have also become a brainwash fest. People think the need to deck out their entire house in lights, throw around wreaths and have huge Christmas trees. We rarely even celebrated Christmas really – we were too busy relaxing on a sunny beach. When we did celebrate it was for the steep price of a $25 tree. Done. I don’t feel the urge to decorate my space based on the season and when I do I do if for free with things my office is throwing out most often.
Overall my Mom has taught me that keeping up with the Joneses is stupid and I knew intrinsically that it doesn’t make you any happier. People know how I like to live my life (without the things above) and they say I’m living like a pauper. I don’t feel that way – far from it. And it’s these same people that freak out and ask how in the world I’m on another exotic vacation fit for a queen. Do the math 🙂 . I think in my head: “If you spent less on things that don’t make you happy you could do it too”. Overall my Mom has created an awesome foundation that has helped me not waste a huge amount of my money and I am so grateful.