I’m a little over 4 years into my early retirement journey. I have less than 2 years to go and I’ve found myself becoming impatient lately…which then leads me to mentally berate myself. I have 2 years left instead of 39. That’s amazing and something to celebrate! But alas, my heart doesn’t feel it.
I understand that striving for a goal over many years can be difficult. It’s hard to focus on unnecessary conference calls when I’m less than 2 years from being able to go anywhere and do anything I want without having to fill out a PTO form and ask my boss for permission.
So I’ve come to a strange conclusion: Being 2 years from retirement feels harder than being 10. When I started this journey I thought I had 10 years to go. I optimized everything I could and then adopted a set it and forget it mentality. A decade seemed like a long time to my 25 year old self, but I knew the time would pass anyway, so I kept trucking.
I didn’t find myself daydreaming about retirement and salivating at it constantly like I do now. I think that’s because it seemed so far away. It didn’t seem ‘real.’ When I started this journey I had accidentally accumulated $50,000 in my 401k and my goal was to accumulate 10x that. It seemed like a fantasy.
But now I sit here years later having watched my net worth steadily increase with each paycheck. I sit here having a plan for basically every month until I retire. I sit here constantly dreaming of my future because it feels real. It feels close and tangible and not at all like a fantasy.
Instead of mindlessly tackling my work tasks, a voice in my head whispers that I could be on a beach right now instead of inside staring at a screen. I could be spending time with my loved ones and exploring the world instead of updating this spreadsheet for the millionth time. And that is NOT helpful. I haven’t hit my numbers yet. I haven’t served my time yet. I can’t retire yet.
This voice has led me to be more dissatisfied at my very cushy job because I’m playing the “if only” game. It’s not a productive way to spend my mental energy. So I’m going to change it! This is my life for now and possibly for longer than 2 years depending on what the market decides to do. I need to be ok with that. I need to focus on the now and not wish months of my life away.
So here’s what I’m going to do:
- Stop Playing The “If Only” Game: I’m not retired. My time is not my own – yet, but it will be soon. I need to accept that this is my life right now. If that voice in my heads starts whispering after seeing a last minute flight deal to Paris, for example, I’m going to ignore it. I can’t go to Paris right now. I’m working.
- Revel In Aspects Of Retirement I Do Have: As I’ve become more confident at work I’ve been taking more and more advantage of the benefits of working from home. One of those is increasing the number of weeks I work from elsewhere to see friends and family. I’m leaving in a few days and will be surrounded by the people I love for 3 weeks while I work. Being with them is my #1 reason to retire early (yes even over beaches…and I love beaches) so I’m going to soak it in and enjoy that aspect of retirement that I can have now – at least for a few weeks of the year.
- Celebrate The Milestones: I can’t retire yet, but every day and every paycheck gets me a little bit closer. Instead of focusing on how much time I have left, I’m going to start focusing on what I’m buying back. I calculated that for every day I work I’m buying back 14 workdays from a standard career ending at the normal retirement age. At the end of each day I can celebrate that I only worked 1 day instead of almost 3 weeks.
So there you have it. I started this post trying to figure out why I was feeling impatient and somehow made a game plan out of it. An unexpected, but sweet result! Let’s see if this plan helps me become more patient in my journey.
How about you? Have you ever found yourself wishing for time to pass to reach your goals? How did you combat that?
So are you going to pull the trigger at 500k? It is very tempting to fall prey to “one more year” especially if it looks like it could add significantly to your safety factor. I stayed one more year, twice, and made the equivalent of four years extra pay. I’m still not sure that was a good move even though I put most of that in my investments. I really had no need for that money. And you are right, those year’s kind of sucked because my motivation was awful.
Yes indeed that’s the plan! I’m definitely a candidate for OMY syndrome so I’m locking myself into the plan a year in advance. I write about that here: https://apurplelife.com/2018/07/08/planning-to-pull-the-early-retirement-trigger/
Staying an extra 2 years and making 4 years of pay is amazing! Good to hear you might not have done that in hindsight though. I haven’t heard that before. Also good to hear I’m not the only one having an issue with the last few years. Thank you for stopping by!
When my life was a little more settled and I had more clearly defined goals, I was exactly like this, too. Living in the future instead of the present. Daydreaming about what that future would be like, sort of ignoring everything else. And then reality took me for an unexpected turn and now I don’t know what my goals or my plan is anymore. But you sure do make this whole FIRE thing sound tempting!!
So you’re saying I should have less defined goals 🙂 ? Kidding. I know what you mean. Having big future goals can definitely pull focus from the present. I’m not sure how to find that balance between having them and living in the now though. Working on it obviously. And glad I can make FIRE sound tempting even while discussing a possible downside 😉 .
I think that there is definitely something about almost being able to touch the end that leads to a drop in motivation. I find that happens whenever I decide to start looking for a new job. Even before I leave I kinda mentally check out.
Love your action plan though. It’s miserable when you’re plugging away at a job that you don’t want to do so it’s great that you’ve got a strategy to get through it!
Glad to know I’m not alone in that 🙂 . You feel that even before you’ve found the new job? If so, that’s interesting because it’s similar to retirement in that you don’t have it yet, but it’s already affecting your attitude. Glad you like the action plan! We’ll see if it works!
Great post. 🙂 I’m glad you have some elements of early retirement that you can enjoy now. That will definitely make it easier to get to your end goal.
Thank you! And yes I’m trying my best to take advantage of that and work on my mindset. I think it will make it easier. Thank you for stopping by!
I feel for you! I have one kid still in HS so there is a structural barrier I can use to keep my mind focus on staying in the current situation, even though I’m definitely ready for the next stage in life. For my husband and I, our FIRE journey will continue with a location independent business and a move from our current place in NYC. But we have one more semester to go. I chuckled when I read your post b/c I can totally empathize with your impatience. Hang in there!
Glad I’m not the only one in this boat 🙂 . It’s awesome you have a structural barrier. My date being a ‘goal’ is a lot less structured currently. I’m so looking forward to your location independence! Also say hi to NYC for me – I don’t think it misses me though 😉 . Stay warm and you hang in there too!
I can totally see how getting in those last few years can get harder with the impatience! I really enjoy lingering in the mustachian forum threads of the cohorts retiring in the next couple of years to see how they are dealing with this.
Glad you got a game plan from writing this article :). Isn’t great how blogging does that? I think ignoring the “if only” thoughts, enjoying the aspects of retirement you have now and celebrating the milestones are all things that should help!
When I got super discouraged at work I stumbled upon positive psychology in the workplace type of info which led me to read “The Happiness Advantage”” by Shawn Achor and it really helped shift my mind a bit around work. This might be something to look into to combat wishing for the work time to pass by these next couple of years.
Yeah it was a weird revelation, but that seems to be the case for me. And ooh do you mind sharing links to those forums? I’d love to check them out. And yeah – blogging is weird and wonderful like that. Helping me organize my thoughts and accidentally creating a path forward. It’s like magic! Ooh that book looks awesome – adding it to my library eBook holds now! Thanks so much for the suggestion!
Absolutely 🙂 Here is the 2018 cohort : https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/welcome-to-the-forum/2018-fire-cohort/
and the 2019:
https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/welcome-to-the-forum/2019-fire-cohort/
Of course some parts of these thread may just make you more impatient to get there lol, but it’s all in balancing that out with finding ways to hang in there those last years!
Amazing!!! Thanks so much. Checking these out on my lunch break.
#2 – that is the ONE big thing I would change about my job. That is a serious awesome perk. We’d do a lot of slow travel if that was a possibility.
Yes indeed. It is a sweet perk, but it does have some downsides I wasn’t expecting. I should probably write a post about that…Also the nature of my job (client service) sadly eliminates the possibility of slow travel for me. It feels like being free and trapped (inside, on a laptop) at the same time. Very strange. Maybe you can talk your job into letting you work from home?? Never hurts to ask.
I can really see how it would become harder as you get closer. You can see the end in sight at it’s easy to get dissatisfied with the fact that it’s just.so.close.
I also think you’ve come up with some really good solutions for yourself to bide the time. I particularly like you idea of thinking about it as buying your time.
You’ve already learned to to focus on optimizing. So instead of focusing on what you don’t have right now, that’s a great tool. What is each extra day of work buying you?
Depending on your mindset, that tactic could also keep some people working a little longer. “Hey, if I just work one more year I could do TWO trips to Paris.” Etc.
If you’re really ready to start exercising some early retirement muscle, you could always consider going part time, and extending how long you work.
Sounds like that idea doesn’t work for you, but could be a tool for some others.
Congrats on being so close!
Yeah – human brains are weird 🙂 . The buying the time idea has been working so far. After a particularly hard day I’ve been telling myself “it was a hard day, not a hard 3 weeks” and I usually feel a lot better just by shifting my mindset in that way. Besides time each day at work buys me about half a month of rent after taxes so that’s a cool way to look at it too. Totally great idea for others to go part-time. Sadly my industry doesn’t really allow it and if they do you’re just doing the same amount of work for less pay. Boundaries don’t really exist (for example I started working at 5am today). And thank you!
Great post. I’m approaching what might be the halfway stage of my journey to FIRE, and so far, I’ve been able to just focus on work because the goal (around 10 years) was so far away. I think the second half will be more difficult for me too, not only because I want to be there already but because I will likely be rechecking my numbers constantly to be sure I’m doing the right thing! Hope not too much doubt will creep in and yes, I’m probably a candidate for one more year!
Thank you! That’s awesome you’re still able to focus. Keep at it! I’m jealous. It’s good to know if you’re a candidate for OMY so you can combat it if you want to. And I hear you on doubt – this is going to be a big, crazy step and I know I’ll be freaking out for a while 🙂 .
Haha, so what I’m hearing is that I should be thankful that my FIRE date is absolutely nowhere in sight yet!
I can imagine it’s so tough to be so close to such a huge dream, but it sounds like you’ve got an excellent plan for the next 2 or so years. You can do it!
That’s a great spin on this – yes that’s exactly how you should feel 😉 . And thank you! We’ll see if my plan works. Thank you for the encouragement!
I’ve been feeling impatient even though I’m just STARTING my career, which is driving me crazy! I believe my job is meaningful and fulfilling, so I hate that I’m constantly daydreaming about a future life without work when I have it so good. I don’t know why I don’t feel fully satisfied. But when I think about it, I think that COVID is driving a lot of that dissatisfaction. None of us are living the life we expected to now so that’s bound to leave us fantasizing for an idyllic future. At least I hope that’s why I’m feeling this way! I’m probably bound to work at least 20 years so I can’t feel like this when I’m only two years in!
So take this from someone who has felt very similar things: Feel what you feel 🙂 . Denying it or being angry that you’re feeling a certain way when you have it relatively good was a recipe for disaster for me. It led to an emotional spiral where I was then mad that I was feeling a certain way when I thought I shouldn’t be or didn’t deserve to be and it just made it worse.
It’s awesome that your job is meaningful and fulfilling, but that doesn’t mean you can’t dream of a life with even more freedom. And fair point about COVID, but also I felt that way even before I knew what a pandemic was so take that as you’d like 😉 . Deep breaths, you got this. Don’t beat yourself up for feeling what you’re feeling.
I know I’m late to finding this, but am so glad I did. This is exactly the struggle I’ve been dealing with. My original plan had my FIRE date 4 to 5 years from now, but last year it became clear that I’m going to hit that number much sooner… possibly within the year. And my silly brain does not want to focus on anything else. I’ve already been partially justifying one more year. Argh. Thank you so much for sharing this part of your journey so openly. It’s heartening to read this and the many posts that follow and see that not only can you make it through this feeling, but the other side is totally worth it and not terrifying even when you do this in the middle of a pandemic. Thank you a million times for sharing your experience! I suddenly feel less crazy knowing that I’m not the only one who went through this.
Hi Jennifer! It’s never too late and I’m so glad this post helped you. Reading your comment made me smile so wide 🙂 . Congratulations on being so close earlier than expected! Our brains are indeed silly, but you’ve got this. The last few years are the hardest part, but the last 6 months or so will fly by so fast that if you’re like me you’ll be look up and be like “What happened?!” haha. I can indeed confirm that the grass is greener on the other side 😉 . Good luck with whatever you decide to do (even one more year). You are not alone and you’ve got this!!