I received a bit of a shock last week. My Mom is applying to jobs. She’s been retired for 2 years and left corporate America at 55 after working 30 years in jobs she hated. I was more shocked to discover she’d been keeping this from me for a while. That was the saddest part. She thought I would yell at her. I didn’t.
My Mom has always loved lavish vacations. We recently talked about what our ideal day would be. Hers revolved around being served and just doing nothing and relaxing on a beach. I asked if that’s something she would get sick of eventually and she said no. My ideal day involved waking up, becoming inspired and being able to go wherever my heart takes me: on a spontaneous road trip to see all the National Parks in America, to the coast to frolic in the ocean, on a flight across the country to see a friend just because I feel like it. I want that freedom. My Mom wants luxury. And understandably that luxury isn’t cheap. She originally worked an extra year to save for a few lavish vacations that we’ve just finished including Thailand with family. I didn’t agree with that either 🙂 , but it’s her life.
What she seems to look forward to the most is luxury vacations and she had a few planned for the next couple of years, but now she wants to add more. And financially that is a slight problem. I’m all for doing what you want to do, but going back to work to pay for 1-4 week-long vacations seems a little crazy to me. Let me explain why: She could completely go on all these vacations and then some if she waits 2 years. That’s when they start to receive social security and on top of what they have saved they will be good to go. She could also still go to these additional places right now, but cheaper by traveling more slowly or staying at less luxury hotels. When I chatted with her she didn’t want to explore those options and gave the reason of ‘time.’
Since time is not guaranteed in this world she doesn’t want to wait 2 years only to not make it and never have gone and regret it. I had the counterpoint: what if you die while you’re working? What if you die at the end of that working year and you’ve just inadvertently spent the last year of your life working and doing things you hate (commuting, office politics etc.)? She said she hadn’t thought of that.
Our most important resource is time. It’s finite – unlike money. I think that’s why trading your most important resource for more money sounds crazy to me. Especially when you can wait a little while, still enjoy your life and then get to do whatever you want anyway. It’s not like the places she wants to go are disappearing like the Great Barrier Reef or sinking like the Maldives. There is no time limit and this is a big, beautiful world we live in. There are lots of things to see in the meantime.
Another critique I have of this plan is that Mom seems to still be planning vacations like she’s working anyway: fly from home to a place far away in Business Class, stay at an expensive resort for a week and then fly home. That’s acting like you have a set amount of time off when you don’t. Instead there are cheaper ways to get to and explore these places.
If it was me there is no way in hell I would go back to work for a year to pay for something I would get anyway if I apply a little patience and enjoy my retirement in the meantime. I know I have a cushy life with working from home in my pajamas all day and the kind of work we’re talk about is far worse:
- Commuting 2 hours a day through Atlanta traffic, which is bumper to bumper no matter the time and is ranked as some of the worst traffic in the world
- Actually working in an office and showing up in stuffy, ‘professional’ clothes
- Office politics
- Performance reviews
- No time for you: This might be me, but when I’m working I’m always thinking about it. I literally can’t shut it off. Evenings, weekends, you name it. Time is literally never my own. I hate it, but maybe I’m unique in this
There is nothing on this earth that would make me go back to that once I was free (if I had a choice like My Mom does). That cliché phrase “I could do anything for a year” seems like someone trying to convince themselves of that fact. I could not do anything for a year. I know that. I couldn’t even live in Europe for 6 months without friends and family before realizing that I prefer having people on the same continent with me. I couldn’t work at my first job for a whole year because it was so toxic. I can’t do anything for a year. It seems like everything is a trade-off between money and time and I personally choose time.
UPDATE: Shortly after our discussion my Mom stopped looking for jobs. Reflecting on this time with her a year later she says “Yeah – I don’t know what I was thinking!!” Since the above discussion I also convinced her to move to Vanguard and save $10,000 a year in useless advisor fees. Now she has all the money she needs for her fancy vacations 🙂 , even before social security.