A Boss Who Listens

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When I took my current job I knew what I was getting into. I was told that my client was “difficult,” but that didn’t concern me. That was the descriptor that has been given to literally every client and company I have worked with except the last one (though now that someone else is working with him they are calling him “difficult,” which is inexplicable to me).

I’ve always had difficult clients. I’m not even sure what an easy client would be. I’ve worked with some of the largest tech companies that also just happen to be on lists of “hardest to work with as clients.” It’s just the way of my world. I’ve never said anything but “Yes” and “Of course” to my bosses in the past. If they ask me to do something, I do it – early in my career with enthusiasm and as I slowly inched closer to FI with less enthusiasm, but still the willingness to help out and an upbeat spirit. I just don’t overplay it. I’ve never told my boss that I dislike a client or how difficult a client is making my life. I’ve never complained. I’ve never said I don’t want to do something or I can’t do something. I’ve never told the truth before. It never seemed worth it.

At my previous jobs no matter what happened we were told to shut up and deal with it. It wasn’t our bosses problem. Fix it yourself. All that changed at this job. Since my very first day my boss has made it clear that I’m not alone. When I started working as I’d always been taught: just go and run with it, he said I should slow down and involve people because I was not a burden and they were there to help me. Shocking. My boss has also always promoted open and honest communication. In fact everyone at every level of this job has always told us whole truths – not that employer bullshit they usually spout.

It was this revelation and the prompting of a fellow colleague and friend that made me realize if I have a problem I should speak up. I knew what I was getting into with this client. She was known for being difficult, hard to manage and all over the place. I would check in every week to try and get ahead of the work we would have and properly plan my time. She would always say there’s nothing and then often something would pop up randomly that was needed that very instant. She would email throughout the night and weekend and text if she didn’t get a response – even if I was asleep. I would provide exactly what she asked for and she would ignore it, not even say thank you and instead ask where was this other thing she never asked for was. She always made me feel like a failure no matter what I did or how hard I worked. Even though I was delivering everything we agreed upon and always within the crazy timeline allotted.

After working with her for about 8 months I started feeling my old stress indicators within my body. I was jumpy, scared to look at my phone and email every time I got a notification. I wasn’t sleeping well. I was drinking heavily on the weekends to try and forget what the next week would bring. All of this was familiar. I had felt all of these things in Manhattan. And I had moved to Seattle partially to get away from that kind of toxic work environment that is more or less accepted there.

So I told my boss the truth. Luckily our contract with this client was also winding down and I said that I would prefer to not work with her again. Originally this wouldn’t have been a problem because he promised they would not renew the project on that basis. He mentioned how employee health is of tantamount importance and we can fire any client that jeopardizes that. I asked if we could really fire her because she was friends with the CEO. He said “Yes – absolutely.”

Unfortunately that was not to be. Even after agreeing not to renew our CEO spoke with her alone and agreed to do more work – half a million dollars of work. I felt a little betrayed, but told myself to wait and see what happened. Even if none of this changed anything I would have tried. I would have spoken out for myself.

My boss and I got on the phone and he explained the new project and how it would be different. I told him I still did not want to work with her. When he asked why I gave him all the reasons and despite him telling me that she appeared to be a changed woman and this year looked like it would be very different I stood my ground and said that while I hope that’s true I would prefer not to work directly with her. He asked if I would be willing to still do the work, but not interact with her. I conceded to that. The work is actually interesting and helping me grow – it’s the actual client that is the issue. So I waited to see what being behind the scenes actually meant. Would I still have to deal with her crazy requests or would that be tempered by a buffer person and a more planned out deliverable list? Would I still have to deal with her cryptic emails and feedback? I waited to see.

It turns out the answer to all of that was no. My boss gave the entire project to someone else. I have offered my background knowledge to her and so far she hasn’t really taken me up on it besides asking my opinion on an email she was writing. I have no interaction with the client and no responsibilities on the project as of this moment. I got exactly what I wanted and all I had to do was be honest. What a novel concept 🙂 .

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