I’ve always been bad at sleeping. For some reason I think of it as a waste of time. Yes, I know my body needs it to survive and have experienced what I feel like sleep deprived: Horrible :). But my brain still thinks of the (hopefully) eight hours I lay in bed as a waste. Despite most likely running on solar power I almost prefer the night. It’s so still and empty of people :). Finally quiet enough to think and reflect. It’s when I’m most inspired and alert. Going to sleep right when I start feeling that at night seems like a waste of time and by extension my life. Sadly there’s no way around it.
My mother only sleeps 4-5 hours a night, usually not at the same time and she’s always been like a perkier, nicer version of me. I don’t know how she does it, but whenever I’ve tried existing on less than 7-8 hours of sleep I’m basically useless at work and less emotionally stable. So I will sleep on.
Other than always having this weird feeling that sleep is a waste of time I’ve always been colossally bad at it. As long as I can remember I’ve never been able to just lay down and fall asleep when I’m supposed to. When I try I just lay awake or toss and turn. So since I could read I’ve been reading until I literally pass out to be able to sleep. As you’d expect this causes me to fall asleep much later than I’d hoped (especially if the book is good!) and usually awaken with pages or a cell phone on my face :). Strangely when I share a room it’s a little easier to go to sleep – maybe because I have back up to keep ghosts at bay? Maybe it’s because I used to sleep in the same room as my Mom as a kid. I’m not sure.
Now for the good news! Since I’ve been eating more fat this has almost become a non-issue. Instead of becoming my most-awake self at night, since I changed my diet I’ve been getting sleepy at night – usually starting when the sun goes down. No more afternoon slump, but a natural progression that seems to track with the sun. It’s been getting darker later and later every day and I don’t start to feel this way until the sun is well and truly gone. When the sun sets at 9pm and rises at 5am in the summer this should get interesting :). I’ve been getting sleepy with the sun and by the time bedtime rolls around I’m ready! I’ve even wanted to push up our bedtime lately. So far I’ve been unsuccessful. By the time my partner is ready to go to bed and it’s lights out I’ve been passing out and usually awakening in the morning (if not quickly at night for a bathroom break before passing out again). It’s like time traveling magic!
I’ve never slept like this. I’ve never had my head hit the pillow and awaken in the morning. It’s always been a struggle. It really does feel like magic. I hope this keeps up because I’m loving it. No longer do I read something to try to go back to sleep in the middle of the night only to accidentally watch the sun start peeking through the curtains. Unfortunately this hasn’t been the case for my Mom, but with her being retired and for over 10 years able to subsist happily on little sleep I’m not too worried. She already has a superpower. To many more nights of restful sleep!