I mentioned briefly in my latest quarterly budget check in that I decided to give up alcohol for 100 days. After successfully completing Dry January at the beginning of the year, I found myself slipping back into old habits: turning to a glass of wine after a hard day at work and feeling like that was my only relief from the anxiety of the day.
By the end of May I was fed up again – fed up with my relationship with this substance, fed up with even slight hangovers that linger for a whole day and fed up with my body’s new penchant for blacking out randomly after ingesting even relatively small amounts of alcohol.
It was like my body was trying to tell me something and mentally I was just tired of the cycle and of the mental space that thinking about drinking (or not drinking) took up. I woke up (hungover) one day in May and decided to do something that at the time I would have labeled as ‘drastic.’
I decided to be alcohol free for at least 100 days. 31 alcohol free days in January did not lead to any big revelations about my relationship with alcohol or changes in my behavior. My life quickly returned to the wine filled status quo. 6 weeks is another often thrown around amount of time to give up the sauce, but it’s only a little longer than 1 month, so I chose a different approach.
My hope going into those 100 days was to give myself time to remember who I am without poison running through my veins and take the time needed for not drinking to become an actual habit while I reflect on my relationship with booze.
I am happy to say that I completed the challenge without a drop of alcohol and discovered a lot about myself and this ubiquitous substance along the way. Here’s what I learned:
Alcohol is an addictive toxin
This probably seems obvious to you, but I had not internalized what this fact actually MEANS. Alcohol is addictive and it is classified as a group 1 carcinogen. Unlike with cigarettes or ‘hard’ drugs, with alcohol, our culture blames the PERSON instead of the substance if they get addicted to it and that makes no sense. I used to beat myself up because of my preoccupation with alcohol or passing thoughts like “ugh the day is almost over – then I can have some wine!”
I would beat myself up for reacting to an addictive substance with increased preoccupation, which would just lead to more negative feelings that I would want to cover up with, you guessed it: alcohol. It was a vicious cycle and I understand and accept that now. There is nothing wrong with me that I became preoccupied with a substance that is by definition addictive.
Alcohol in our society is treated as cigarettes used to be – it’s idolized as a status symbol that can show how cool and well liked we are, when the reality of excess alcohol consumption is basically the opposite. So I gave myself permission to accept how I felt about alcohol as natural and a product of both the substance’s nature and its elevation in our society.
No one gives a shit what you do
A little bit of harsh wording, but I needed the phrasing before embarking on this journey so I’ll say it straight: no one gives a shit what you do. Before starting these 100 days, my main concern was surprisingly what OTHER people would think and say in reaction to me not drinking. At parties, would I be asked if I’m an alcoholic after I turn down a tipple? Would people think I was pregnant? Would my friends stop inviting me to happy hours since I wouldn’t partake??
My preoccupation with the thoughts of others was surprising to me because in every other aspect of my life, I don’t really care what others think. It’s one of the things I like most about myself, but in this instance my thoughts centered around other people and what they would think of me or how they might treat me differently.
Luckily throughout this time, I discovered the harsh reality that people really don’t care what you do. During my break from booze, I went to countless happy hours, house parties and even a wedding. No one asked why I wasn’t drinking. No one stopped inviting me to outings that involved alcohol. If someone asked if I wanted some wine or liquor I would simply say “no thanks” and we would move on. I was so worried about NOTHING.
Similar to how people fear how others might react when we reveal our financial independence goals, mounting evidence in my life suggests that people don’t really care. So I stopped worrying what others would think and just kept being me.
Alcohol causes anxiety
Yes you read that right – CAUSES. All my life I thought that despite the negative affects alcohol actually DID the one thing everyone seems to claim: that it reduces or eliminates anxiety. During my time being alcohol free, one way I filled the surprisingly many hours I got back by not being in a tipsy haze, was reading books about the nature of this drug and its position in society, including the amazing High Sobriety and the fascinating This Naked Mind.
This fact was the most shocking one I found. During my research I discovered the term “hangxiety,” which is a shortened version of “hangover anxiety.” It’s a phenomenon that happens the day after drinking when your heart races and you feel that tightness of anxiety in your chest.
I always thought that anxiety was something my body created on its own that a glass or three of wine would quiet, but instead I have discovered that alcohol actually causes anxiety within our bodies as a result of how it interacts with our hormones. That anxious feeling I would have the next day after drinking, that I thought only wine would solve, was actually being caused by the very same substance.
This was a complete revelation to me and one that I was able to prove in my study of one. Without alcohol, I am a lot more calm and less anxious in general. WHO KNEW?!? And this was the case despite my work becoming a nightmare that started basically at the same time I stopped drinking. This also coincided with my partner starting a sabbatical and enjoying his life in our apartment, while I’m cursing and putting out office fires one room over.
Despite my external stressors being higher than ever, I was calmer. I was better able to handle any challenge that came up. That’s something else I learned that is related to alcohol causing anxiety – alcohol also makes it harder to regulate your emotions because of its chemical reactions in your body. I’ve always wondered why someone can go from laughing and having the time of their life while drinking, to crying in a corner – this is why.
It turns out I’m not actually a stressed out ball of anxiety with a racing heart and head – that was the alcohol.
Alcohol is not needed to be sociable
I’m not sure if those of you who met me at FinCon noticed, but I did not have a drop to drink until the final nights of the conference. FinCon this year landed on the final days of my 100 day challenge, and before I got into it, this was exactly the type of event that I would think would be impossible to enjoy without alcohol because of its supposed confidence boosting qualities.
It turns out that I don’t need alcohol to talk to new people, I don’t need alcohol to start cutting moves on the dance floor and I don’t need alcohol to enjoy any event or gathering. In fact, I now prefer gatherings without it. I am sharper and more aware of what I want as well as my physical and mental needs.
No amount of alcohol will make a bad party a good party – I’d just be drunk at a bad party. Without the beer goggles, I have been able to identify what I actually want. For example, the wedding I went to during my 100 days happened AT a bar. The main activity was drinking and I still had a great time, BUT after about 4 hours, I realized I was tired and I decided to leave. Usually at this point of the night I would think, “Well I can’t just LEAVE – that would be lame. I should take one of those shots they’re handing out over there and power through!”
I don’t know why that seemed like acceptable behavior before, but now I see it as complete silliness. If I don’t want to be at a party anymore, I leave. If I’m not enjoying something, I change it. I don’t keep drinking until I think it will be enjoyable. That’s total nonsense.
So I’ve been leaving events or calling it a night earlier than before this experiment, but I am happier for it. I know what I want, don’t care what people will think of my decision and do what’s best for me.
Alcohol dulled my senses
This was another big surprise. I got to the point where alcohol was my treat at the end of the day – it’s how my partner and I would unwind after work. It’s how my friends and I would celebrate the weekend. Alcohol was how I believed I celebrated and relaxed.
When I took that crutch away, I realized that alcohol was getting in the way of a million things that excite or relax me. Instead of looking forward to a glass of wine after work, I started looking forward to the delicious sous vide steak that would be ready in an hour. I relaxed with a hot cup of tea and treated myself to pieces of dark chocolate. Really small things started bringing me surprising amounts of joy, such as a cold sparkling water on a hot day or slipping on silly slippers my Mom let me steal 😉 .
Not to be dramatic, but removing alcohol from my life and seeing how I am and what I enjoy without it, felt a little like going from seeing the world in black and white to color. Something was numbed inside me when I was drinking regularly and removing that felt like a wonderful gift.
Where Do I Go From Here?
To be honest, I don’t know. My 100 days without alcohol combined with Dry January meant that I have gotten through about half of the year so far without drinking. I discovered some wonderful aspects to not drinking and now understand what alcohol does to my body and mind, but despite that, the concept of “never” doesn’t sit well with me.
The thought of “never” experiencing the world by trying wine at a local vineyard in a new country or sipping whiskey at a distillery in Ireland while overlooking the rolling green hills, fills me with some sadness. And now that I’ve taken this time to remove myself from booze, I know that sadness is no longer linked to the addictive nature of the substance and is instead a part of me liking the idea of fully experiencing the world.
I feel like I’m at a cross roads because while I value experiences, alcohol is still a toxic substance and I do not ingest other drugs of that nature because they are bad for me and I’m wary of their addictive traits. So why is alcohol different? Is it because of its ubiquity in our society? Or does its addictive nature have more of a hold on me than I think?
Conclusion
I’m not sure what my future holds. I’m not sure if I should just swear off alcohol as I have cigarettes and hard drugs which I’ve never even tried because of my fear of liking them too much. I’m not sure if doing so would cause me to miss out on a part of life. All I know is that I don’t want alcohol to be a default in my life and I want to treat it with the caution I do to all addictive substances. So I’m in a transition period – I have been drinking since my 100 days were up, but less frequently than before. I’m not sure where I’ll go from here, but I’ll keep you posted along the way.
Have you ever given up a substance for months or forever? What did you learn from the experience?
Interesting! There is a lot here I didn’t know before about the science behind alcohol and anxiety, emotions, etc.
I got into the habit of turning down drinks during pregnancy and breastfeeding. (In the latter, I especially hated how dehydrated it would make me feel.) My tolerance is super low now and if I do drink it’s usually slowwwly or stealing sips from my partner (that way the beer is always cold, hehe). I don’t have the same urge or impulse to relexively accept a drink that I did before. It sounds like it may also be the same for you?
Yeah I had no idea myself about any of that stuff until I started digging. Throwing myself into the challenge (and adding an education component) really helped it stick I think.
And WOW I’m so impressed with your tolerance – I haven’t looked into if that stuff is genetic at all, but even with I haven’t been drinking for a long time (or just started like in high school) it’s always taken me A LOT to feel anything with alcohol. Super smart on stealing beer sips from your partners ‘always cold’ beer haha!
I don’t have the same “where’s the wine?!” reflex after work that I used to, but I have been accepting it when people offer and it’s a type of wine I haven’t had before. Still assessing if that’s how I want to keep doing it or just keeping that kind of experimentation to like a vineyard where that IS the experience. Thanks so much for stopping by!
One hundred days quitting alcohol today. I noticed the sleeping better and saving money. I miss having a beer, glass of red wine or Manhattan cocktail. I planned to stop drinking for six months. It should be interesting how I think about quitting alcohol then.
Substance abuse has a history in my family, so I’ve always been more hyper aware of my consumption of drugs and alcohol. I realized sometime last winter that I was utilizing alcohol far too much and very much like a crutch. I haven’t eliminated it completely, but I’ve realized this pattern and significantly cut down on my consumption. It’s helpful that my drink of choice (red wine) has started giving me massive headaches. That’s makes it much easier to say no! Thanks for sharing your journey with this. The science is particularly interesting!
That’s awesome you recognized that something had changed and took steps to avoid it! Though ugh I am sorry your drink of choice gives you headaches – I’m sure that helps, but that’s mean of it just the same 🙂 . Happy to share – especially about the science. I was seriously shocked about that stuff, but when I was able to look back at my experiences with clear eyes it makes so much sense.
My dad was an alcoholic, four pack-a-day smoker, inveterate gambler, womanizer…the list goes on. Fortunately I’ve become.none of those things, but I have had to dial back the beer and wine consumption as of late, as I was self-medicating too much (2-3/night), and perhaps a period of teetotaling might be helpful, especially with an already higher than normal level of anxiety. Also, I too hAlave noticed that even after one drink in the evenings, I have not a hangover, but just a bit of sluggishness – perhaps a half step behind where I should have been…
Oh wow – I’m sorry to hear that. It’s also you’ve become none of those things 🙂 . I know we talked on Twitter, but I’m excited to hear what you think of your dry period starting in January. Just taking that step away for a long enough time that your brain registers “oh this is my life” instead of “this is a month I need to white-knuckle through” made a big difference for me.
And I’m with you on the not hangover, but sluggishness 100%. Maybe we should invent a new word for it 🙂 . Thank you for stopping by!
Hmmm…
meh-over?
the wine-blahs?
That’s all I got or tonight…
I endorse the wine-blahs!
Drugs are weird. On one hand if I busted out an opium pipe at a party that would be crazy but opioids are at the same time the 2nd most prescribed drug in the US. Drinking endless cups of coffee a day is somehow considered fine. Vaping somehow has gathered steam (see what I did there) while smoking is way uncool. Point being that the social aspects of drugs are strange. As far as drinking, some of the funnest times I’ve had involved a couple drinks. But come to think of it, not many of the funnest times I’ve ever had included being wasted. I am not saying that these things are fine or trying to minimize the huge downsides of drugs. It is just weird how we as a society are at times surprised by drugs, appalled by them, or complacent over them. Thanks for the thought provoking post.
Haha – yes indeed they are. I’m completely with you on the weirdness (and on the vaping pun – I’ll allow it 😉 ). Your comment about some of the most fun times you’ve had involved a couple drinks has been making me think because…I don’t think mine have, which is weird since I used to more often than not have a wine in hand. You’ve made me think for sure. And anytime – thank you for reading it!
I was so excited for this post and let me tell you that it did not disappoint! Firstly, thank you for inspiring me to jump in on the same challenge : day 68 for me now.
The “no one gives a shit” part is so true! I wish I had this to read before I started because a large part of the first month of the challenge was realizing that I was the only person that made me feel awkward in social situations about not drinking.
No amount of alcohol will make a bad party good = yup! Then you even pay for the over-drinking the next day. I hope I can implement this rule for myself when I let alcohol back in my life, we shall see.
I’m still reflecting on how this will go in the future and I love that you will be sharing your own reflections during your transition period. Awesome post and again, HUGE congrats on completing these 100 days!
I’m so glad you enjoyed your VIP early access 😉 and happy I didn’t disappoint! No problem for the inspiration – thank you for listening to me gush about being alcohol free of all things and thinking it sounded interesting enough to jump in 🙂 . And YAY Day 68 complete – that’s so many days!! Congratulations lady!
I really do wish I had written this before you began your AF journey, but alas as I’ve said: I don’t have a time machine…yet 😉 . I’ll be here so we can figure out together how we’re getting alcohol back into our lives and being wary of other peoples’ thoughts. Thanks so much lady!!!
I have 100 days sober today, I did’nt realise it until I added the days, Dec. 20th to Mar. 28th. Ive been craving a margarita so bad, but now Im thinking, not worth trading the good nites sleep and beautiful sober mornings. The article and shared thoughts have lifted me out of what would have been a terrible idea. Thanks to all and good things.
Congratulations on 100 days Brian – that’s awesome! Happy we could help. Also if it’s the actual margarita you crave (vs the alcohol) I can confirm that they are quite delicious in ‘virgin’ form 🙂 . Not sure if that would be too tempting for you, but it’s helped me think of a virgin marg as basically a dessert instead of an alcohol vehicle. Good luck!
as you know, i love wine. i am a wine enthusiast and once even wrote a thesis on chardonnay production for my chemistry degree. i have some wine most days and enjoy that.
all that being said i’m under no illusion that it’s good for me. i just got one of those fitness watches about 6 months ago. on a day where i drink wine i check my heart rate the next day. it usually starts out somewhere around 60 at bed time and ends up in the low 50’s by morning as all the toxins are processed and eliminated. on a no-wine day my heart rate at bed time is in the mid 50’s and ends up in the mid-low 40’s by morning. that’s a big damned difference. it’s not like we all didn’t know this but it’s different with almost real-time feedback from your own body. i’m glad getting off the sauce has worked out well for you. i might be the one with “a bad liver and a broken heart” as tom waits sang. it’s a good song if you have time to listen.
Yes indeed I am aware 🙂 . You wrote a thesis on chardonnay production?! Can I read it?? And you saying you “have some wine most days” might be the difference between you and me – I don’t usually have ‘some’. If it’s a ‘drinking night’ I go all out, which might be part of why this challenge was necessary lol. Like many things in my life I was thinking of it as all or something – I might be able to learn something from your more moderate approach.
That’s so interesting about your heart rate – I wasn’t aware of that affect though it makes sense given what’s happening in our bodies when we drink. I can definitely see how real time feedback would do that. Listening to the Tom Waits song now and I really like it. I still look forward to clinking glasses with you in the future.
Great job staying dry for that long. If one glass has a big effect on you, then you probably shouldn’t drink too often.
I rarely drink alcohol these days. It’s mainly due to the calories and triglyceride. Now, I probably have one or two beer per month. It doesn’t make a big difference to me.
Anyway, I’m glad to hear you took alcohol off your routine. Have a glass when you want to enjoy it, not because it’s a habit. 😉
Thank you! And actually one glass doesn’t have a big effect on me, which was part of the issue 😉 . Was that how it was for you (one glass having a big effect)? Calories is another fair reason to abstain – it’s certainly not adding any nutrition to the table. And I’m totally with you – I want to be drinking for the experience and taste, not as a crutch.
Great post, APL! I really liked how you compared alcohol to cigarettes because it’s so true that society idolizes it and thinks it’s perfectly fine in comparison to other substances. I have also noticed that alcohol causes anxiety for me the next day too, so I always avoid it now on nights that I have to work the next day. When I was younger, I did drink excessively to be social at parties because I’m introverted and shy. This still happens from time to time. But lately, I have been controlling it much better. I have been getting better at having one or two drinks and realizing that I don’t need to rely on a substance. The more I’m sober the more I’m realizing I can be social on my own… As you also know, I live in Canada and cannabis is legal. I will admit that I like cannabis and have been used it to help with sleep and anxiety. I’d go as far as to say I’ve even had a problem with it… But that’s another thing I’ve been staying away from recently. Not saying I will avoid the two forever, but I am working on being more responsible. Thanks for sharing your experience!
So happy you liked it!! And yes that comparison kept popping into my mind during my time off – what society decides is ‘ok’ is truly fascinating – and baffling. That’s awesome you identified that about alcohol and anxiety and cut it out on worknights! Maybe I should try that…mini rules usually don’t do well for me though. I’m more of an all or nothing person sadly (can you tell 😉 ?)
I’m with you on drinking a lot in social settings – I did that too to get over my ‘shyness’. I’m happy you found something less damaging to help with sleep and anxiety, but sorry it became a problem. That’s actually something I considered earlier in the year (increasing my pot consumption since it’s legal here too and decreasing alcohol, but I never got around to it). Your story is making me think that shouldn’t really be an avenue to try. Let me know how your journey goes! And anytime 🙂
What an interesting and self aware exploration of something you realized you were not fully in control of.
As a person who basically only discovered alcohol in my 30’s, I come at this from the opposite angle. I always hated the taste of alcohol because it actively tastes bad, and I never wanted to continue drinking it. Over time, as I had a sip of various things here and there, I found that “terrible” developed to” not awful”, then “mildly okay”, but there’s still only very few things that taste delicious.
I love delicious, complex, interesting experiences. I actively want to develop a taste for wine so I can pursue that sense of enjoyment in trying local, specific distillery and vinyard experiences.
But I don’t particularly like the way alcohol makes me *feel*, and never have. So to me it’s like McDonalds or a very heavy, expensive dessert. It’s an experience I choose sometimes, knowing the consequences.
I’m a total lightweight and it takes me absolutely forever to finish a glass of wine…I’ve never managed to finish a beer. But who cares? If what I’m enjoying is the taste, then why rush through it? I drink so slowly and with water so that I enjoy the taste of those few specific things, and by body has a ridiculously long time to metablize the alcohol.
Maybe that is the difference between alcohol “doing” something for you and performing a “function”, and being something tasty that you want to experience, like a particularly delectable piece of chocolate.
I hope you reach a balance that feels satisfying, and wish you the best as other stressors in your life ease into the new lifestyle you have created.
Thank you 🙂 . And that’s a great point – if I hadn’t ‘developed a taste for it’ as they say, I bet I’d think alcohol tastes gross too. Luckily after my time off my palette thinks basically all liquor is gross again, which is awesome!
That’s so amazing you don’t like how alcohol makes you feel – that’s the part I used to really enjoy. And thinking of it as McDonalds or dessert is really interesting – especially since I won’t have those for healthy reasons, but ingest poison willingly 🙂 .
Totally agree – if you’re there for the taste there’s absolutely no rush…it just seems that a lot of people (like myself) weren’t there for the taste 😉 . That might indeed be in the inflection point – thank you for sharing and stopping by! We’ll see what happens 🙂
I’ve never experimented with drugs because of an awful family history with not dealing with even “harmless” ones well, but I also gave up alcohol several years back. It always surprised me when friends had people interrogating them about it because why does anyone care what anyone else puts in their body? Certainly no one around me blinked an eye when I quit. Not that I drank with any regularity but drinking was part of my work culture, and even then I knew I was in a healthier environment when no one even noticed that I was passing on the wine and cocktails.
I went down to having a glass of wine on my birthday every year but I’ve even dropped that because I’d rather have a few more oysters and no regrets!
This year, the substance I dropped was sugar and boy oh boy has that been so much harder. I couldn’t / wouldn’t go cold turkey but I cut it by about 90% or more, and it’s made an enormous difference in my health. It’s not a cure but it has been a good choice. I’m having more trouble sticking with it because sugar is so delicious and yes, I was an addict, but reducing it this much is good and I won’t beat myself up over closing that remaining gap since that’s not productive. I’ll get there. I do wish there was a good substitute for it for the holidays though.
Congratulations on giving it up for so long! And yeah I am waiting to hear those weird comments – maybe I’m just in an accepting bubble, but I’m primed if someone down the line feels the need to comment on my choices. I get it with marriage, being childfree by choice, but being alcohol free was surprisingly free of peanut gallery comments…for now 🙂 . Glad you found a healthier work environment – I’ve come to similar conclusions about work culture and alcohol.
And oh wow – sugar too? That’s awesome!! Went I cut it out almost 3 years ago it changed a lot in my life. And yes – definitely don’t beat yourself up. You will get there. It’s funny – my Mom is obsessed with sweets, but has never really drank and I’m the opposite. Never liked sweets, but have always been drawn to alcohol. Both bad for us and we’ve given them both up (sugar for both of us basically forever). If you need a sugar accountability buddy let me know 🙂 . Thank you for stopping by!
Interesting and came at the right time. I’m starting an alcohol-free period because I’m not sure it’s a positive influence on me. Seems like a healthy experiment to me!
That’s so exciting! Let me know how it goes 🙂
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and I’m so glad you didn’t get many comments! I felt really uncomfortable with how much I drank at my wedding reception and then a close family member had an accident while drunk, which resulted in me taking many months off drinking in 2018.
I got multiple assumptions that I was pregnant, which drove me CRAZY and really upset me. I have a policy of no drinking at work or family events or if I don’t know anyone (basically don’t use it as a crux) and a conference I went to this year was SO frustrating because people were constantly asking me why I wasn’t drinking and then trying to “fix” my answer.
I usually try to limit myself to one, maybe two glasses of wine when I do drink these days and only when I am craving its taste!
No problem lady! And yeah I’m not sure if it’s a Seattle thing, but I haven’t gotten any so far…And oh no I’m so sorry to hear that!
Those are really good rules all around. I might adopt those myself. And I think you mentioned being aware of negative emotions too last time we hung out – I’m going to add that to my list. Alcohol usually enhances (instead of lessens) negative emotions for me so that’s not the time to imbibe. And UGH I’m so sorry to hear about that conference – what the hell people?!? Don’t they have their own lives to worry about??
Genius guidelines all around lady – thank you so much for sharing! I really appreciate it.
But Purple – ARE YOU PREGNANT??
I just couldn’t help myself 😂😂
More seriously, mommy culture has a real problem with glorifying alcohol consumption, and I wish more people tackled the problem with it head on.
DAMN IT ANGELA – you ruined my streak😂! And NO I’m not pregnant goodness. If I was only 100 days wouldn’t do much LOL! And YES I read about that in High Sobriety and how there’s a new brand of wine called “Mommy Juice” – what a weird association (that you can only get through having kids if you’re drunk all the time basically…). Agreed on tackling what’s happening head on – that seems surprisingly rare in our world I’m finding.
Congrats on staying dry for that long!! I only drink wine here and there nowadays and have a good control of it where I know when to stop. But before when I was in my 20s and going out to nightclubs/bars almost every weekend, I would either have a bottle and/or take hard liquor shots. It was the norm for me because I would be with a circle of friends that encourages drinking alcohol and brag about who can take more liquor shots before being intoxicated. It was fun but at the same time it was discouraging waking up during the weekends and having bad headache.
After I got married, I completely cut off the alcohol drinking and realized that I didn’t need it, I was only doing it because of the encouragement of others.
Thank you! That’s so awesome you know when to stop – given alcohol’s inhibition lowering qualities that’s SUPER impressive. And yep – I used to be a similar group of friends. Luckily we’ve all grown out of it together, but yikes that behavior was not productive when I look back on it. Congratulations on cutting it out/down after marriage and realizing you didn’t need it – that’s so amazing!!
PURPLE!!!!
I loved the article!! I have been wrestling with my own thoughts about drinking (without giving it up). I just completed my first week of sobriety and was contemplating going longer.
I really enjoyed reading your thoughts about your 100 days of sobriety. And I think a lot of what is holding me back from going longer is the fear of what other people (especially my spouse) will say/do.
I’m still ambivalent about going 100 days myself but I loved reading your story and am going to work on drinking less regardless.
Yay – so happy you liked it and CONGRATULATIONS on a week of sobriety!! That’s amazing. If you want a buddy for encouragement to go longer (if that’s what you choose) I’m here. My partner was drinking during this entire 100 days I was alcohol free so I know some of what those challenges can be. He wasn’t originally 100% supportive, but got into the groove after a little bit. And totally – no need to shoot for an arbitrary number, just find a level that works for you. Good luck!
Whew, 100 days is a long time for an experiment – but after trying it for a shorter time it makes complete sense to try longer and see how it differs. These are some great takeaways for sure!
As someone who has more drinks than are probably healthy, and has a family history of abuse, I’ve always tried to watch my drinking closely. Reflecting and know when you need to make a change is an extremely hard thing – major kudos to you for recognizing it AND doing it.
This post is a good reminder for me to read a bit more – starting with those two book recommendations!
Haha – I do nothing by halves 😉 . It was surprising how different the two experiments were for me despite one only being 3x the other timeframe. Thanks so much! And yes those books are awesome – High Sobriety for how society views alcohol and makes it difficult to turn away from it and This Naked Mind for the science behind what alcohol actually does to your body. Both fascinating accounts. Let me know what you think and thanks so much for stopping by!
I really enjoyed reading this article. This is my favorite quote “Alcohol in our society is treated as cigarettes used to be – it’s idolized as a status symbol that can show how cool and well liked we are, when the reality of excess alcohol consumption is basically the opposite.”
My husband doesn’t drink at all and I only do for special occasions – and sometimes we feel judged by people because it is seen as “uncool” if you don’t drink along with everyone and have a Sprite instead.
Thanks for sharing your journey!!
Glad you liked it! I’m sorry people react negatively to y’alls completely valid choices. Ugh – I hope our society has less preoccupation with this drug, similar to cigarettes, in the future. Thank you for stopping by 🙂
Awesome job on 100 days! I’ve found that drinking on keto is much different and tougher. I think I would consider 30 days dry. I do feel so much better when I don’t partake. Thanks for the nice post.
Thanks so much!! I didn’t actually feel a real difference drinking pre-keto versus now, but I’ve heard that a lot. Let me know if you decide to try out 30 days! It’s awesome you figured out you feel better when you don’t partake 🙂
This past winter was the first time I really experienced the side of drinking. Although it wasn’t even a daily occurrence, I recognized that it started to be a precursor to happiness, rather than a little added bonus now and again. I found myself leaning into it as a primary tool, rather than an accessory to happiness.
One of my simple rules I have recently been implementing (for myself only obviously) with respect to these types of things is 1. only partake when you’re already really happy. You shouldn’t ever use it to make something shitty feel good. This ultimately leads to a slow slide into depression and doesn’t allow the rest you(I) likely really need. 2. Only drink socially, any drinking by yourself is likely indulgent and ultimately a needless expense and tax on your body. 3. It should be a reward after doing something else first (this one is hard to explain) like after a group activity that doesn’t require alcohol.
In any event, it’s something that does require careful thoughtful evaluation and I’m grateful that you have reminded me to evaluate my relationship with these things again. I’m going to do a sober October after reading this, since I haven’t had a break in a while, and I think it is really important. Thanks!
It’s great you were aware enough to recognize what was happening and change it – that’s awesome. I think I’ve had alcohol be a precursor to happiness for myself in the past as well. That’s a good way to describe it and when the power dynamic with the substance changes. These are some really great rules – I’m going to think about incorporating them/implementing them in my plan going forward. Thank you so much for sharing!
Completely agree it’s good to reflect from time to time and yay for Sober October! Have fun and thanks so much for stopping by!
My brothers are both alcoholics, so I never tried drinking. I also worked in a bar/restaurant, and seeing drunk people made me sure that was the right decision.
Congrats on staying sober, and good luck with the future.
Oh wow – thank you for sharing. It sounds like you found a great path for yourself after observing the world around you. You’re making me feel stronger about my conviction to switch from alcohol entering my life often to rarely. Thank you for stopping by!
This is a great post! I was never a drinker until the past 3 or so years when I moved to wine country. I started enjoying a glass here and there. This past year, it became a treat every weekend and soon, became a treat every week night. I knew I was becoming addicted to it but it was so much damn fun! Then, the anxiety started and boy, that took me down a road of depression. I was in a really bad place. I just recently decided to take a break from wine for 30 days. However, I much prefer your 100 day. In fact, I might just go back to being a non-drinker because I have seen the change in my moods, personality, and overall health. Thank you for writing this! It helped me a lot!
So happy you enjoyed it! I can see how moving to wine country would change behavior and I’m obviously familiar with that slippery slope you’re talking about 🙂 . I’m sorry to hear the road alcohol took you down – it definitely increased my anxiety and depressive episodes as well.
Congratulations on taking a month (and maybe forever 🙂 ) off! That’s impressive. Good for you identifying what was happening and deciding to change it. That’s really difficult to do. Very glad I could help and thank you for stopping by!
Thanks for your honesty and reflections on a topic that isn’t discussed that often.
I’ll start with the old cliche that if you think you have a problem, to some extent you usually do (not saying this is your case). That’s great that you have enough self-awareness to question yourself and investigate the issue. No need to stop drinking as you’ve found, but definitely something to watch since you already have such an inclination for the effects of alcohol.
I’ve been sober/clean for 3 years now and you’re spot on in your assessment that you don’t need to drink to enjoy social events. It usually takes someone a chunk of sober time before they realize this. Your life isn’t limited by not drinking, it just changes. Like you said, you can leave a party when you’re tired because your priorities have shifted.
Don’t stress about trying to figure out your relationship with alcohol. Enjoy life and with time the answers will come. I haven’t read that many of your posts yet, but I’m really enjoying your blog. Keep up the good work.
No problem 🙂 . Thank you for reading. Congratulations on 3 years! That’s amazing. I’m so glad I took that time off because I really had completely fallen into the mainstream way of thinking about alcohol and what it’s ‘needed’ for. Now that I think about it this was a similar mindset shift to when it finally clicked for me that it’s easy to eat keto if you just think about food differently (instead of “I can’t have a that!”) I’ll try not to stress about figuring it out 🙂 though that usually is my nature (tackle something, figure it out and move on). Glad you’re enjoying the blog and thank you for stopping by!
I stumbled across your site whilst i searched ‘100 days alcohol free, then what’.
Today is day 97 (just like you i had a hangover back then and i got fed up) and i’m definitely making it to the 100th day. I did Dry January too. Then 1 evening of drinking in February, and the rest of the month dry again. And then i slipped off again, just like you. So now i’m reaching day 100 and think, ‘what to do now?’. I do believe i’m an alcoholic. Not because i drink often, because i don’t. All year i only drank on weekends, not during the week and not once 2 evenings in a row. But.. when i start to drink i drink a lot. Then the bottle goes empty (maybe 2 even), and i get drunk.
So for me it’s better if i don’t drink at all, but just like you, the thought makes me a bit sad. It’s like a farewell to an old friend. Not a good one, but still.
Thank you for posting this story, I’ve saved it in my favourites so i can read it again when i feel the need.
Congratulations on your 98th day!!! That’s awesome you’ve been able to analyze your behavior and figure out a path that might be better for you. Let me know what you decide about the future. I wish you the best of luck!