I keep getting this question from people outside the FIRE community: “What have you sacrificed to try and achieve this goal?” It kept ribbing on me hours and days after I heard it and I couldn’t figure out why.
I don’t know if this question comes from the stereotype that we are all followers of “extreme frugality” or weirdos that wear shirts with holes. I understand that a lot of mainstream media gravitates to more extreme stories so when FIRE is talked about in the media a lot of the times those are the examples quoted, but the idea that reaching this goal requires sacrifice is strange to me.
At a surface level I get it because streamlining your spending and increasing your income (if possible) does require a CHANGE, but I don’t think of it as a sacrifice. For example, I used to eat out constantly when we lived in Manhattan. I didn’t know how to cook. I once burnt a pan of water (yeeeah…). So my eating out spending was thousands and thousands of dollars.
I didn’t have a reason to examine or change that choice so I did that for years. Then I decided to try out FIRE and started being very thoughtful about what brings me joy to see if I even COULD reduce my spending to reach early retirement faster.
I discovered that what I enjoyed about restaurants wasn’t even the food (though I obviously needed it since I couldn’t cook…), but the companionship. So I did an experiment. I started trying recipes (oftentimes supervised by my partner so I didn’t burn anything down…). I started reading cookbooks. I started meal prepping my lunches and making meals for our dinner.
I did all this while still going out to eat often. After my skills were deemed acceptable to not kill someone, I started inviting people over for dinner. We hung out for far longer than the usual hour we would spend in a restaurant, and had a much more fun and relaxed time that just happened to come out to a fraction of a restaurant price.
Looking at the changes I’ve made since starting down this journey 4+ years ago to reduce my spending from around $35,000 a year to a little over $17,000, I don’t think I’ve ‘sacrificed’ anything. I’ve changed some of my habits that I discovered didn’t bring me joy (such as eating out every meal and a weird purse and shoe habit) and kept everything that did (such as a healthy travel budget) while also finding cheaper ways to do what I want anyway (hello travel hacking and dinner parties!)
Thinking of the changes we might (or might not!) make to our life on the road to financial independence as a sacrifice seems like the wrong lens to me. It doesn’t have to be depending on your income and timeline. I have never deprived myself of anything on this journey.
If I ACTUALLY want something, anything, I will buy it. “ACTUALLY” being the key word. This journey has led me to be so much more thoughtful about my money and my life. If something brings me joy, I don’t scrimp on it (see my ‘party’ budget) and if something doesn’t, I change it. Simple.
Have you sacrificed anything on the road to financial independence? If so, what made you make that decision?
i don’t feel like we’ve sacrificed at all in getting here. we were squarely middle class and just buy just about whatever we want, which it turns out is not so much. we spend on good times and not much else. our good times might be different from another person’s, but we celebrate that too.
Glad I’m not the only one! I also usually spend on good times/things that involve people I love.
Obviously I love having people over and cooking for them 🙂 Can feed a whole house full for less than one dinner for the three of us, and, like you said, you get to spend lots more time together. And for those of us who are hard of hearing, the conversation is easier as well.
I’m glad our preferences align on that 😉 . And that’s another good point! Restaurants and bars can get crazy loud/rowdy.
Oh man, I think I actually have to disagree. I mean, yes, just being mindful about spending is key, but there are many things that would bring me joy that I don’t do simply because they cost a lot of money.
Like, I’m sacrificing personal trainer sessions, a private office/craft space, car with a backup camera/parallel park assist…honestly can’t think of too many more examples, but there are also hobbies and activities like scuba diving that I’d need to watch in terms of frequency when retired to not go over budget (easy now just because of limited vacation time!).
I think most people would be able to cut a lot out of their budgets just by being mindful, but there are a lot more grey areas, where you might enjoy something, but need to limit or get rid of because the joy you get is just not enough compared to the early retirement payoff.
Yes please disagree! That’s very interesting to hear. I’m going to have to think of there’s anything I’m not doing because of the money – I can’t think of anything at the moment. I might be lucky that the stuff I love doesn’t cost a lot of money. Something else interesting is that it seems like you’re talking about ‘tradeoffs’ which in my mind are different (a cost/benefit analysis) compared to ‘sacrifices’, which imply a loss/sadness. Might just be wording. I’m going to keep thinking about this…Thanks so much for stopping by!
Ah, see, everything in my mind is a cost/benefit analysis 😉 #nerd
I think much of it would be a difference of terminology then, but I’d be curious where your cutoff is between “tradeoff” and “sacrifice.” Like, would giving up alcohol completely be a sacrifice? What if you grew up with an expensive hobby like horseback riding vs. never trying it to begin with? What if in early retirement the market tanked — Would you adjust your budget, and would *those* adjustments be sacrifices? Is forcing yourself to think about these questions a time sacrifice (i.e. sacrificing more free time to think about tradeoffs)? How do you know that there aren’t experiences you would love that you’re essentially “sacrificing” by never considering (e.g. Zumba 😉 )?
I’m thinking when people ask about sacrifices, they’re likely including “tradeoffs,” or at least, what they see as a sacrifice, you’d see as a tradeoff — purely anecdotal, of course. 🙂
Love it! I think my cost/benefit analysis might be black and white – as in if I want it I do it and if I don’t, I don’t. It sounds like yours is a lot more nuanced, which is awesome.
To answer your specific questions: Giving up alcohol for what reason lol? For no reason I would say is a sacrifice (for me anyway), but if I have liver disease that’s a fair tradeoff in my mind. As for expensive hobbies like horseback riding – I actually grew up riding horses lol (random). I actually try everything I’m interested in at least once (such as ziplining) and then decide if I want to continue. I’ve been fortunate that I usually enjoy the free activities instead (like snorkeling)…Or have i brainwashed myself into thinking that?!
When the market tanks I am going to adjust my budget through geoarbitrage so I can live the same quality life for less. So no sacrifice in that scenario, but I’ll let you know when I have to do it 🙂 . I might be singing a different tune. And how have I never considered Zumba when we’re going tomorrow lol?! I don’t think there are any activities I’ve never even considered because of the price.
It’s totally possible tradeoffs are within the umbrella of sacrifices in people’s minds. I’m going to have to ask some more pointed questions the next time someone asks me this! Thanks so much for making me think 🙂
Ooo, would love to see how people respond when you ask what they mean by sacrifice!
And of course, always happy to ask a series of annoying questions! (Like, if you’d geoarbitrage if/when market tanks, wouldn’t moving in itself be a sacrifice (otherwise you’d already be in that area))? 😉
Great question! Not in my current plan of being a vagabond, living out of a backpack and going wherever I feel like (including HCOL and LCOL areas), but if I had put down roots that could be a sacrifice! I look forward to you pointing to my lifestyle in the future and yelling “SACRIFICE!” Though maybe don’t do that…people might think you’re gathering them to sacrifice me…
Had to chime in on this discussion…taking it back to writing 101… ‘merriam webster defines ‘ (hehe)
sacrifice = an act of giving up something valued for the sake of something else regarded as more important or worthy.
So yes, as purple life describes what she’s done to reach her goals and especially in the post “My Vice: Eating Out”… that is the definition of a sacrifice.
I think these days and within FIRE we tend to contextualize sacrifice with some sort of suffering… like a ritual sacrifice…but alas no.
Taking it back to the basics! I love it – thanks for chiming in!
I’m not FIRE, but I don’t think I’m sacrificing much, if anything, for frugality. I don’t miss cable. I don’t need an expensive cell phone plan (though a nicer phone would be swell, and I’m saving up for that). I don’t really love shopping at department stores where you know you could get something that everyone else is wearing. Thrift store are more fun and offer more unique finds.
I’ve made room in the budget for the things that matter to me (nights out with friends, including one night out of drinking a month and one meal out a week) and cut out what didn’t. So I don’t miss anything.
Sounds like we’re on the same page. I haven’t cut anything I enjoyed (and I definitely don’t miss my fancy phone plan since this one does the same thing 🙂 ). LOVE thrift stores! My grandmother and mother think they’re ‘dirty’, which I find strange. Most of the stuff I buy there is brand new (or it was in NYC – I haven’t bought a lot of clothes in a while). “I’ve made room in the budget for the things that matter to me” – Exactly! I’m totally with you. Thank you for stopping by!
Yes!! I would get really annoyed at other people’s comments on things we did differently and eventually I learned to let them be and just focus on those things that bring value to us and hope they see that. Eventually some friends and our family stopped mentioning the lack of cable at our house or the fact that our car is smaller/older, all things I thought silly for them to be bothered by since it’s not things they would have used anyways. Besides they’re too busy enjoying the good food and beverages we supply them lol especially with our latest kick of making the best cocktails such as martinis when we host. See I’m still working on figuring out the perfect trade-off level alcohol wise lol.
Exactly. Y’alls comments are really helping me work through my issue with this word ‘sacrifice.’ People see your older car or lack of cable and seem to think of it as something you are ‘lacking’ when instead it’s a conscious choice. I’m glad you’re letting it be and not letting those kinds of things bother you! And martinis YUM! I haven’t had one of those in a bit. Trade offs with alcohol + parties are a hard one (I just looked at my budget numbers for the quarter and they’re not ideal lol). I hope we can find a nice balance!
I love all the comments about spending on food and restaurants. I go out to eat with people I really enjoy because I love the social aspect of it. I’ve certainly learned how to navigate saving overall without it impacting my life in a dire way. I’m proud of this and don’t feel deprived at all anymore.
This post is a stellar reminder that we are all responsible for spending where we wish and saving in areas less important to us. I don’t feel like I’ve sacrificed that much in order to have a high savings rate. I’m pretty sure I would live about the same way (except make more time to write and read) if I had more money. Your post really helped me realize this.
So glad you liked them! So glad you don’t feel deprived anymore! I obviously completely agree – I don’t see the point in decreasing the enjoyment of life in the present to save for the future. In a lot of cases it’s possible to find a balance that doesn’t include deprivation. I think I’d live the same way too with more money. So glad I could help you realize that!
There are definitely things I don’t do because of lack of money but they don’t all fall under “sacrifice”. Skipping make up is not just to save on money, I also hate putting it on because I stink at it. NOT a sacrifice 😀
I gave up alcohol but it’s not like I loved it, and it was mainly for health reasons. Not a sacrifice.
We don’t travel business class because it’s too costly for our budgets – maaaaybe a sacrifice.
I gave up very physical hobbies I loved because of my health and I haven’t picked them up again because of money – definitely feels like a sacrifice that I haven’t added it back because of the money but TBH my body isn’t capable of doing that stuff again yet either.
What I find most helpful in this whole exercise, and life, is that if I frame it the right way, choices that I make don’t usually feel painful and therefore don’t come across as sacrifices. That means I’m more likely to succeed at the main goal and I’m happier doing it. Doesn’t mean I don’t make choices where I’d rather have taken the other path sometimes but we’re getting better at picking and choosing strategically and appreciating the end goal of retirement.
The one that may be, though? Figuring out whether or not we’re going to have any more kids. That’s going to feel tough no matter what we choose.
I am WITH you on make up. I wear a little eyeliner sometimes, but that’s it. $5 and it lasts all year since I don’t use it often. Totally not a sacrifice. Good job giving up alcohol! I sometimes think I should as well. Would add money to my wallet and be better for me. Haha on business class. I admit I do a cost/benefit analysis there. I’d PREFER to be in biz class, but I don’t value that preference as much as the ticket costs (unless it’s travel hacked of course…)
I’m sorry you had to give up your physical hobbies because of your health. That’s a great point about framing things a certain way. I’m going to turn that kind of analysis on my budget and see if anything changes. Good luck with your decision to have more kids or not. I can imagine that’s a hard decision to make.
I’m in total agreement! We don’t feel we’ve sacrificed for FIRE either.
Having FI as a goal has given our spending and saving a purpose. All our decisions to spend/not spend are way more mindful now that we have a goal.
We’re living far more inline with our values now than we did before discovering FIRE—that’s why nothing in our journey has felt like a sacrifice.
I’m glad you wrote this article. I think we need more like this! It just proves how joyful and satisfying the FIRE journey truly is (for most of us at least)!
So glad you agree! Maybe that’s the mindset shift – instead of depriving ourselves we’re just more intentional. So happy you enjoyed the post! And I’m happy to write more 🙂 . It really is a satisfying journey having a plan and following it towards a goal. Thank you for stopping by!
The important take out from this exercise is to ask ourselves “Is there a better way?
And if so what are the activities we can do right now that will start to improve our life in a positive way?”
For myself this required what others may call a radical shift .
I expanded my business and relocated from Sydney to Cairns the doorstep of the Great Barrier Reef and Daintree Rainforest.
Doing so has saved me $50,000 less per year in my “job”, as a result my income increased and I have more time to exercise, entertain, grow and help others. The very things that are important to me and my happiness.
That’s a great takeaway. So glad you were able to identify what you needed to make you happier and change it – even when that required a radical shift. That sounds like a lovely life!
Also I’m going to Cairns on my Victory Lap tour after retiring. We should get coffee! Are you free in October or November of 2020 😉 ?
Your journey is such an inspiration! I long for achieving FIRE but in the meantime I’m loving the path there. Your experiences ring so true to me. Since cutting back and watching our expenses more closely, I’ve realized how much I was wasting. Makes me wonder why I even bothered buying most of the “stuff” in the first place!
Thank you! That’s so nice to hear. Glad I’m not the only one that’s enjoying the path and cutting out waste without actually sacrificing anything of value. I’m with you on the ‘stuff’ – it’s crazy what you can accumulate without thinking about it. Thank you for stopping by!
The one time I was asked “what did I sacrifice” (to get my progress towards Financial Independence), I was *so* tempted to answer “a goat”. Just to see the reaction and the ensuing conversation. 😀
Bonus points: I live in [the US state of] Georgia.
Hello fellow Georgian! I was born and raised there. And I fully support answering “a goat” – I might have to borrow that answer myself!