This is a continuation of my monthly series that records what’s happening in my final stretch to early retirement. If you’re interested in previous posts, they’re here:
- 14 Months To Retirement: Battling The Impatience Beast
- 15 Months To Retirement: Exploring The Different Kinds Of Stress
- 16 Months To Retirement: Discovering Cracks In My Favorite Company
- 17 Months To Retirement: Apartment Drama
So let’s get into it! This month I’m in Atlanta for 3 weeks – working from my Mom and stepdad’s house. I’m currently typing this while sitting in their backyard and listening to birds chirp as the sun slowly rises over the treelined horizon. My Mom is about to join me, but is currently fighting to create a Pinterest-style fruit boat for a potluck she’s attending later today. Suburbia is weird.
While working west coast hours on the east coast is difficult given the frequent late night demands of my job, it’s completely worth it to spend this time with my chosen family. However, the challenge of working here extends beyond a simple time difference because my parents are retired and have been for almost 5 years. My Mom retired at 55, the same month I got serious about financial independence (coincidence?).
Since my parents retired, they have been released from the shackles of mandatory alarm clocks and strict sleeping schedules and as a result, they may have become vampires 🙂 . By that I mean my Mom rarely sleeps (I wish I had that ‘problem’…) and overall they seem to take small naps during the day instead of long stretches of sleep at night (I say ‘seem’ because they deny that these naps occur despite my possession of photographic evidence of said naps, which usually happen when we’re supposed to be watching a movie together…).
They awaken around 6am (3am according to my internal clock) and are often falling asleep when my work day is only just officially ending (8pm EDT). All this to say that their sporadic sleep schedule makes their rhythm even harder to adapt to. Instead of feeling like I’m switching from pacific to eastern time, it feels more like when I visit Asia from the east coast – an almost complete 180 time switch.
Anyway, while working from Atlanta poses its own unique challenges, I do it because it’s completely worth it to me to spend this time with them. Overall this year, I’m working from elsewhere with my Mom for a whole two months. I’ve been slowly increasing that amount of time since I started this current job with the ability to work from home (I thought I was being sneaky 😉 …)
Not only am I able to see my parents on this trip, but also my ‘sister-in-law’ (she insists I call her that even though my partner and I aren’t getting married), her husband and her new son. I’ve also planned a lot of hangouts with new friends in the personal finance community including a road trip to Nashville for the weekend. Taking this time to step away from my normal life and planning my time around people I enjoy being with, feels like a happy glimpse into retirement.
My original plan for the months remaining until retirement included barreling toward my quit date without stopping to take a vacation or fly anywhere to work from elsewhere. This was to ensure I would be paid for the 10 PTO days I will have accrued and cash in approximately $4,000.
This plan was also meant to help me keep my spending in check by not buying cross-country flights (most of my current points are being used for our Australia and New Zealand retirement victory lap). While spending this time with my loved ones, I realized my original plan was misguided. Nothing is guaranteed and I shouldn’t put off what I want to do even with retirement looming 13 months away. So I’m changing my plans.
I’m going to refocus and keep striving for my goal of making myself as happy as possible now and into the future. So in terms of time with my loved ones, this is what I’m going to do:
Extend A Wedding Weekend
My partner’s family is on the east coast and one of his sisters is getting married next year. I was originally planning to treat this like I have all the weddings I’ve attended in the past: Take as little time off as possible, fly in Friday, celebrate Saturday, fly home Sunday and be a zombie at work for the next week (at least).
No longer! I’m going to stay around his family on the east coast for at least a week and possibly a month and work from there. This will cut down on the frantic pace of the wedding weekend and basically eliminate my stress related to our almost inevitable travel delays (they always happen to me on the way to weddings…). So I’m going to enjoy spending time with family and extend our time together beyond one stressful weekend.
Incorporate Waterfront Work
In 2019 I worked from waterfront AirBnBs for almost 3 weeks. It was blissful. Watching hummingbirds flit about and listening to the lapping of the waves definitely makes unnecessary conference calls more bearable and helps me keep perspective while working. So I’m going to incorporate these calming workations into 2020 as well! We’re currently figuring out schedules, but at least one week will be spent with my Mom on the water near Seattle soaking in some natural beauty.
Work From Elsewhere
As I mentioned above, I was planning to barrel through my final months to retirement with a single minded focus and I now realize that’s silly. So I’m contemplating coming back to Atlanta for a month to work from here in the spring. A $500 cross-country ticket is more than worth it and won’t affect my retirement timeline.
Conclusion
So that’s my plan! Having his time to calmly reflect and realize how happy I am to spend time with my loved ones even when I’m sleep deprived 😉 has changed how I’m going to approach the next year. I guess I should have remembered my own mantra.
How do you fit in time with loved ones into your busy life?
Is there anything a parent does better than deny the naps they are caught taking? I am highly envious of your remote work flexibility! Hope to see some of those Nashville pictures on the next month’s post. You know I was drooling over that Hot Chicken on your Instagram! One more month and you’re under a year! woohoo!
Lol – no. It seems to be a parental art. And yeah the flexibility is nice – any way you can edit your role to have that for yourself? As for Nashville, sadly those are all the pictures I have. I was only there for the weekend and between eating and chilling I didn’t take a lot of pics. That hot chicken was so goooood though. And great point – 1 year I’m coming for you!!
Working remotely sounds so freeing. I am glad you are taking time to spend with family and friends. 🙂 Definitely will make your last year less stressful.
My original family all live at least 8 hours away or more. Someone created a family group on whats app and sent a pic a few years back and it has turned into a steady feed of pics and comments every day. I get to feel like they are close even though they are far away and be part of their life adventures commenting in real time even if I am busy
Family whats app groups are great! I have one with my partner’s family. That’s wonderful it helps you feel closer. Technology is really cool in that way.
It really is great, but silly hedonic adaptation is making me used to it. I try to keep reminding myself of how amazing it is everyday. And thank you lady! I hope so.
I had to laugh at the comments about your parents, because it reminds me of the metamorphosis my parents made when they retired. They were super rigid, everything planned out, no spontaneity, and now since they’ve retired, they are almost the opposite. Also interesting, they really focused all their trips on the US, and even did so a few years into retirement, then suddenly caught the overseas travel bug and have been making European adventures all the time now. It kind of makes me wonder what retirement would be like for me — I’ve always assumed I would mostly be doing more of the things I already do outside of work, along with a few of the things I don’t have time for, but I wonder what kind of metamorphosis I will undergo? It’s fun to think about.
That’s so interesting! My parents haven’t really changed since retiring – my stepdad is always running around and my Mom heavily endorses the #SlugLife. You bring up a good point though – I also have no idea what I will actually be like in retirement and am excited to see what happens!
You really need to try to enjoy the journey. I barreled through my last 18 months and it really sucked. I should have taken it a bit easy and enjoyed it more.
I like napping too. I usually go to bed pretty late because I’m more productive at night.
Working on it 🙂 . Good to know you would have done things differently. I am usually so on top of enjoying the journey as much as possible and don’t know why I initially excluded cross-country flights and vacation from consideration. Glad I caught my mistake before it was too late. Awesome you’re a proponent of naps – I want to get better at them. Maybe in retirement 😉
<3 <3 <3 <3 So excited to see you!
-The sister-in-law
YAY SEE YOU SOON!!!
You know I agree with this 100%. Well, maybe 99% because that means you’re away from this area and unavailable to hang out quite as often 😉
I mean you could always come with me…and then we could roadtrip to see Steph 😉
sounds like a plan. never completely mortgage today with the promise of tomorrow. we’re lucky to have a smallish family group where we can drive to see them in a 3-5 hours so a weekend or long weekend isn’t bad. it’s close friends i really miss and they are more like family for me. i chose them and vice versa. those are harder with adult scheduling and responsibilities like raising kids for them. as you get older you really gotta make the effort and maybe schedule things a little better but it’s worth the effort to see people face to face.
Totally agree – I just lost myself for a second there. 3-5 hours isn’t bad at all! I’m with you on holding friends (family you choose) in high regard. Silly adult scheduling and kid raising 😉 ! Love that you make the effort and I’m all about scheduling! I’m already talking to people about putting hangouts on the calendar for December!
Well, I mainly only have my mom, and she budgets to come down here twice a year for a week or so. She tends to use passes that her friend’s husband (who works for the airlines) gets.
I throw $100 a month into a vacation fund so that I can afford to go to FinCon each year, but I think I’m going to leave the fund intact and pay out of pocket for FinCon this year so that I have money left over because I’m planning a trip to London with my mom for next year.
Also, this year we’re going to DC a few days early (staying a hotel using points, naturally) to do some touristy stuff together. So I guess we’re fitting in some good quality time.
That’s awesome your Mom budgets that in and can use free passes! Yay FinCon and yay Mom/Daughter trip to London! That sounds like a blast. Sounds like you’re definitely fitting in some quality time!!
It’s great that you figured out what makes you happy!!
We sometimes tend to forget and need to refocus. Even better when seeking those things doesn’t have any major impact on your timeline.
No need to be miserable on the journey 😉
You visit sounds like pure bliss. Here’s to flexible work!
Exactly 🙂 . And I’m super lucky it won’t affect my timeline. I was just being a worry wart. While this trip hasn’t been bliss it’s been pretty great 😉 – to flexible work indeed! I’m taking a break and sitting on the deck watching hummingbirds while writing this to you.
Wow – You are getting close to the finish line! Thanks for giving me a little inspiration. Still trying to detach myself from the cocaine of paychecks though…
Inching closer every day! Any so happy to help – good luck detaching yourself from those golden handcuffs. I haven’t heard paychecks be called “cocaine” before, but I like it!
Hahaha I was just looking at pictures of when we had a party and I created a Pinterest-style fruit boat! 🤣 Kids saw picture and now want said fruit boat and I’m like oh no, that was such a PITA to make lol!
That important note aside, yes to modifying the plan to be happy now & in the future! You got this!!! As time goes by, I’m also realizing that travelling somewhere for only a night or two is making me unhappy (especially when adding packing all the stuff needed for the kids), I’m going to watch and learn from your experiences and see how I can implement this in my work from home life :).
Now when you say flying to the east coast next spring, any thoughts on heading a bit more towards the north during that time😉???
Oh my goodness – you actually made one?! You’re hardcore. I was making fun of my Mom for even trying lol! And haha – thank you. I lost myself for a second there, but I’m BACK! And seriously on a night or two even when I only have to pack for myself! More stressful than enjoyable.
As for heading north for a bit…I hadn’t thought of that, but that could work…I’ll start looking at train schedules!
It’s always worth trying on another philosophical hat to see how it fits, and to remind yourself that your own hat fits best ;D
I did two months of remote work travel throughout the year in the first year I had all kinds of flexibility, it looked a lot like your plan this year: weddings in Hawaii? Sure, I’ll just stay out there for two weeks from one wedding to the next. Road trip? Sure, I’ve got my work in my bag, let’s go.
It was great to have done. But our lives have shifted so much since then that I much prefer to plop down in one place like a little mushroom and only venture forth in specific set travel periods. Packing for 3 humans and 2 dogs takes 6 weeks of preparation the way I do it, and that’s before considering my energy constraints. 😀
Still, as things come up, we adapt and make it work – like a random midweek trip to meet up with out of state friends who are unexpectedly flying in.
Such wise words 🙂 you’re right. That flexible work situation sounds awesome – especially the roadtrip one. That’s beyond what I can do right now so of course I daydream about it 😉 . Plopping down in one place like a little mushroom sounds amazing. I wonder if I’ll want to do the same after getting some travel out of my system. 6 weeks to pack for 3 humans and 2 dogs actually sounds short to me – great job! I’m tired just thinking about it. Have fun with your friends!! And thanks so much for stopping by 🙂 .