When I decided to pursue financial independence at the beginning of 2015 I started looking for role models to follow – people that have written about their experience that could help me understand what I would be in for and what to expect during this journey. Luckily there are now an abundance of blogs on the internet that are available for free and detail people’s journey to and through early retirement.
However, when I dove into some of these blogs I started to get frustrated. Context is extremely important and without it I had a hard time understanding the full picture of these early retirees and what contributed to their success.
One of my main reasons I took this blog public was to provide a completely transparent financial path to and through early retirement. Other blogs I have read have been immensely helpful in keeping me motivated on the long slog that is the path to financial independence, but I yearned for a more transparent approach to the numbers behind this journey.
Finances are a touchy subject in this country and obviously a privacy concern, so I do understand not “letting it all hang out” especially when your name or face is associated with your platform. I get it, but I wanted hard numbers to hold on to – I wanted to know someone’s income, expenses and any legs up they received in life to provide the context for these amazing journeys I was reading.
So when I took this blog public, I took a vow to always reveal every penny of my financial situation: how much I’m earning, how much I’m spending, if someone is paying for anything for me, and any money I earn accidentally in retirement. I wanted to provide the full picture in case it helps others on this journey. I wanted to be an open book. I also wanted to make it abundantly clear that I’m not saying anyone can do what I’m doing – there are a very specific set of variables that’s allowing me to reach for retirement at 30.
After choosing to be an open book financially, I decided that I should be anonymous online for three reasons:
- My Job
- My Relationships
- My Privacy
My Job
If my boss specifically, would somehow stumble upon this blog and see my net worth in big shiny numbers, I imagine it would change how he treats me. I believe I would be passed over for raises or even promotions (more so than I already am) and most likely would be the first person on the chopping block when layoffs come around. In the most extreme case, I might just be randomly fired since it is obvious I don’t “need” the job.
Soon after I was hired at my company a colleague bought a house and in front of the whole company a partner said “Oh great – now you’re an employee for life.” Even the generally kind people that I work with semi-joke about the inherent power imbalance that most people’s financial situation gives their employer.
My Relationships
As I alluded to, people are weird about money. I personally don’t care if everyone I meet knows all my financial details. In fact, I offer up all that information easily if someone in my life asks. This has led to some wonderful conversations, including a discussion during my most recent Friendsgiving around how I’m planning to retire at 30.
I personally don’t care about sharing that information with the people in my life and do so with the hope of making this subject less taboo. However, not everyone in my life feels the same. For example, my partner has requested I not bring up specific numbers with a few people in his life because that would make him uncomfortable. I, of course, respect his decision. My life intertwines with others and I’m not looking to make them uncomfortable for my own ends.
My Privacy
As I mentioned, finance is stupidly a taboo topic in our culture. I’ve had people be more offended when I ask them about their financial situation than their sexual proclivities or political affiliations (I’ve since learned not to ask ๐ ). And not only is finance taboo, it’s also a subject that seems to increase the likelihood of danger befalling you.
For example, My Mom is a strange and wonderful woman that has many opposing tastes. She watches adorable shows that have kids competing against each other to decorate cupcakes and also basically every show depicting murder that’s ever been in existence. In order to spend time with her, I have often watched these shows as well (more murder than cupcakes because strangely I find it more palatable, but I digress).
It is absolutely ridiculous what people are willing to harm or kill others over. We’ve watched episodes (that are all depicting real events) revisiting how a person killed someone else over piddly sums of money – $10 is the lowest we’ve seen. That’s an extreme example, but being open with the amount of money you have can be dangerous – especially in our deeply connected world where knowing my name could easily allow you find my home address.
Clark Kent & Superman
So those three reasons: the possibility of losing my job, making my loved ones uncomfortable, and decreasing my safety, led me to start this blog anonymously. But now I feel like I’m at a bit of a crossroads because having an anonymous blog that I pour so much of my passion and energy into, feels like having a secret identity.
When someone asks what I’ve been up to lately or what I did this weekend, I must sound like the most boring person alive because I can’t talk about what I was actually up to. For example, here’s an interaction I had recently:
Friend: “What were you doing in DC in September?”
My Answer: “Seeing friends.”
The Whole Truth: “Hanging with my financial heroes and winning my first award ever for a finance blog you don’t know I have.”
I am open about my plans to retire next year with everyone in my life, but being completely honest by telling everyone I have this blog hasn’t yet been a part of that – and I must admit I want it to be. I don’t like this feeling of living a double life.
The Standard Approach
So I decided to explore my options. There seem to be 3 standard approaches to sharing your information online in the financial independence community:
- Sharing all numbers, but not your name (like Mr. Tako)
- Sharing your name, but not your numbers (like Our Next Life)
- Sharing all your numbers and your name (like Mr 1500)
When I was trying to compile a list of people in the third category that (1) are already retired and (2) provide monthly updates on their net worth (like I am planning to do), it was quite a short list that included Mr 1500ย and Root Of Good.
Despite the small sample size and the stereotype of the FIRE community just including white male programmers, I was still struck that I couldn’t think of a person of color or a woman that fits into this category of being retired, providing monthly net worth updates and being open about their identity (if you know of any please let me know!)
I’m a black female and I can’t help but wonder if revealing my identity online would result in a different experience than what these guys have seen (aka nothing too bad happening). Having a blog is obviously an online endeavor that is open to anyone with an internet connection and being a woman does seem to invite more vitriol than the opposite sex receives.
For example, an 11-year study of online harassment cases found that women made up 72% of the victims and chatroom participants with female usernames are sent threatening and/or sexually explicit private messages 25 times more often than those with male or ambiguous usernames.
The Cat Can’t Go Back In The Bagย
This is the wild west aka the Internet and once information is out there, it’s very difficult if not impossible to reverse it. You don’t know who or what server has already saved it for eternity. If I put my face on this blog, it could be forever associated with it despite me taking it down. And the anon nature of someone’s random face seems to be coming to an end with the increasing competence of facial recognition software.
Even if I put just my first name on this blog, it would be the same as putting my full name in our online world – my first name is distinctive and that makes it easy to find me. Any level of partial anonymity doesn’t seem to hold an actual level of security and wouldn’t necessarily alleviate my dislike of feeling like I’m living a double life since my whole self would still not be all out there.
Additional Considerations
Some bloggers have told me that I should be open with my identity simply because it would allow me to be featured in major media. Though that is obviously not a main goal of this blog – to get “big” – it is annoying when I’m contacted by big publications about being featured in a story and then told never mind when I refuse to let them publish my real name or my face. I understand that big dog media companies want to substantiate their claims before publication, but putting that kind of identifying information out there while telling all about your finances in today’s world can be difficult.
On the flip side, I’ve also discovered through being friends with a few bloggers that are open with their identity, that doing so introduces new issues I hadn’t even thought of. For example, one of my blogger friends (understandably) doesn’t post about where she is in real time since it implies that her house is sitting empty. That’s just another thing I don’t want to have to think or worry about for myself – if something I publish could lead to theft or danger for myself or the people I love.
Conclusion
So after thinking about all of the above, I’ve decided to continue to be anonymous online. The back of my head is all you’re going to get on here people ๐ ! I will still happily meet you wonderful people IRL (so I’m not completely anonymous), but given all of the above, I think remaining anonymous online is for the best.
Putting my identity out there is a decision that can never be reversed and has possible negative consequences even after I quit my job. Despite my slight discomfort with living a double life, I’m going to keep down this path. To be frank, that slight discomfort doesn’t outweigh my privacy concerns for myself and others. So that’s how I’m going to continue living my life for now.
What do you think? Have you decided to be anon online? What factors went into your decision?
Good thing that you are thinking this through! I didn’t put that much thought in it. I just decided to put a picture on my blogs (and I also share numbers and I’m a woman ๐ )
I just wanted to be able to tell people what I do, plus my goal is to make a business of my blogs. I don’t share my exact location or my last name, but if people start digging, they might be able to find something.
This is really a very personal choice and no one can decide for anyone else if they should reveal themselves.
I think you’re making a good choice. Even though living a double life can be tough.
Haha – I didn’t put much thought into it at first either. I just assumed I would be anonymous and reveal myself after I retired as I’ve seen others do before, but now that decision has changed. Hello fellow woman sharing numbers!
That’s interesting where you draw the line (location and last name). For me I wanted to have my location out there to provide context for my cost of living, but it definitely would make it easier to find me if I reveal much else. Thank you! Cheers to the double life.
In the US, I can understand that location is more important with numbers and all. But the Netherlands isn’t so big, so that’s not so much a thing here.
Of course the city is more expensive than other areas, but in the Netherlands you could just move to the other side of the country and still be relatively close to family and all ๐
Fair point! The US is slightly bigger than the Netherlands ๐ . I’m excited to go back for a visit. I wanted to move there after college originally.
Yeah slightly indeed haha
Ahhh cool! Why didn’t you go through with that plan? I really like the Netherlands. Of course not everything is perfect, that’s impossible, but I do like most things here.
I lived in Italy by myself for 6 months and realized I missed my Mom and partner terribly and decided moving to another continent without them wasn’t going to work for me anymore ๐ . I’m still hoping to live there one day though.
I really enjoy reading your blog and I applaud you for keeping your anonymity. With all the facts that you stated, that would be my choice too.
-Jasmin
So glad you’re enjoying it! And thank you for supporting my choice.
Some non-anonymous FIRE folk: Gwen from Fiery Millennials posts her name, picture, and monthly net worth and spending numbers, though I think she is less focused on FIRE at the moment. Joseph and Tasha from One Big Happy Life (YouTube) go into their detailed numbers as well.
HOW DID I FORGET ABOUT GWEN?!? Ugh – shame on me. Excellent point. I haven’t heard of One Big Happy Life – will check them out. Thank you!
Great reflection! As you know, I’ve had similar thoughts and I love how in depth you’ve went in this post. Thinking about it as “my slight discomfort with living a double life” vs “a decision that can never be reversed and has possible negative consequences even after I quit my job” Incl. making some of the people in my life uncomfortable sure reinforces my decision to keep blogging anonymously. Also makes me think of J$’s recent decision to stop sharing his NetWorth.
Other things I’d personally add to my list of things I miss from being anonymous are: the ability to show people I’m knowledgeable enough to offer some help if they need it with their finances + being able to show my family what I do with lots of my free time. If I’m being honest, the family part also would have the benefit of giving me a bit of an ego boost if they talk positively about it ๐ – I am only human after all and praise can be nice now and then.
One compromise I’ve come up with for myself is being more open in real life about our financial plans with people I trust & just my overall financial knowledge and finally pursuing other endeavors which will eventually include a blog with my name and not my numbers on it. Something I plan to slowly build on my way to FIRE. It’s a long term solution that will help me get some more of the things I find I am missing from staying anonymous on ModestMillionaires. Besides, even the name of that blog shows a deep decision that I never wanted to reveal my identity and flash a “Millionaire status” to the world lol.
Glad you liked it lady! And yeah before I dug into all my reasons I was totally planning to reveal myself after quitting, but after thinking it over that doesn’t sound like such a great trade anymore.
Great point about showing knowledge. At least for me everyone knows I’m retiring at 30 (outside my job lol) so in that way I think they know I’m knowledgeable without knowing about the blog. Maybe that could be your angle since you’re starting to tell some friends about your FI goals? My friends still all come to me for finance advice and have suggested I pick up financial consulting and that they would be testimonials for me. There are ways around it. And haha on the free time. Let them just think you’re watching Always Sunny on repeat ๐ . I like your plan and am with you. It was pretty funny when you basically told the hotel receptionist you’re a millionaire because of your blog email ๐ .
“I was still struck that I couldnโt think of a person of color or a woman that fits into this category (if you know of any please let me know!)”
I wanted to shout Millennial Revolution!!!! https://www.millennial-revolution.com/
I think you meant a person of color AND a woman, because you already mentioned Our Next Life, who is a woman. Also, credit where it’s due, Mrs. Tako, Mrs. Root of Good, Mrs. GoCurryCracker and Mrs. 1500 are all part of the FIRE Community.
Haha – yell it from the rooftops! I actually originally had Millennial Revolution in here and then narrowed my criteria to specifically people that share all their numbers on a monthly basis (e.g. Mr 1500, ROG) since that’s what I’m planning to do. I believe MR has mentioned they have more money now than in retirement and perhaps a specific number in passing, but I haven’t seen that kind of monthly net worth update that I was looking for examples of. That’s also what I meant by women that share monthly net worth updates, which ONL doesn’t do (and is totally fine). I’ve edited that sentence to be more clear. Thank you for helping me improve ๐ .
Very true that those ladies are part of the community and that is their net worth too that is being shared. I think I separated the people writing the content I was reading as the ones ‘sharing’ it, but then again Winnie has her own blog though I haven’t read it since it’s in Mandarin. I’m going to pop on the Google Translate extension and see if she shares all the numbers over there. That would be an awesome updated example!
i don’t use my real name but my photo is all over the place. i don’t think it would be too much of a stretch for someone to figure it out but most people are too lazy and i don’t have many readers. i also don’t use many real numbers but do enjoy putting up performance numbers and breaking down the portfolio and asset allocation. i think people can learn something from that and still have some idea we’re doing ok.
i get why anyone would want to be anonymous, though, especially a female. these internet dorks are nasty.
YOUR NAME ISN’T FREDDY SMIDLAP?!? This changes everything ๐ . Good point on people being too lazy. That’s fair. As for internet dorks being nasty, sadly truer words have never been spoken.
I love your thoughtfulness around this topic; the potential gains (like media exposure), the potential relationship and job risks – all of these consequences bubble in my mind too.
I have tackled this issue several times myself but not arrived at a satisfying conclusion. Your breakdown has prompted a lot of thinking in me about what I don’t want to reveal. I know I limit information now just because I reveal my face (let alone my last name and location). I love the three people you listed and the info they choose to leave out. I think there’s a wise reason no one puts ALL of themselves out there.
Pen names themselves have a long history (I’m looking into that now for a January post). I also looked into DBA status (doing business as), but that seems like way too much of a hassle. My unsatisfying conclusion? I’ll probably write about personal finance less and general money concerns tied to history more. I’m not built to reveal my numbers. I’m built to philosophize the crap out of everything:)
I think your approach is working great by the way.
Also, when my husband bought a house a coworker said that same thing to him (now you’re stuck here). He actually likes his job. I keep telling him he has to hold it back that it’s paid off because that would create more discomfort. What a strange world.
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it. I’m sorry you haven’t found a satisfying conclusion for your situation, but hope you find it soon! And ooh that pen name post sounds fun! You’re already researching for January posts?? Impressive! I like your decision – we definitely need more money+history in the world. Awesome you found your niche and what you were built to do ๐ .
And ugh what is with people saying that?! And the fact that it would be more uncomfortable to reveal the house is paid off…a strange world indeed.
You can reveal after you retire. 9 months will fly by so there is no point revealing your identity now. Enjoy your anonymity while you can. ๐
You can talk to the press soon.
Side story – when I was screening new renters, some of them figured out I blog at Retire by 40. That is somewhat unsettling. Another reason to get out of the landlording business.
That was the original plan, but now looking at all of the above reasons I might be anon for life. And talking to the press isn’t even on my priority list lol. In fact, I’m planning to basically stop doing extra stuff for the blog after retirement (e.g. podcasts) so I can focus on me.
And oh no! That is unsettling – I’m sorry. I have no wish to be a landlord after seeing my parents struggle through it so that’s something. Thank you for stopping by Joe!
These were all exactly my reasons for remaining pseudonymous all these years. It also allowed me to be even more honest about my thinking and writing and when I pondered unmasking in a similar post, my readers urged me not to because they pointed out that I would have to start self censoring for my and my family’s safety.
And yes particularly as women of color, I do think we have to be extra careful because it just takes one motivated troll or stalker to ruin things.
The circle of the people who hate white women, hate people of color, and hate that either group has success also overlaps with the circle of people with the trait of being willing to do or say terrible things to “put them in their place”.
I’ve been a secret identity so long it’s like a second skin ๐๐ and it is weird sometimes even now but mostly I’m ok with it. Someday I might have to tell a few people in my non blog life though.
That’s a really interesting point. I don’t think I would change what I talk about if I wasn’t anonymous simply because people that know me IRL already read my blog so that’s already the lens I have while writing. Unfortunate, but great point about the circles of hate overlapping in that way. I like your view – wearing my “purple” skin has become quite comfortable. I guess I just need to be ok with living a double life ๐ .
In my almost 7 years of blogging, this is something I’ve struggled with. For the most part, I’ve used my first name only, been vague about where I live, and used the same profile picture (and only a few other pictures of myself across my social media). The truth is, I wish I would have been more anonymous. I wish I would have kept my face off my site and used an avatar or profile picture that’s less identifiable. I like being candid, honest and open on my blog. But now that more people IRL know about my blog, I’m holding back posting what I want to post. I honestly thought about starting a whole new blog last year and NOT telling anyone I know offline about it. I still might do that one day, but in the meantime, I’m still trying to find the right balance.
That’s so interesting. I’m sorry people knowing about your blog is holding you back from writing what you want to write. I can see how that could be a problem if everyone in my life knew about my blog instead of my close friends and family. You’ve given me a lot to think about – thank you for sharing.
Boy, oh boy. I’ve got so much to say on this topic.
I went through this exact same mental journey a year ago, and made the decision to reveal my identity while sharing ‘some’ of my numbers (general net worth figures, no specifics). I was publishing net worth updates anonymously prior to that and had to delete those posts. I was relatively unknown as a personal finance blogger so the reveal didn’t matter a lot, and that certainly helped.
All the concerns you brought up in this wonderful article were weighing heavily on my mind (especially the safety one), but what ultimately tipped the scale was the fact that I am a digital marketer with an existing online presence and a small audience built up. The cross-promotion and job opportunities my personal finance blog would bring to my freelance career could be significant, and vice versa.
Overall, my blogging experience under my real name has been great, even though I made the trade-off of stopping the net worth updates. But I completely understand why you made the decision that you had and I think it’s a great one and makes a lot of sense. ๐
Thank you for allowing me to share my experience here.
Oh wow – so you changed what kind of content you shared in order to reveal your identity. That’s very interesting and something I hadn’t considered (I was making the decision assuming what I share wouldn’t change).
Hello fellow marketer ๐ . Fair point on the cross-promotion opportunities. I’m so glad your experience has been positive! Thank you for stopping by.
Happy to chime in and will keep stopping by. ๐
Makes sense to me. ๐
I plan to stay anon online if I keep FOGA going. Just safer all around. Pictures with my head. Locked out are the best anyone is getting. Lol
Haha I love it! Let’s do this anon thing ๐ .
Wow! This is a powerful post! Years ago, I used to run a poetry and music review Zine and I chose anonymity for many of those reasons, but this was in the 90s and during the time of no internet. I would never show my face and only went by my generic first name. I am also a black female and because many of my regular contributors and readers were white males, I felt more comfortable having a โcovering.โ Now, my husband and I are running a blog/podcast/YouTube channel and we are more guarded but we do share who we are, though we are cryptic about our day jobs and real-time travel for the same reasons. We donโt share our work with people that we work with either. Whatโs so weird is that one of the first blog posts that we wrote was about the benefits of NOT sharing a real name. Wow! This is really a great post. Now, I want to know more about your journey.
Happy you enjoyed it! A poetry and music review Zine sounds really cool! Interesting point about having a ‘covering’ – it is an interesting feeling when I don’t have my purple hair and I’m talking to someone at a meet up and only introduce myself with my real first name. I feel like a spy ๐ . Thanks for stopping by!
Stay Clark Kent so you can be Superman (Superwoman!!!) on your terms. As Freddy so eloquently stated, โInternet dorks can be nasty.โ Another commenter pointed out the set of haters overlaps with the set of those motivated enough to do harm (like that guy who sent pipe bombs to those who a certain high profile person accused of being an โenemy of the peopleโ). You never know what is going to trigger someoneโs outlandishly violent behavior – such as killing someone over $10. Stay anonymous. You can never put that cat (or octopus?) back in the bag.
Haha I love it! Superwoman (or Wonder Woman – I just watched the new trailer for WW84…) That Freddy sure is eloquent – and sadly right. All great points. You indeed can’t put the octopus back in the bag.
Im struggling with this as well at the moment. I don’t care that much about making my blog big. But I feel less connected to folks when I’m living this double life. Like I can’t have the impact I want to by being anonymous. Still, Im a ways away from really thinking this through, given that Im just getting started on my blogging journey.
Thank you for sharing what you do and keeping us all motivated on this journey.
I’m with you – making my blog ‘big’ has never been a goal of mine, but getting excited when a publication reaches out to me only to become deflated when they say never mind because of my identity boundaries isn’t a great feeling. So I guess I’m trying to eliminate a negative there instead of have a positive ๐ .
I’m with you on feeling less connected to people. If someone asks how my day was I can’t tell the real truth and end up just saying something generic, which is basically a lie of omission. I don’t know – maybe a compromise would be telling the people in my life about my blog, but not telling the entire Internet my identity. And no problem – thank you for being here!
Iโm with you, and I share far less! We (mostly Mrs. CC) have unfortunate concerns about family members seeing large net worth values and hitting us up for money. Thereโs a precedent. I admit that I value the numbers shared by others, but I do also wonder if it satisfies our unconscious desires to compare, easily disguised as motivational context. My hope is that people can be inspired by the outcome and the methods, less by who I really am or what I make, spend, etc. I wonder about this often, so great thoughts here!
Haha! Yeah I get those kinds of concerns. I’ms sorry there’s a precedent. Interesting point about feeding into the comparison beast. For me personally I don’t think so? But I also have less than the big dogs that I listed above so I don’t know really. My original impetus for sharing was to feed the gap I felt when I joined this community and outside the community to just show that it can be done by people other than white male programmers. I think people can totally be inspired by your outcome and methods!
As much as I wish you could be a bit less anonymous, it is HARD if you put your full numbers out there. As much as Iโd love to share the things I hold back, I feel like to have to because my blog is so connected to my name. Either way, there are constraints, so you just have to decide which constraints youโd rather live with.
“You just have to decide which constraints youโd rather live with” – GENIUS! You’re totally right lady. I want to feel ‘free’, but there really isn’t a way to do that even if I put everything out there.
I give you a lot of credit for putting your numbers out there. I had toyed with doing the same, but knew it would be tough to remain anonymous with the public nature of my job and such. I do disclose rough figures of my spending, and some other things, but no the full picture.
I do agree with disclosing help though – I think it’s really important to point that out. Part of what helped me buy a house when I did was moving in with a friend to save a lot of money. My rent was very low and other expenses were taken care of (long story but basically he gets a LOT of help from his parents) so I saved very aggressively. My parents have helped on a couple of things too – mostly help I didn’t need, but speeded things along. My net worth is mine, and mine alone, however.
I think you’re probably making the right choice. Another blogger told me he gets death threats (a very non-controversial blogger, so it is really baffling). If that gets them, anyone can. Based on comparing my experiences to those of women journalists, I would guess female bloggers would get it way worse than their male counterparts.
Completely agree – disclosing help is super important. At times I would look at someone’s journey and not understand how it differed so much from mine when the numbers looked similar and later discovered it was financial help along the way. That’s awesome you were able to buy a house with that approach. Also you’re reminding me that I need to finally finish my transparency post that lays out the advantages I had all in one place, such as a paid for college/no student debt and parents that have solid finances/I won’t need to support them.
DEATH THREATS?!? Wow. No thank you. That is baffling. And good point on female vs male journalists – ugh. Yeah I’m feeling even better about my choice now.
It sounds like you’re making the right decision for you and I agree that it can be unnerving sharing too much personal information on the internet, especially numbers. I feel much the same way about Facebook because it feels intrusive to talk about my personal life in such a public forum.
But I wonder if you can choose to be anonymous online, no name, no photos, but elect to share your secret identity with friends. You run the risk that someone might tie your real name to you blog in their own internet postings but hopefully they’ll be discreet realizing you aren’t public on your site. This would reduce the awkward personal double-life encounters while protecting your name and face from the algorithm.
I don’t have a blog but I use a nom de plume just for twitter and interacting in the personal finance world because I’d like to share things about money and my job that I don’t want tied back to “me” in an internet search.
Yeah I think so – thank you! Good point about someone else linking my blog to my name – I hadn’t thought of that. So far basically none of the people that know create content themselves/have a platform that could ‘link’ my name to this blog, but that’s a smart possibility to consider. I do enjoy a good nom de plume. It sounds like you have it all figured out and found a way to share what you want where you want without it being able to negatively effect your life! Awesome job.
EXCUSE ME, LADY! I share both my name and net worth (And pictures of us on the Blog)! And I thought we were friends.
*pouts in a corner*
But I get it… It’s hard to be super transparent. It’ll be interesting to see where you settle.
WHELP – I’m a horrible human being. I would blame it on my poor memory, but I have no excuse. You are so right! After all these edits roll in I’m going to figure out how to update this post.
I look forward to the updated post… ๐๐
I revised the criteria I was going for to make it more clear – BOOM!
Interesting post. I think most of us who blog go through this at some point. I wrote about it on my old blog & had many of the same fears + worrying about having a young daughter.
Since coming out, I have to say that none of the things I feared ever materialized. If anything, I was surprised in the opposite direction that most people didn’t seem to care at all. If they took the time to go through the blog, they certainly haven’t talked to me about it, treated me any differently or even asked many questions.
That said, I still don’t provide net worth numbers (though anyone who really cares could probably get a pretty rough estimate in about 15-20 minutes), don’t show any current pics of my daughter, and am very careful to not discuss things like travel plans on the blog or social media for security reasons.
Whatever you decide, hope you do it because it is the best for you. I don’t think there is a right or wrong way to do this.
Cheers!
Chris
Hi Chris! Great to hear about your experience – I’ve found something similar since I’m open with my retirement plan in real life though not my blog. No one really cares and a few people just ask me for quick financial advice, which is cool. It sounds like you put some boundaries in place to make your level of openness work for you. I love it. I’ll definitely do what’s best for me ๐ . Thanks so much for stopping by!
I think your reasons are valid and the reasons pertaining to the workplace are also my reasons. Privacy is becoming a cute anachronism these days, so if you desire that, regardless of reason, stick with it.
Glad we’re on the same page ๐ . And yeeeah ‘privacy’ sure is cute given everything companies know about me. But you’re right – I do desire that and always have (I often told my friends “I never want to be famous” and they were confused since that’s what a lot of them aspired to be) so I’m going to keep my identity offline for now.
I’ve put a great deal of thought into this as well and I fall under your second listed approach (Giving my name and photo… but not net worth). One big concern that you didn’t mention is the legal side. It’s one of the big reasons I don’t talk about my total wealth. I have a small portfolio now but as it grows, along with my blog, I’m worried about frivolous or more serious legal actions. When people know you have money, they’ll find ways to come after it. Have you considered this as well?
I have and am going to form an LLC to protect my blog from my personal wealth. Otherwise if someone doesn’t know my name or face it’s a little hard to find me directly to sue me for some reason ๐ .
Totally understand your reasons and I went through the same. I still have not fully associated my name with my blog and podcast although I will use it on my new side hustle venture because itโs not fire related. There are a bunch more Women who do quarterly Updates like Modern Fimily. Might spur another list – women in financial independence who share real numbers lol. We could probably take the rockstar finance net worth directory and Find people who share numbers and then search for spending updates. I donโt think there is a difference between monthly and quarterly sharing or sharing numbers and sharing spending reports though. I donโt blame people for not sharing (including myself) because 1) it makes you a target for financial hacking and 2) makes it weird with friends and family. I have gotten a few creepy DMs since I started sharing more details and now worry a bit more for my personal security.
That’s interesting – what made you want to link your side hustles but not the blog or podcast? Haha that’s a great idea for a list – someone who is less lazy than me please steal the idea! Agree there isn’t a difference between monthly/quarterly/annually really – it’s just all the numbers I want to see. Some share a portion (net worth, but not income) and I thought only a few shared all, but I will dig into that directory to see what’s up. Great idea! I’m sorry you’ve gotten creepy DMs and worry more about security – yuck. All good points. Thanks for stopping by lady!
New-ish reader (found you about two months ago) and I actually really enjoy that youโre completely anonymous. It makes everything feel a little safer and it helps me feel like more of a โreaderโ and less of a โvoyeurโ. Iโm also a woman, only a few years older than you, and have shared your blog with other similarly-minded and aged ladies, all who have said they enjoy it, too. Thanks for all the sharing you do, and protect your privacy!!
๐
Hi There! That’s so interesting to hear – I’m glad you like the anonymity and that it makes you feel better (reader vs voyeur). I haven’t heard anything like that before. So glad y’all are enjoying the blog and thank you for sharing it. Will do! Thank you for stopping by ๐ .
Youโre a wonderful person and I completely understand the privacy piece.
Do what makes you feel comfortable and keep inspiring us all ๐
Aww shucks thank you! And I’m on it ๐ !
Any picture you post can identify your location. Have you read the blog–Don’t read this, it’s boring? She is open about her name and location.
I’m already open about my location though I do know how to remove location information from photos and no I haven’t read that blog.
This post really resonates with me, thanks for sharing. As a woman of colour who shares her numbers, I’m been blogging anonymously for nearly 6 years. Not only is my identity secret but none of my friends and family know I blog – my blog is kind of like my diary, one which I am prepared to share with strangers but not with my nearest and dearest! Why not? Partly because of fear of judgement (from family – I’m the lowest earner in the family and I think they would be concerned to see how much/little I actually earn!) and possibly jealousy from friends. My biggest fear is being ‘outed’ by someone I know before I’m ready, if I ever will be ready.
A couple of UK bloggers are out there, getting interviewed by mainstream papers and the BBC and promoting FIRE with their stories. Although I would love to help more people (more women, in particular ones who discovered FIRE later in life like myself) in sorting out their finances with my story, I have absolutely no desire to be a ‘face of FIRE’ or to make any real money from my blog. It’s likely that I will remain anon indefinitely.
Ultimately, perhaps it’s best to just do what you are comfortable and happy with.
Glad it resonated with you! And those sound like totally fair reasons to keep your blog a secret. I hope you can continue along your anonymous journey. Have you thought about taking more steps to the anon side to decrease the change someone you know would find the blog if that’s your biggest fear? Just curious.
I’m completely with you – I have no desire to be ‘famous’ or the face of anything though I do want to help spread financial education and the word that reaching financial indepdendence even if you’re not a white, male programmer is possible. I love the advice and will be taking it ๐ .
I second all of these reasons. And I have one more: I’m a single woman. Like you said, anyone can locate me if they have my name. One quick Google search and they know where I live. That knowledge can compromise my safety. Also, as a single woman, any guy I date (or don’t date) can Google me too. Knowing I have substantial savings could lead to less than altruistic motives for pursuing me. That’s dangerous too. Mostly, I don’t think everyone I work with needs to know every aspect of my life. Some things are for work, and other things are for me.
Great point! That is definitely a great consideration. I semi-jokingly say that if my partner and I break up I’m done with dating ๐ , but that mindset might not last forever. Completely agree on the work front – I wouldn’t be revealing my identity until after I quit, but for all the reasons above and the ones you point out staying anon seems for the best.
This is an excellent post and very well thought out analysis of revealing your identity online. I have considered the idea of sharing because it’s human nature to want to know who you are connecting with online, and it’s also better for business. But you raise some tremendous points about privacy and security. It is a big concern in today’s day and age. Might be better to stay anonymous and build brand, which you are also excellent at. Thanks for sharing, APL!
Aww thank you for your kind words! I’m with you on human nature – that’s a big struggle for me, but it seems like no one has felt less connected to me with only seeing the back of my head so that’s good ๐ . I’ll keep on keeping on!
I don’t think so. There’s a lot of bullies and nasty people online. A lot of people like to join hoards and pounce on people, especially minorities and people out of a clique.
PF twitter is very white. But they do go out of the way to treat black people well. Other races, not so much.
I’m with you on staying anon ๐ . There does seem to be more verbal nastiness online than in person, but it has been less than I anticipated so I contemplated being open with who I am. I’m curious about your comment “But they do go out of the way to treat black people well. Other races, not so much.” I know my Twitter might be a bubble so what have you experienced with this? I want to make sure I have a well rounded understanding of PF Twitter and haven’t seen this myself.
Firstly, I just found this blog today and have really enjoyed reading it. Well done on your upcoming FI!
I write a blog and choose to remain anonymous mainly for the awkwardness of my friends finding out. Some people know I have a blog like close family members but Iโd never tell people at work. Too much politics! Iโm a long way off FI so I donโt want to cause issues for myself.
Welcome! So glad you’ve been enjoying it. And thank you! That’s interesting you tell your friends, but not family. I usually hear the opposite. Why don’t you want your friends to find out? I’m just curious. And totally with you about work. I may tell them I’m retiring, but I’m not going to tell them I have a blog basically cataloging all the bad crap they’ve done haha.
Love your well-thought-out reasoning, and I totally get it. I have a professional blog (school library), but I can’t bear even the thought of being “out” on the public internet. Public forums (like BiggerPockets) make me stay super careful about what and how I say it. I’m reworking my real estate business to get my personal address off deeds and other public records.
Would you be OK with your friends knowing the details of your finances? I would think letting some friends know that you write a blog would be ok (since a lot of your discomfort seems to be about the “secret identity” in your personal life rather than in anything you publish publicly) — some of them will immediately look it up and get the whole skinny, some of them will say “hmm, that’s nice” and go back to their FB and Instas. The likelihood of a leak is slender unless you become notorious for some other reason. If the work worry is still there, wait til the fall and you’re outta’ there!
And in answer to another question, Paula Pant is a POC (Nepalese ancestry) who’s both ‘out’ with her identity and fully transparent with her numbers. http://affordanything.com.
Sounds like you have great reasons to be anonymous. I’m fine with my friends knowing about my finances and my blog, but other people in my life are not so that’s one of the reasons I don’t just tell everyone about it. A few friends and family do know I write this blog – some even read and comment on it while others are in that “hmm that’s nice” category haha.
Great point about Paula! I do love her site and wasn’t aware she posts monthly finance updates. I’ll look those up. Thank you!
I wish I had these choices when starting my blog. But German law requires your full name and private adress on the web page and there is really no legal way around it (except for starting a business and paying rent for an actual physical office since a WeWork or PO box won’t suffice). And I am dead set on never making any money of the blog because I have seen too many bloggers compromise a tad too much to get that affiliate money ๐
So what I decided on was a compromise. I don’t share my numbers outright, in big bold letters and shiny instagram posts like I wish I could if I remained anonymous BUT the information is all out there in my blog. You just have to read and connect multiple articles and calculate a bit here and there. And I think that’s important to be able to evaluate the blogger’s starting point like you said.
Happy last days of work and good luck for your upcominh retirement!
That’s really interesting and definitely presents a challenge. It sounds like you found a great balance of what the law requires and how you’re willing to share your information. Also I was with you on “never making any money off the blog” until I saw a few examples of people that were able to do it without having money change their goals and writing. I think it can be done, but if I start going off the deep end people let me know ๐ . And thank you!
To be honest, the advertisments are kind of annoying when typing a comment on a mobile. It blocks almost 1/3 of the screen. These are the kind of compromises I wasn’t willing to endure.
Thank you for such a thorough article. I am going through the same internal debate right now wondering if I should stay anonymous or go public. Your article has certainly shed some more light into the issue.
Happy it helped!